


Blind Luck 2: No Way Back

by onkoona



Series: Blind Luck [2]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 57,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onkoona/pseuds/onkoona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continues from Blind Luck 1, go read that first, or this makes no sense. Complete. Rated: PG, mostly harmless</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Luck 2: No Way Back

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part 2 in the Blind Luck series.  
> ============  
> This is a straight copy from what's on FF, with notes at the ends of the chapters as I uploaded them.

## *Chapter 1*: Chapter 1

=================  
Blind Luck2: No Way Back

Notes:  
1) This story picks up right after chapter 7 of Blind Luck ( storyid: 5886368) This installment will make no sense if you haven't read Blind Luck 1.  
2)The epilogue of Blind Luck 1 still stands but as it is set 5 years from now, it'll be in the future for a while yet...  
Now that I've started on BL2, BL1 needs a subtitle: 'The Way Out'  
3) Errata: I made a few canon factual mistakes in BL1, most notably the opening times of the Touya Go club. In this series it runs from 10 am to 10 pm every day of the week. And Heart of Stone is open daily from 11 am to 11 pm. I don't see how I can fix this mistake without totally rewriting BL1, and I think I can spend my time better on writing BL2 (and maybe BL3?). I may make an attempt to make the times fit better in this fic, but most probably not.  
Furthermore I was mistaken about a character name of one of the members of the Heart of stone Go club. I had remembered the older man as being Doumoto but his name should be Soga. I have corrected this in my BL1 uploads.  
4) As of yet BL2 is not finished; about 1/3rd is still in the works. However I've had the first 2/3rd ready for some time now so I've decided to upload because there's really nothing more I want to do to this part.  
As for the rest of this fic; I'm having trouble getting enough time with my betas 'cause they actually have a life.  
But don't worry: BL2 will NOT be abandoned, even if after these 44k there may be another silent period. (God, I hope not!).  
5) This story is a bit of a slow starter, sorry about that, just stick with it, it **will** pick up speed.  
6) Many thanks to my betas: Amarthame  & Maiden of Book

Well, so much for the author's whinging.  
Now on to the story; please enjoy and don't forget to review!  
(Please, please, review!)

================================  
 _From Blind Luck1:_

_Just before they left the meeting room, Hikaru whispered,  
'/I'm so glad you're back./' He pushed the chair back under the table as Sai opened the door. '/And I'm so gonna totally beat you at Go, sometime soon!/'  
'/You can always try,/' was Sai's answer, as he navigated the doorway and was ready to field any and all of his new friends' questions._

Chapter 1.

The blind man who had been known to himself and others as 'Mayo' for the past year stepped out into the bigger area, flanked on the left by his new/old friend Shindou Hikaru, who had given him back his name only moments before. He was Fujiwara no Sai, Go tutor at the imperial court, dead a thousand years and a ghost that had haunted Go players. Also he was SAI, the Internet prodigy and mystery. And now he was here, in the flesh and blind to boot, and his only connection with his past was the teenager standing at his side.

It was a bit much to take in, but the fact that he believed every word the boy had spoken bolstered his confidence immensely. That is not to say there wasn't a lot here to work through, and a whole avalanche of questions to ask, most of which had probably not even occurred to him yet. But for now, he had a friend, who knew him from before, and that mattered to his heart more than the answers to a thousand questions.

'And?' Ogata asked. He sounded ever so slightly breathless.  
Sai took a moment to gather his wits. Ogata had trusted him; taking him home proved that much. It hurt Sai that he could not give Ogata that same trust; he may not have known the man long but he sounded and acted like a thoroughly modern man, who'd consider himself far too rational to believe in fairy tales.  
So that left disassembling and downright withholding of information.  
And that worried Sai immensely, as he didn't think he was very good at that sort of thing. This apart from the fact that the prospect of repaying trust with falsehoods made the blind man's stomach turn.

Hikaru touched his hand to Sai's left, the one in the cast, trying to find some purchase. He settled in, gripping part of the cast.  
Sai felt heartened by the touch, squeezed Hikaru's fingers awkwardly, took a deep breath and said, 'What was said is between Hikaru and myself, but he has told me two things of great importance,' Hikaru flinched at that, Sai squeezed his fingers again in reassurance.  
'One, I am Sai. My full name is Fujiwara...' he almost added the /no/, 'Sai.' He paused a moment before continuing, 'The second is that I have no family; I'm all alone.'

It hadn't been until he had started speaking that he had realized that that was what really mattered in the story Hikaru had told him; Fujiwara no Sai had lived and died a thousand years ago, any family he had had was dead for almost as long. There was no father or mother, no sister or brother, nor aunts, uncles, cousins to come forward, ever. Sai's eyes filled with tears. All his dreams of one day finding his family lay dead, and their sudden death stabbed his heart with a sharp pain. In all the time he had longed for family, he had never wondered what they'd be like. Now that he knew he would never meet them, he yearned to know about them. Who were they, what were their relationships, their stories. What of their hopes and dream. All he could hope for now was that that bit of his memory would return to him some day, and he'd have a reintroduction of sorts. That would be nice, but he didn't feel that it would make up for the fact that he was all alone in this life.

Sai hung his head and started to turn away to hide his tears. Hikaru's hand on his plaster cast wrist stopped him.  
/'You have me, don't you?'/  
Sai was silent for a moment, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. /'Yes, I do,'/ he finally whispered, knowing even as he said it, that that was not the same as having real family. But maybe it would do. Sai certainly hoped it would. /'Thank you, Hikaru,'/ he added.

'Just a minute,' Ogata interrupted, sounding miffed. 'How do you know that for certain; there could still be someone, somewhere? Now that you know your name, family could be found, couldn't they? Why would you take his word for it?'  
Sai's tears dried up, helped along by wiping his face with his right sleeve. He hadn't figured that he'd be having to field Ogata's questions just yet. He had hoped for more time to try and gauge the titleholder's mood and maybe be able to talk more privately. The blind man cursed his own lack of vision; he could not see the man's face to read his mood and he was too far away to feel his presence. Sai's heart plummeted when he realized that this would be where the confrontation would start. He turned back around, shoring up his courage and said,  
'Ogata-san, I believe what Hikaru-kun says absolutely; there is no-one.'  
'But how, why...?' Ogata sputtered.  
Sai's heart thudded in his chest at the thought of losing this man's trust. He had been a good friend, letting a total stranger in his house and life, and he deserved better. But Sai could not give him better, and that realization hurt.

'Ogata-san,' Sai said, bowing, 'I'm sorry but I can't tell you more. You have given me trust, and I'm unable give you the same back, no matter how much I want to. I have never lied to you and you have my solemn oath I'm not lying now. Understand that I cannot explain my certainty without lying, so please let it go.' Sai knew that pleading might not be a good choice with the man, but still, lying would be worse.  
'But...? Shindou has lied before about knowing you!' Ogata tried again. Sai squirmed to hear the accusation in his voice. Was there some sort of problem between the titleholder and the boy? And if there was, had Sai's former existence been a factor in that? He vehemently hoped not; it would complicate matter enormously.  
'Please, I trust him,' Sai pleaded one last time. The plea was met with silence.  
Sai swallowed, if Ogata could not accept this, and Sai knew he was asking for much here, their budding friendship would be lost. It hurt to face the loss, but as the silence continued, Sai had to take it as rejection.

Hanging his head, Sai sighed and said, 'I value your friendship greatly, Ogata-san, it will grieve me much to lose it. But I have no choice in this.'  
'Shindou is making you do this, right?' Ogata hissed. Sai hadn't expected the man to be this angry, and the anger seemed to be firmly directed Hikaru and not at Sai at all. There really was something hostile going on between these two! Now Sai was caught in the middle, and he didn't like the position at all.  
There was a footstep forward; Ogata's.  
'Hey, lay of me, dude!' Hikaru said from besides him.  
Sai stepped out a step in front of the boy, feeling the titleholder's presence very close to him. It had been an instinctive move to separate the two and diffuse the situation. He couldn't be sure there might not have been violence if he hadn't stepped in between them, but he really didn't want to find out. Also he knew he owed the boy a debt, one he could never repay, for Hikaru had let Sai totally derail his life, at the very least, when he had been a ghost.

Sai's heart hammered in his throat, knowing first hand Ogata's moments of 'forgetting himself' as he had called it. But better the man hurt the former ghost than the boy; after all Sai knew he could take it. He just hoped it wouldn't come to that.  
'Ogata-san, this is my decision, not his. Deal with me!'  
Ogata was now standing right in front of Sai as he spoke, his cigarette breath wafting in Sai's face.  
'Why can't you explain it me? Don't you want family?'  
The question felt like a punch straight to the heart. Not want family? He'd give his right arm for family! But he knew there was no-one, not after a thousand years!  
'Of course I want family,' he started to explain patiently, his heart aching with the truth of the wish. 'But there just isn't anyone out there for me.' He hesitated, he'd come to crux of this argument and he needed to compose his next words carefully. 'I don't want to lose our friendship over this but, please, I can't explain it, I'm sorry.' He took a deep breath and continued, his voice sounding strained, 'I understand if you don't want me around anymore...'  
'No!' This time Ogata's response was so quick it startled Sai. He couldn't be sure but he thought he'd detected fear in the tones. He heard Ogata sigh, his own heart slowing down in synergy.  
'No, I meant what I said, I still want to play Go with you, and you're welcome at my house, for as long as you need it.'  
Sai felt a weight lift from his heart, but just to be sure he asked, 'Even if I don't explain?'  
Ogata sighed again. 'Even if you don't explain,' he confirmed. 'Not that I like it, but if that's the condition, then I will accept that.' He sounded defeated.  
Sai breathed a sigh of relief; he would have been devastated, quite literally, if he had alienated the titleholder. He was under no illusion that there would be no more arguments, but for now it seemed he'd won. So far so good.

As if on cue Akira spoke up, 'Can we ask, uh, can we know anything more about what Hikaru told you?' Akira's voice had an odd tinge of concern, that Sai found touching. He contemplated what more he could divulge but realized that he really needed to confer with Hikaru before he revealed anything more. The little bit that he had revealed had made Hikaru squeeze his fingers almost painfully, and Sai could understand his concern, especially as it was Hikaru who knew all the details and Sai wouldn't know what was safe to say and what was not.  
'Hell no!' Hikaru blurted out.  
'Not right now, I think, Touya-kun,' was Sai's more diplomatic answer.  
'Anyway, don't you wanna play?' Hikaru added.  
What a good idea! Sai smiled. 'Of course I do,' he beamed, immensely grateful for the change of subject.

Hikaru moved his hand to Sai's elbow and gave him a tug to follow him. He guided Sai to a chair and then audibly flopped into a chair across from him.  
/'Are you sure you are okay with all this?'/ came a whispered question by his left ear.  
/'Yes, I trust Hikaru-kun, Touya-kun,'/ Sai answered. And that was the truth. He had only met the boy today, but their history spanned over two years of living in each other pockets. Sai was sure there would have been fights for dominance; their former unique situation pretty much guaranteed that. And Hikaru had said he hadn't been interested in Go at all before meeting a Go obsessed ghost. So something, or some things must have happened for Hikaru have become a Go pro in his own right.  
/'And with Ogata-san?'/ Touya apparently was very perceptive too, he'd have to remember that.  
/'I hope so...'/ Sai trailed off.

As Hikaru readied the game, Sai suddenly remembered he had promised to play Ogata today, first thing. Sai wanted to clear his debt, even though he had played Touya first this morning, he knew he should really be playing Ogata next. But he also wanted to find out more about his new/old friend. He wanted to see if he could see himself in Hikaru's Go.  
The blind man and the titleholder had reached a truce of some sort, but Sai wasn't at all sure it would hold if he started to give the boy some of his time. Still he wanted to play his long time friend so much, it made his hands itch. Sai decided to brave the waters.

'Ogata-san, I know I still owe you a game, but would you mind if I played Hikaru-kun first?' he asked tentatively.  
'Please?' he begged, when the other remained silent.  
Ogata audibly snorted, and Sai realized the man's patience was wearing thin.  
'Well okay, I need to check something in the office anyway.' the titleholder said. Then, to Sai's relief, he changed the subject to food by asking Akira to order lunch for all. His footsteps moved off to the left while Akira's went to the right, to where Sai remembered the receptionist's station was.

xXXx

/'You realize they ain't done askin', don't ya?'/ Hikaru whispered.  
/'I know...'/ Sai touched his ragged sleeve covered fingertips to his mouth for a moment, then let his hand fall. He knew they'd come back to the same subject again and again. He just hoped he could keep strong.

'Do you /nigiri/, now?' Hikaru asked once they were truly alone.  
Fair question Sai supposed.  
'Well, as I can't see what my opponent's pulling out of the /goke/, I've given up on that...' he whinged.  
'I don't suppose you play your own stones now, either?' Sai could hear the smile in the words.  
'No, I'm afraid not.' Was Hikaru making fun of him?  
'Well then, I'll lay the stones for you, pretty much the same as always!' Hikaru laughed and it sounded wonderful to Sai.

They worked out the practicality of it; Sai would say a coordinate and Hikaru would play it and answer with a coordinate of his own. The blind player had done it this with all his other games, so far, but it was new to Hikaru. That surprised Sai, who then realized he shouldn't have been; he had not been blind when he had been haunting the boy, he had merely been unable to actually play the stones onto the Goban.

Hikaru told him how they had worked it out while Sai had been a ghost and they first started playing together. He spoke of the confusion of the point of view of the coordinate system, since before they both had been sitting on the same side of the Goban, playing other people. And how they had had to abandon it in favor of Sai pointing with his fan.  
Sai was very touched by the story, and realized as he gripped his folded up cane, he used the stiff bundle pretty much as one would use a fan for pointing and expressing himself. In new or unfamiliar company he would always keep his hands still in his lap, lets they start gesturing wildly and draw unwanted attention to himself, or accidentally him someone. He was glad to learn he had always had a fan before, as he was glad to learn of anything about himself before the amnesia, and he eagerly asked Hikaru about it.

'You always had it in your right hand,' the boy said thoughtfully.  
'And when I dreamed of you that time, after you were gone, you gave it to me in the dream...' There was a movement across the board and something touched the palm of his right hand.  
He took the item and touched it with the fingers of his left hand. It was long and rigged, made of paper and wood, and it felt very, very familiar.  
'You dreamed of me?' Sai was oddly touched; to appear in someone's dreams was something special, he felt sure.  
'Uh-hun,' the boy confirmed, 'I tried to talk to you but you didn't seem to hear me. In the end you gave me the fan and smiled. It...' he hesitated, 'I guess it made me feel like I was heard, even though you couldn't really hear me. Kinda...' he trailed off.  
Sai fingered the fan, opened it, closed it, balanced it. The only odd thing about it was its balance; it was off somehow, the rest was very familiar.  
'But,' Sai started, gripping the closed fan tight for a moment, 'this can't possibly be...?'  
'Uh... no,' Hikaru said from his position across the Goban, 'this one I bought after I had the dream. It's been with me ever since.'  
Sai stiffened; he had had dreams too over the last year; strange, disjointed dreams. Not unhappy or nightmarish, for the most part, but very unsettling and most often he wouldn't remember any of them when he woke. Just odd and disconcerting feelings.  
He wondered if he had dreamed of his friend; if maybe he _had_ given the young man his fan.

'Sai?'  
Sai blinked and focused again on his surroundings, such as they were.  
'Are you okay?' came the concerned question again.  
'Yes..., yes,' he said with a little bit more confidence at the second word. His nightmares had plagued him before and would do so again he felt sure, but for now he wanted to think of something else.  
He held out the fan for the boy to take back, saying, 'Your turn, I believe.'  
Hikaru didn't take the fan, but instead said, 'Uh, you should have that, it's yours after all...'  
Sai held out the fan again.  
'No, I have other things to hold onto now and as I gave it to you, it's yours and no-one else's.' Sai offered the fan more firmly.  
Hikaru's chair squished a bit as he moved and the fan was taken this time. As it slipped through his fingers, Sai felt a tassel at the end of the handle. He was sure his had never had a tassel and with that certainty came the good feeling of passing the fan to its rightful owner.  
In compensation Sai gripped the bundle of his folded cane. That also felt right, his companion of the last year. He turned his mind to the game after that.

oOOo

Please review!

## *Chapter 2*: Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

The game was well on the way, when he heard footsteps behind him, Touya's, and a little later another set from the opposite direction, Ogata's. The presence of the last was confirmed by a thickening of the air with cigarette smoke, a moment later. As if by mutual agreement the game was played in silence, as seemed to be the norm for most Go players, except for the calling of the coordinates. Even their small audience was absolutely silent throughout the match.  
A cup of tea appeared in his hand, and he thanked the giver, being pretty sure it had been Touya who had brought it, as he sorted out the options for the next stage of the game in his mind.

From the game so far Sai gleaned he really should have given Hikaru a handicap. He idly wondered at what handicap they used to play. Now, he would say 3 or 4 stones. More likely 4.  
The boy had bold and interesting moves and two moves were downright brilliant, but Sai caught on fast enough and nullified each neatly, without stomping out his opponent's efforts.

All in all Sai was absolutely delighted with the boy's play and he saw some of his own moves in it, reflecting back at him. His heart swelled with the idea that this young man was in essence his protégé. And even if he had no memory of teaching him, he could see the lessons learned in every stroke.

/'Beautiful...'/ Touya breathed behind him, standing a little closer than Sai had realized. Sai agreed with him; the game was indeed beautiful.

/Yose/ started with Hikaru taking the stone that Sai had set up for him earlier. It sprung a trap that collapsed Hikaru's plans for the upper right corner. A dozen more hands were played before Hikaru must have seen that he was out of options and resigned.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence, then Sai and Hikaru both talked at once.  
'I should have given you a handicap...'  
'Why did you go easy on me?...'  
Both fell silent.  
'Why did you go easy on me?' Hikaru repeated, sounding upset now.  
Sai wasn't sure what to say. He didn't think he had gone easy. He said so.  
'Yes, you did,' Hikaru accused, 'here you saw right through me and you gave me a pat on the head instead of destroying me here...'  
Sai was sure the boy must have pointed at a formation and he had two possible spots he could be pointing to.  
'Hikaru, you'll have to give me the coordinates.' Sai admonished, 'Are you talking about 2-13 or 7-15?'  
'Uh,' Hikaru started to speak.  
'Shindou-kun, aren't you used to Sai using the co-ordinate system?' Ogata's question sounded sharp, accusing really.  
'Uh, well...,' Hikaru stammered.  
Sai's heart beat faster, fear speeding it up, making it hammer in his chest. Ogata was smart at most times, but at Go he was brilliant, what could either of them say to assuage the man's suspicions?  
'We, uh, were used to playing on the computer,' Hikaru explained. Ah, well, Sai knew nothing about computers, he even knew that his knowledge about computers was so small he couldn't even rate the believability of Hikaru's lie. Or was it a lie? The boy had said they had played Go on /Internet/. Sai thought he had heard somewhere that /Internet/ had something to do with computers. All Sai really knew about the subject was that whenever he had had to wait in Mr. Uwayaku office, he had been particularly forbidden to touch the computer.

Sai fervently hoped Ogata would not put Hikaru's untruth to the test, because he'd knew he'd fail it.  
'Grumpf.' Ogata didn't sound convinced.  
'So was 2-13 or 7-15?' was Sai's attempt to steer the conversation back to the game.  
Hikaru hesitated but finally said, '2-13, I hadn't even noticed you had caught unto 7-15...'

Munching on sandwiches, Sai and Hikaru proceeded to dissect the game, with occasional comments from Touya. Ogata kept silent throughout, but Sai hadn't heard him leave and periodically tufts of smoke drifted over the Goban, so Sai was sure he hadn't left. The man's continuous silence worried Sai; what was he thinking? And how much trouble was he in? Was Ogata still going to take him home at the end of this day? Sai wasn't even quite sure how he felt himself about continuing to accept the titleholder's hospitality. Would the Go he could play with this man be enough of a compensation for disrupting his life and home?

Yes, Sai could play at the other man's level, and yes, considering Ogata was ranked as a 10-dan, whatever that was, something high probably, but since Sai knew nothing of the Go world, he couldn't guess if his own Go playing skills were all that remarkable.

But Ogata had called him a 'genius'. Sai hoped that that meant he was of some unique value to the pro player. Maybe he could use some of that 'genius' to pay back Ogata, with interest, and maybe, may be, make a life for himself, with a job and a home. Maybe.

xXXx

The post game session ended with Touya and Hikaru, both writing down the /kifu/, again assisted by Sai's calling out the coordinates.

As soon as the /kifu/ were written and lunch was over Touya asked for a game from Sai and Ogata let him have it, with only a 'sure, go ahead'. Sai started to worry that the other man might be having second thoughts about keeping his friendship with him. He was so silent; was he brooding, or maybe seething? He was unsure how to broach the subject, or even if he should bring it up at all.

But as soon as the first 3 hands were played he forgot all that and, for him, the only thing that existed was the Goban with its black and white occupants.

Touya was good, Sai already knew that of course, a solid player for one so young. One of the only shortcomings he had was his depth of thinking. Hikaru was better at that but only sporadically. Sai felt sure that both would improve with training and maturing. But for now, Sai read further and further into the game to make his moves and in the end out thought Touya, who resigned just after /yose/ started, having realized that the game was truly played and over at that point.

/'Sai,'/ came from near his left ear.  
/'I have to go soon, I'm meeting Waya and Isumi. You wanna blow this place and come too?'/ Hikaru was resting his arms on the back of Sai's seat.  
Sai turned his head to the left, and thought for a moment. He didn't know who Waya and Isumi were of course, but he got the impression he had known them before. If they were friends of the boy, they'd probably be young too. And anyway, he really wanted to talk to Hikaru alone.  
/'I'm not sure what your friends would want with a blind man,'/ he hedged.  
/'Why they'd love to see you; they're pros too!'/  
Hikaru lowered his voice to an almost silent whisper, /'Waya actually played you on NetGo.'/  
/'NetGo...?'/ Sai repeated uncertainly.  
/'Yes, remember I told you, you played as yourself on the Internet?'/  
Sai nodded.  
/'NetGo is where you played him, on the Internet. So are you coming?'/  
Sai nodded his understanding, but didn't answer straight away.

Should he go with Hikaru? Sai checked his watch. It was nearly 7 already, how would Ogata react if he went off with the boy? Sai's guess was: not too well.  
And Sai felt he should talk to the generous man before too long, as Sai was well aware that Ogata had been too quiet all afternoon. And he still owed the man a few games.

/'I'm sorry,'/ he said, /'I still owe Ogata a game, and I'd like to play him now...'/  
Hikaru snorted behind him.  
/'You don't have to play him if you don't want to.'/  
/'But I do want to.'/ Sai insisted, which was true enough; Ogata was a challenge to play.

Hikaru was silent for a moment. And then he stood up, pushing himself off the back of the chair.  
'Okay, if that's what you want.' he sounded annoyed again. Sai wondered what life with a child as mercurial as this boy seemed to be had been like.  
With that thought Sai turned around in his chair and said, 'Hikaru, I do want to talk to you more,' desperate to catch the boy before he ran off.

He wanted to talk to him a lot more; he had so many new questions about his past life. Like what his first life had been like, or what the other player he had haunted as a ghost had been like. And about their life together as ghost and boy. There was so much he wanted to ask.

'Here's my card.' A card appeared in his hand. Hikaru had moved more to the front of Sai.  
'Aren't they cool?' now the boy sounded smug.

Sai rubbed his fingers over it gently, it was glossy, he could faintly feel embossing on it.  
'If you need me, call,' the boy said sincerely.  
'Is your number on here?' Sai asked.  
'Yeah, my new mobile.'  
'Could you read it out for me?'  
'Oh!' Hikaru exclaimed, 'I forgot, sorry, yeah I can.' He did so, adding the address too, when Sai asked him for it.  
Sai put the card safely away with the others, after he had pressed his fingernail in the edge of the short end and folded over a small corner on the opposite end. That way he could identify it as being Hikaru's.

'I need to go,' Hikaru said again. 'Uh, when do we meet? If you still wanna, that is...' he trailed off.  
Sai noted the uncertainty in his voice, making Sai feel oddly wanted. Yes, there was so much more he wanted to talk to the young man about, but it would have to wait until next time; Sai really needed to find out where he stood with Ogata.  
'Maybe we can try meeting tomorrow?' Sai suggested.  
'Okay! I have a Go client in the morning, but I should be free after 1pm. We could meet here, if you like.' Hikaru sounded happy again.  
'I'll see what I can do,' Sai said. He would have to get a ride and his best option for that was Ogata, again. The thought made Sai feel even more worried than before; what if the man, after having had so much thinking time, had changed his mind about him staying over?  
'Okay!' Hikaru chimed, but then continued in a whisper, /'If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, call me, day or night.'/  
'Thank you, Hikaru.' Sai said with heartfelt sincerity, and gave a slight bow. That was indeed a comforting thought; he had two friends now, and Hikaru had assured him he could call on him if he needed him. Of course the boy was too young to be anything but supportive to the blind man. Sai didn't for a moment think the boy's parents would let the likes of him stay in Hiraru's room, so if things went wrong with Ogata, Sai still would have to go back to the shelter. But it gave Sai a warm feeling that he now had another person that cared enough about him to offer help in need. He only felt slightly miserable that he had nothing but an ability to play a game well, as payment for both his friends' generosity. And he felt a lot more miserable that he could only pay Ogata back in subterfuge and evasions. He had the sick feeling it was not going to work this way between them, a feeling made worse by Ogata's continued silence. For Sai knew he was still there, still smoking, but the man hadn't even sat down in all that time, and the blind man wondered what that might mean.

'Bye all!' Hikaru proclaimed as he moved toward the door.  
After the happy-noisy-bouncy boy, his only friend from before, had left, a silence fell. Sai tried to find something to say that would not be awkward. He settled for a very safe subject.  
'Do you want to play now, Ogata-san?' Sai didn't have to fake being enthusiastic about the suggestion; he really wanted to play the silent man.  
Ogata took his time answering and Sai was just starting to worry that he would be turned down flat, when an answer came.  
'Yes, I do, but not here.' The man's voice was neutral so Sai could not gauge his mood from it.  
'I want dinner first. Let's go home.' Ogata said, his tone again reveling nothing. It was the not knowing that started to twist Sai's insides into knots, and he was starting to doubt he would be able to eat much.

'Oh, okay.' Sai said, got up and unfolded his cane.  
In Touya's direction he said, 'I hope to play you again, Touya-kun.'  
'As do I,' was the polite response. Then a card was touched to the fingers of his left hand.  
'My card, Sai-san.'  
Sai dropped his fully extended cane, letting it balance oddly from the strap on his wrist, its point being held in place by the friction of the carpet, and took the card from his left hand. It was a thick card with a matte finish with no tangible embossing, so he marked it the same as he had Hikaru's. The difference in finish would tell him which was which when he needed to know. He slipped into the left outer pocket of his bag with the others. He'd have to get someone to read it to him later.

'Thank you,' he gave a small bow in gratitude. He amended his earlier thought from 'two' to 'three' friends.  
'Are you coming?' came the gruff remark from near where Sai knew the main door should be.  
'Yes!' Sai said and quickly made his way forward, tapping his cane in an arch before him, making as much haste as his condition allowed.

oOOo

When they got to Ogata's place after a near silent ride, the older man bade Sai sit while he ordered dinner ('sandwiches okay?'). For himself Ogata ordered a curry hamburger. Sai was grateful for the choice of cold food, as he was unsure he'd be able to swallow anything at this point.

While they waited for dinner to arrive, Sai sat on the couch, wondering again if everything was okay between them, while Ogata moved about, making all kinds of noises, like moving things and slamming stuff about, interjected with occasional muttering, most of which Sai could not hear clearly enough to understand. 'Stupid fish, always hungry,' was the only thing he did catch, when the man stood still near the enormous cold glass box Sai had felt when he had walked around the apartment yesterday.

Sai sat with his hands in his lap, his right palm almost compulsively gliding over the cast on his left wrist, over and back, over and back, while he contemplated his situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The very first thing Sai remembered after having been in the accident was a total absence of structure of time and space. He just floated in a dark place, that alternately worried and frightened him with its emptiness. Later he had been told that he had been sedated for a while following his accident and during the treatment of his broken clavicle. Soon after, his sedation was increased and prolonged because he had apparently tried to smash the plaster cast off his shoulder and run out of the hospital. Sai remembered nothing of this.

As time wore on and his injuries healed up nicely, sedation was decreased and the hospital staff was rather surprised that the young man, who they had thought was a mental case, turned out to be perfectly normal, if a little confused. The doctors quickly found the dual cause of Sai's confusion; his apparent amnesia and his very real blindness. They quickly concluded there was nothing they could do about the blindness. They tried treating the amnesia, but none of the therapies available did any good. This left them and Sai with a big problem; he could remember neither his name nor his family and when after trying the missing persons listings and finding nothing, the hospital staff had to conclude that Sai was all alone.

At that point Sai was soon to be released from the plaster cast, leaving the problem of who was to care for him, long term. Now if Sai had been a true mental case, he could have stayed at the hospital's mental ward indefinitely, but being sane but merely blind, he would have to be sent home. The only problem was he had no home to go to.

Sai had despaired at his situation; he was all alone in the dark, with no prospects. It wasn't until much later that he realized that what frightened him the worst in those early days was the constant, stifling darkness that never left him. It gave him horrid nightmares, of which by day he only remembered the soul crushing dread he must have experienced during the night. The dreams had lessened over time but they never went quite away.

They did their best at the hospital for him; someone came and taught him the basics about getting about with the folding cane they gave him. They gave him a name and a special issue ID. They got him a medical bracelet and a special watch he could read with his fingers. Then they had to teach him how to read time, because it became apparent Sai wasn't too familiar with the concept of clocks.  
Their best took Sai as far as the Men's Homeless Shelter on Harbor Street, but it left him there to fend for himself, in his hand-me-down T-shirt, trousers and sandals.

xXXx

He was dumped there one Sunday morning and promptly was the subject of an argument between the Shelter's manager Mr. Uwayaku and the medic from the ambulance.

Sai just stood by as each man tried to dump this bothersome blind man on the other. He tried to keep as still and as small as possible, hoping against hope that he would wake up from this nightmare soon. But such salvation was not to be.

Mr. Uwayaku explained to the medic that no-one, except staff (most of whom would be sleeping), was allowed to stay inside the shelter in the day time; Sai could not stay there, right then. The man had to explain it 5 times but still to no avail; the medic left, leaving a bewildered Sai behind.

Mr. Uwayaku let Sai stay in the office, locking him in for the 4 hours the man slept himself. He was not to touch anything on pain of death. The entire time Sai sat in the visitor's chair with his arms wrapped around himself trying not to move or even breathe. He couldn't stop himself from crying, as hard as he tried.

Sai's situation had looked bleak in the extreme; if he was not allowed to stay in this strange new place, where was he to go? The nice people at the hospital had done their best to find his family, and when that failed, they had done their utmost to find him a place that would take him. It was Sai's misfortune that he was 'only' blind, on the one hand making him unable to take part in society without help, but on the other not anywhere near needy enough that he could go to a care home at the state's expense.

And if they wouldn't take him here, he'd be out there all alone, lost in the dark, a fate he dreaded over anything else.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

As he sat on Ogata's nice soft couch, listening to Ogata putter around the place, he hoped he that the fact that the titleholder had actually brought him here was some indication that not all was ruined between them. And that maybe he would not lose a friend today.

oOOo

Author's comment:

I'm very glad to get some reviews! I always read and answer anyone who reviews. Please remember it's the only way I can see if people like the story and if it's worth sticking with it. So please please review!

## *Chapter 3*: Chapter 3

_(For some reason FF wouldn't let me upload last night, so this is a little late, sorry. I will up another chapter tonight, if FF behaves...)_

Chapter 3

At last Ogata seemed to have finished whatever it was he had been doing, and he flopped down of the leather chair across from Sai. He audibly exhaled, the relaxed casual sound reassuring Sai a little. 'Is everything okay?' Sai tentatively asked, deliberately not adding 'between us' in case the other man didn't want to talk about that.  
'What? Oh, yes, I was just making some room for you.' 'For me?'  
'Yes, I cleared out some of the cubby-holes on the left side of the front door, on the right when you come in, so you can put your shoes and whatever else you like in there. I'll clear a drawer in the bedroom for you later.'  
Sai sat stunned. Never had he had had a place to put his possessions. He gulped.  
'Thank you.' He sounded unbelieving to his own ears. It then occurred to him that that meant Ogata was going to let him stay on a more permanent basis.  
'Thank you!' he repeated with more enthusiasm, having just realized that this meant everything was just fine between them, smiling broadly. The joy and sheer relief raced through his body, making his breath gulp and his hands tingle. Sai was about to thank the man again when the doorbell went, breaking the moment. Ogata got up and moved to the door to accept their dinner order.

Over dinner they talked about Touya and Hikaru and their styles of Go. Sai knew he was talking too animatedly, but he was so elated he just couldn't simmer down. He wanted to know what Ogata thought of Hikaru's style. Ogata admitted that he had not seriously played Hikaru yet, as Hikaru was still a lower dan, so he had never had cause to play him officially, and had only seen him play others so far.  
Ogata was very interested in Hikaru; the boy had some brilliant techniques. Some were very old in style, not un-reminiscent of Shuusaku's style. Some were downright novel, never seen before. Ogata had also noticed, as Sai had, that Hikaru could look deeply into a game, very deeply sometimes. Ogata concluded that Hikaru was one he would keep a close eye one.  
Sai swelled with pride for his prot g , at Ogata's assessment, while he ate all five sandwiches he had been served. With the relief he felt earlier, his appetite had returned with gusto, and the sandwiches made a good start to filling his stomach.  
Ogata ate his dinner, which smelled delicious to the blind man. Sai said so, after his last sandwich was gone.  
'Are you still hungry, after all that?' Ogata asked, not unkindly.  
'Uh, well, yes,' Sai stammered, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Hunger had been a constant companion, since he'd moved to the shelter, he could count the times he had had a full belly on one hand. But his pride wouldn't let himself ask for more, and thanks to the pro player's generosity he didn't have to. 'Well, they gave me an extra bowl of sauce and pickles, shall I make you up some crackers?'  
'Yes please.' Sai was quick to accept, telling his pride firmly that he hadn't actually asked.

xXXx

Before the game Ogata said he had to give his mail a quick sort through. He did so as Sai sat back enjoying a cup of green tea. With his belly pleasantly full and the cup warming his fingers, the blind man basked in the quiet, looking forward to a good game of Go with a good and generous friend. Presently Ogata cussed, causing Sai almost to spill his tea, his happy mood instantly transforming into worry. It wasn't his fault, was it? All he had done was sit still and sip tea, so he couldn't imagine what it could be. Unless... Sai swallowed. Unless the pro-player had served him a big generous dinner as a consolation prize before sending the blind man back to the shelter for the night and maybe boot him out of his life permanently?  
'Problem?' Sai asked, trying to sound calm.  
'Yeah, I forgot to pick up that book that I ordered months ago, again!' There was the sound of papers being shuffled. Sai slowly blew out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Ogata hadn't been upset with him after all.  
'And I won't be able to get it tomorrow morning either, as I have a client. If I don't pick it up right away I will forget about it again. It's a good thing I paid for the damn thing already or the bookstore will black list me if I keep doing this.' Ogata sighed.  
Sai pondered the mundane problem, his relief still zinging through his veins, as Ogata finished up the paper work and moved to the leather chair he seemed to prefer. The leather creaked as he sat down.  
'This bookstore, is it far away?' Sai asked, an idea forming in his head.  
'Not far, 'bout five blocks up.' Ogata sipped his tea audibly, sounding distracted.  
'Is it hard to find?' Sai asked.  
'Really easy I should think, it's in a shopping mall on this street. Why do you ask?' Ogata's chair creaked again as he shifted forward in it, his words holding a tinge of idle curiosity.  
'Well..., I was thinking, if it has been paid for already, how about I go pick it up while you are with your client, tomorrow morning? And maybe we could go the Go club afterwards?' Sai suggested tentatively.  
Ogata was silent again and Sai brought up his fist wrapped in his sleeve to his mouth. Had he over stepped the bounds of propriety? Basically he was butting into Ogata's private business here...

'Why would you want to?' Ogata finally asked, his voice carrying puzzlement.  
Oh well, that was a fair question Sai supposed.  
'I like to explore,' Sai explained, 'And as you say you are busy tomorrow morning, I would like to explore around here for a bit. Collecting that book for you seems the perfect excuse to explore this street.' Sai held his breath in the silence they followed.  
'But how would you find your way; you've never been here before?' Ogata sounded bewildered.  
Sai smiled, he knew it was a little vain of him but he wanted to boast about his travels, and this seemed the best opportunity for it.  
'Ogata-san, the Go club I met Kawai-san at is two hours walk from the shelter,' Sai tried not to shudder as he thought of that place, 'I found that all by myself, and believe me, it's not situated in a straight line from the shelter!'

Ogata was silent again. Then he spoke slowly as though he was speaking before he was quite ready, still thinking out what he wanted to say.  
'Look I appreciate that you know your way around your own neighborhood, but we're in a totally different part of Tokyo here. I don't think you wandering around unattended here is such a good idea. The dangers of being on strange streets while blind...'  
'I'd not be wondering around,' Sai interrupted him, starting to fear that not only would the other man say 'no' to this little outing, but also not let him go anywhere on his own, while being Ogata's guest. 'You said it was pretty straight forward to find. If you point me in the right direction, I'll be just fine.' When there was no answer, Sai added, 'please?'  
Ogata was silent again, making the blind man's heart beat loudly in his chest.

'I don't know...' the titleholder said after a while. 'How about I take you to the mall after I've dealt with my client?' he offered. The blind man felt the disappointment lace through him; if there was no Go to be played tomorrow morning, he had wanted to go out exploring, the existence of the book and the mall were mere convenient excuses. And what else was he going to do all morning? He asked the Go pro exactly that, cringing a little at the whinny tone in his own voice. Ogata did not strike Sai as being a person who appreciated whining.  
'Why, you can stay here, I'll be back by 2. If I lock the door, you should be safe enough...' The man fell silent, when the former ghost could not keep his face as impassive as he would have liked. Sai knew his face betrayed his every emotion, and right now he was hurt. 'Uhm, maybe not...' Ogata trailed off again.  
'Please?' the blind man tried again. He knew he was getting very close to real begging, but the thought of being locked in actually frightened him.  
'It's not far, I won't get lost, I promise,' he added.

Then Ogata got up, walked to where Sai knew was a book case, came back and started unfolding a piece of paper. A very big piece of paper, by the sound of it.  
He put it on the coffee table, the edges touching Sai's legs, and the paper crackled as if he was trying to smooth out the creases.

'What's that?' Sai asked as he fingered a point of the giant sheet.  
'A map of Tokyo,' Ogata informed him.  
The point of the map slipped out of Sai's fingers as Ogata rotated it on the table. He smoothed the paper some more.  
After a while Ogata said, 'We are here.' Ogata probably pointed on the map, which meant nothing to Sai.  
'The mall is here.'  
Sai remained silent, not feeling he had been addressed.  
'Hmm, as you leave the main entrance of this building, you turn left and you should stay on this side of the street.' Ogata's voice was contemplative, sounding very much the teacher.  
As a reflex Sai started to visualize the instructions in his head. He created a sketchy map of it and would fill in the details later.  
At the same time he realized that Ogata was showing him the way to the mall and that meant he was letting him explore tomorrow, didn't it? Sai's heart leapt for joy. 'The mall is at a small square with a fountain on it. You should be able to hear that from across the roadside.'  
Sai nodded, noting the added information, not daring to interrupt the man with over exuberant thank-yous lest he change his mind. /Ogata was going to let him go!/ he thought over and over.  
'The fountain is on the other side of the street, stay on this side and the main doors to the mall are right across from the fountain.' Ogata paused. 'I remember the bookstore being one of the first stores on the left hand side as you come in. It's called Sakura Books*. Be careful inside the mall; the place is full of pillars.' Ogata stopped here, then started again, 'There are several street crossing between here and there, shall I describe them?' Any and all information was welcome to the blind man; after all this really was a new and unknown area to him.  
'Yes please,' Sai nodded.  
Ogata did so, going in detail about side streets and crossings, which was all useful information and was carefully added to the sketchy map in the blind man's head. All in all it sounded like a doable trip.

Ogata got up again, retrieved something and sat down again. Another card appeared in Sai's hand.  
'My card. It has my phone and address.'  
It felt exactly the same as Touya's, probably made by the same company, so Sai marked it differently with 2 nail scratches and a differently folded corner. He'd treasure it as he did the others, the contact information not being the only thing of worth in them. It was also that each had been a gift from a friend. From his first friends. He hoped to have many more and maybe if he could keep going to the Go salon Ogata and Touya frequented, he'd meet a lot more good Go players and make more friends. Oh yes, playing great Go with good friends, it would feel like heaven.

He asked Ogata to read the card out to him. He did so. Sai then produced Touya's card and asked the titleholder to read that too. Ogata complied.  
'Sai-san, can you remember all these addresses and numbers? And the directions to the mall? I can go over them again if I need to...' Ogata hastily added.  
'Don't worry, I can remember it all.' Sai assured him.  
'No offense, but are you sure?' It was mildly annoying that Ogata kept asking that but Sai could understand Ogata's concern. To assuage it, Sai repeated in total, the directions to the mall verbatim, and the all addresses and phone numbers. He however, neglected to repeat Hikaru's.

xXXx

It wasn't until 10:30 that they were ready to play, after Sai had asked if he could call the shelter, to let them know he would not be needing a bed for the night. The resulting game certainly wasn't the best of the 3 games Sai had played against Ogata so far; Sai was tired and his game suffered a little under his fatigue. Still he managed to scrape a narrow 1 /moku/ win. After the game Ogata must have noticed that Sai's eyes kept falling shut even though the blind man did his best to give the titleholder a worthy post game discussion, because he ended the discussion fairly quickly and called it a night.

Getting to bed still took some organizing as Sai had slept in Ogata's bathrobe on the couch the night before, and the proper bed had yet to be set up. This time Ogata insisted that he sleep on a futon in the bedroom, like Ogata did. And that he dressed the part. Of course Sai had no night attire, usually sleeping fully clothed in the shelter for warmth and safety, so Ogata lent him a set of pajamas, into which Sai changed in the bathroom.

Sai thought about putting his bag in the cubby-hole that Ogata had cleared for him, but instinct stopped him. He supposed he was just too used to have everything he owned on him at all times, that the thought of his things being that far out of reach was unsettling. He did move his sandals, which he taken off upon entering the flat, as per Japanese custom, from the floor into the lower of the three cubbies. It was the best he could do for now.  
He put his bag under his pillow, as he had done every night for over a year, on the advice of Kuma that first night in the shelter. It was good advice, because his stuff was never stolen from there.

As he lay on the futon he thought about his day. This morning he had been an amnesiac blind man with one friend (two if you counted Touya) and a burning passion for Go, but without answers. Now he knew some answers, answers that evoked more complicated questions, to be sure, but answers none-the-less. And he had regained a real friend.  
Even though Ogata and Hikaru didn't get along very well; they had almost been hostile to each other, Sai hoped things could be worked out. The fact that Ogata seemed to have accepted Sai s explanation with a minimum of fuss gave him such hope.  
Sai found that the list of things he wished for most in his life had grown longer with meeting all these new people. There used to be 'family found' and 'belly filled' as the only two items on it. Now he had food enough, a place to stay and three fine friends to play, and the only things he wished for were more friends and playing loads more of challenging Go. And he started to feel that these longings were reasonable and could actually happen, and were not a pipe dream any more. With that thought, Sai closed his eyes and rolled over, feeling himself sink away into lalaland. oOOo

Author s notes:  
*I made up Sakura Books. And the mall, and the square, and the fountain. And Ogata s street. And well, you get the picture.  
Don t forget to REVIEW!

## *Chapter 4*: Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

A loud ringing disturbed Sai's sleep, forcing his brain awake, then it abruptly stopped. Ogata grumbled and cussed, turning noisily on the next futon to Sai's right.  
'Is it morning?' Sai asked, grandly yawning.  
'Yeah, 7:45,' Ogata yawned, rolling over and then getting up. Sai flopped back down, tugging the soft comforter under his chin, hunkering down in the bedding.

'C'mon lazy head, I thought you were more chipper in the morning than this!' Ogata groused, but still sounding fitter than Sai felt right at that instance. Sai groaned and pulled the comforter over his head.  
'Suit yourself, if you're not ready to go out by the time I am, I'm locking you in the house,' Ogata said as he moved into the living room.  
The very thought of possibly being locked in was enough to get Sai up.

He took time for a quick shower after Ogata helped him wrap a plastic bag around his cast and tape it off, as he had done the day before. He decided to forgo washing his hair, so Ogata lent him a bath cap, to keep it dry.  
Breakfast was the same as yesterday's; sandwiches, though there were a different type than the ones he had had for dinner the night before.

~~~~~~~~~~~  
When Mr. Uwayaku unlocked the door, some hours after Sai had been left at the shelter that first day, he sounded much calmer. He made coffee and gave Sai some, who promptly burned his mouth on the strange scolding liquid. For all the friendly gesture that the offer of the beverage had been, that fact that Sai didn't even know how to drink it, made him despair. How was he going to cope, even if he were to stay here? What would he do? Sit in on a bed all day, in the dark like he had in the hospital? What kind of life was that?

Meanwhile Mr. Uwayaku had started making phone calls, dozens of them. The only thing that Sai understood was that all the calls were about him. He could understand the tones of the call; Mr. Uwayaku argued with someone, then with another he pleaded, yet another he put firmly in their place. But the actual contents of the calls were like gibberish to him, meaningless. The argument in one call ran particularly heated and Sai felt sure he was going to be sent away, at that point. But then the tone changed, leaving the blind man once again in limbo about his future here.

Sai was getting so tense with the insecurity that his hands started to really hurt from all the wringing he had done while keeping them in his lap, ever since he'd been ordered to sit down, hours ago. His thoughts only seemed to be one repeated word, 'Please.' Sai didn't even know what he was pleading for. For the hospital to take him back? (Even though he knew that was not possible) For Mr. Uwayaku to let him stay? (Even if he didn't know what staying would entail)  
It didn't even occur to him to plead for a return of his sight; the dark, though frightening still, was a part of him now, and he could not imagine himself different anymore.

In the end Mr. Uwayaku explained that yes Sai could stay. Sai almost sagged in relief. Than a new worry started as the shelter manger explained that in the daytime Sai would have to stay outside. He also pointed out it wasn't wise for Sai to hang around the shelter when it was closed. So what was Sai supposed to do? To help the blind man to get to a safer neighborhood in the daytime, the man had found a sociology student who would teach him over the next few days to get around.

Mr. Uwayaku then took Sai to a small room that turned out to be some sort of supply cupboard. There he sorted out a change of clothes, some sandals, some underwear, all old clothing, and a sturdy waterproof canvas bag to keep it all in for Sai. It was still early autumn so he didn't need any winter clothes just yet. Sai just stood there accepting each item as it was given to him, listening to the constant stream of advice and warnings that the shelter manger imparted on him. As the words did not seem to refer to anything that Sai was familiar with, he just memorized each word and hoped it would come in helpful at some point. The only thing he did understand was the no fighting rule. It worried him there was need for such a rule. There hadn't been so many rules at the hospital; this place must be very different, Sai feared. He wondered if he could adapt to living here.

Mr. Uwayaku ended with spewing a list of times when incomprehensible things would happen throughout the day at the shelter. Sai noted those in particular. That was all the time Mr. Uwayaku could spare the blind man, as Sai quickly found when he was ordered to again sit in the visitor's chair (Mr. Uwayaku apparently did not want Sai wandering about the shelter). Sai sat as still as he could while listening to Mr. Uwayaku make many more calls, most to do with food and fund raising, and sorting out paperwork.

Sai felt utterly useless, bewildered and confused. He was wondering about what was out there and if the 'sociology student' could help him to get about. He wondered about where he was to go inside the shelter, who he would meet and would they be nice? The staff at the hospital had been nice, but they had always been in too much of a hurry to give him much time. The other patients had not been so nice. He had been teased about his amnesia and his blindness and hadn't been able make any friends.  
Sai hoped he'd do better here.

That evening he had the chance to interact with the other homeless men in the 'chow line'. He tried to talk to the person before him and then the one behind him, but neither would talk back, the one behind giving him a not so gentle push when Sai didn't move fast enough for his taste. The blind man gave up on these two, hanging his head and keeping small. /'Blind idiot,'/ was whispered somewhere behind him.

When his turn came he was given a warm bowl that smelled of rice and vegetables but before he had found a seat someone had snatched it out of his hand, leaving him with nothing. Sai stood with his hand still out for a moment in stumped silence, when he was shoved from behind, almost sending him to the floor. Something unkind was whispered to the side of him, and Sai moved away from the sound blindly, tripping several times before finding a wall to lean against.  
His stomach complained of emptiness, and all he could think was 'God, get me out of here!' as he sat on the floor.

~(0)~

Later that night he was shown to his bed by Kuma, one of the shelter's staff, who gave him the advice to put his sandals in his bag and the bag under his head when he went to bed. Sai thought briefly about telling Kuma about what had happened to him in the chow line, but he was very worried that if he made a fuss, about anything, Mr. Uwayaku would not let him stay anymore, and even though this place was starting to look more and more like hell, there was just nowhere else to go.

It took a long time to fall asleep that night; the place was filled with different sounds than he had been used to at the hospital and his belly was quite empty. But the bed was not too bad and he had a warm blanket and a lumpy pillow, so finally he did sleep.

The next morning Kuma woke him and showed him where he could wash before breakfast. Mr. Uwayaku had decided it was better if Sai washed in the separate staff wash & shower room, something for which Sai was immensely grateful, as he had been pushed and shoved and tripped and pulled by the hair (Kuma suggested keeping his braid under his shirt) enough at dinner time to realize bathing with these people was going to be next to impossible.

He was not the only homeless person to get the privilege, the other was also young and so soft-spoken Sai had thought it was a woman at first, but 'she' turned out the be a 'transvestite', which 'she' explained as a man who is more comfortable to be dressed as a woman and behave as such. 'She' was very envious of Sai's hair, in fact all she did when she talked to Sai was to talk about hair care and clothing and what utter beasts men were. All it did was confuse Sai further, and he never knew what to say to her.

At the breakfast chow line, Sai managed to hold on to his bowl long enough to drink half of the soup before it was stolen from him. By now he was very hungry indeed and ready to cry again.  
Kuma came to pick him up to go to the office where Mr. Uwayaku waited with the student, named Miss Kaori, who was to help him get around.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before they set off for the day, Ogata made Sai repeat the instructions and the phone numbers again. Sai complied, trying not to roll his eyes.  
'Don't call unless it's an emergency; today I'm at one my oldest client's house, who is very old-fashioned and doesn't like phones.' Ogata lectured.  
Sai nodded.  
'I should be back here around two.'  
Sai nodded again.  
'Oh, and you'll need some money if you're going to a mall.' Ogata started rattling with coins. 'Here's some,' he put a bunch of coins and paper in Sai's hand.

'Ogata-san, I can't take your money!' Sai exclaimed and tried to give the handful back to him.  
'I owe you more than this from the bet,' Ogata reminded him, giving Sai's out stretched hand a gentle push.  
'But the hospital bill from yesterday?'  
'Hasn't come in yet,' Ogata finished off Sai's phrase.  
'Anyway, I doubt it will be the full Y50,000. So how's about we reserve Y20,000 for the bill, and call what you have there a start for the rest.' Ogata folded Sai's hand closed over the money. 'I need to hit up a money machine later,' Ogata mused as he turned away from Sai to put on his shoes.

Sai stood a moment longer then came back to himself. He fingered the money, one bill of Y10,000,one of Y2,000, and some coins totaling Y150.

He was touched again by the pro player's generosity, but he was still ambivalent about this money. It had been Kawai that had made the bet and put up his cab as a pledge to it; had Sai lost, the cabby would have lost his only means of employment. By rights the Y50,000 was Kawai's, even if the man had run off on him, and spending it felt wrong to the blind man. He resolved not to spend much of it and give the cabby the rest if and when he saw him again.

He put the coins into the right outer pocket of his bag and the paper money into the pocket with the business cards, pushing the bigger bill all the way to the bottom for safekeeping.

oOOo

Ogata had set Sai walking in the right direction, again asking if he was sure he could find the way, before driving off to this morning's client. Sai started walking, counting his steps without having to consciously think about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After that first horrid night in the shelter, Sai met the student who was going to help him get around. Miss Kaori was, hopefully, going to teach him how to get away from the shelter during the day time.

Standing with her outside of the shelter's door that morning Sai found out three things, one, Sai had a near flawless sense of direction, two, that that is not a normal trait, and three, that Miss Kaori had been given this assignment as a make-up test by her professor (who owed Mr. Uwayaku a favor, apparently) and if she didn't succeed she'd have redo the year. Miss Kaori was not happy about it and Sai promptly learned a fourth thing; she could cuss like a fishwife.

But unwilling or not over the next three days (that's how much time she had been given) Miss Kaori helped him to walk as far as Trade square*, and back and then again and again until he could walk the route blindly and by himself.

That very first day had been hardest; they had taken 3 hours over the outward stretch that would later take him only 20 minutes. Miss Kaori grudgingly shared her homemade sandwiches with him when they reached Trade sq. around noon; maybe she just felt sorry for him. It rankled Sai's pride that he needed the food, but he ate it all the same, alleviating his nagging hunger some.

The way back only took only an hour and a half, leaving them just enough time to go up and down again before Sai had to be back by dinner.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sai let the memories wash over him as he explored his new path. Miss Kaori had not been a skilled teacher nor had she ever worked with a blind person before. So it had fallen to Sai himself to figure out the best way for him to navigate, while Miss Kaori made sure they stayed on their chosen path. His time with her had been invaluable, for now he had the skills to go anywhere he liked and find his way back when he wanted to.

xXXx

Author's note:

*I made up Trade square. Big surprise there.

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 5*: Chapter 5

_(one of my reviewers asked me to show down the posting rate, unless some one objects I'm going to up every second day instead of every day)_

Chapter 5

The way to the mall was relatively easy; Ogata's instructions gleaned from the map were very helpful. All Sai had to do was add in the details, like how many measured steps it was from the beginning of one block to the end of it, how many across was the road he had to cross, was there a traffic light, or none, or one with a clicker system.

Sai would also note where the pavement was broken or where potholes were, where there was a fence or a wall or bushes beside the road or where any streetlights or other poles were. Or a dustbin collection point or a phone booth.

Sai particularly noted the phone booths, for now he had people he could call!

There was the ever polite Touya, who could play a solid game of Go, and who'd go far. There could be so many brilliant games between them, Sai felt sure. Then there was the generous Ogata, the Go master, who was silent and unfathomable. Sai longed to understand him (and play him, oh yes!) And lastly there was Hikaru, the close friend whose friendship he could not remember. Sai wanted to rediscover that friendship at least as much as he want to play the boy again. And play all his new friends again, and again!

Just to enjoy the fact that he had friends, he recited his new friends numbers in his head, every time he encountered a phone booth (there were two) and for the heck of it, he also ran the numbers through his mind at every intersection (of which there were seven).

oOOo

30 minutes' steady walking (for Sai; he did realize he walked slower than most, unless he was familiar with the area) brought him to the square with the fountain. He walked far enough onto the square that the sound of the falling water was in his left ear only. He then spun exactly 90° to his right and tapped his way towards where he knew the shopping mall would be.

He could feel the big structure by the wind playing around it and he heard the sound of the fountain reflected by its glass front; there was nothing quite as conducive to creating echoes as a pane glass wall.

The sliding doors whooshed open as Sai approached it, and Sai forced himself to walk on a little faster lest he be caught by the doors closing again. Inside, the atmosphere was quite different from outside, the air-conditioning was on at full blast and the quality of the echoes of people going about their shopping let Sai know he was in a very tall inner courtyard. He heard the faint rumbling of escalators and soft music flowed over him. He deduced that this was the most modern and uptown mall he had ever been in. He suddenly felt underdressed and dirty. But he reflected, in for a penny, in for a pound, he had after all promised to pick up Ogata's book.

Sai started forward slowly, remembering Ogata's warning about pillars. Also remembering that the bookshop was on the left he started heading left. Circumnavigating a pillar, he came to a glass wall, probably a shop window. He followed it further into the mall hoping to find a door somewhere. He ran into a metal construction on wheels before he found a door. He carefully touched it, to determine what it was. It held books at the top and newspapers at the bottom, Sai now felt confident he had found the book store.

As he carefully moved around the book & newspaper display he tried to find the wall again, holding out his hand. As his hand moved beyond the point Sai would have expected the wall to have been and the music he had been hearing in the courtyard faded away, he realized he had found the store's entrance.

Stepping just inside the store Sai took in the new ambiance. There was the smell of things newly made, and where all sound in the courtyard had been shrill, here sounds were hushed, possibly by all the paper present, dampening the higher tones. Sai started moving, swinging his cane in a moderate arch, figuring that there would be plenty of book cases in the way. As the moved forward his cane hit something and curiosity drove Sai to investigate. It turned out not to be a book case but a table piled high with books in neat stacks of the same size and thickness per stack, the same book Sai would have guessed. Not all piles were equally high. He brushed his hand over the crisp covers, feeling embossing here and there. He briefly wondered what stories these tomes held, what truths, what fictions, what facts. For a moment a fierce longing ceased him, a hunger to know what was inside these books, a thirst for knowledge. He quickly quelled the longing; it was a miracle already that he, a blind man, could still play Go, asking for impossible things like the ability to read, seemed presumptuous and excessive.

Sai moved on but stopped to investigate another obstruction; this time it was a bookcase. He ran his hand along the spines of the books, occasionally running into a book that sat with its front cover facing the buyers, instead of its spine.  
For a moment an image came to his mind of another bookstore, it was gone again instantly, like all the flashes he had seen when Hikaru had spoken of their past together. He _had_ been to a bookstore with his young friend, he was sure. Sai noted to himself to ask Hikaru about it next time they were alone.

'May I help you, sir?' came from the right of the bookcase he had been facing, momentarily startling him, causing him to swing his cane around which in turn rattled noisily against the bottom of the book case as it was forced around.  
'Oh!' the man exclaimed before Sai could say anything. 'You are Mr. Ogata's friend; he said you would be by.' The man sounded very friendly.

Ogata had let the man know he was coming? Sai wasn't sure he liked that fact; was the man being a gracious host, making sure his guest was safe, or was he merely checking up on Sai, like he was a child that might easily go astray?  
'Ogata-san let you know I was coming?' Sai was mortified to realize he had said his thought aloud, when the man responded to the question.  
'Oh yes,' the man said, not seeming to notice any impropriety, 'though he did say to expect you at 10...'  
Sai smiled at the thought of Ogata underestimating Sai's navigational ability yet again. Ogata probably meant no harm.  
'I think I walked a little faster than expected.' Sai said.

'I'm Fujiwara Sai,' As he bowed Sai almost lost his breath as he said it; his name, his very own name! It was so new and wonderful to know it, even if the knowledge was only 16 hours old, not even a full day! Sai couldn't help smiling.  
'Noburu,' the man introduced himself, 'I'm the owner here. Ogata-sensei is a valued customer.' After a moment he continued, 'Would you come to the counter with me? I have the sensei's order ready over there.'  
Sai nodded and the owner started moving off very slowly, giving Sai the time to follow him easily.

Sai swung his cane in lazy arcs, circumventing 3 more obstacles. Without exploring further he noted them down as probably one table and two bookcases, on the internal map he had started for the mall. This map was connected to the map he had started this morning by the front sliding doors unto the square. Sai hoped he would get time to expand this part of his Tokyo map as much as he had the harbor area.

Suddenly Mr. Noburu's footfalls speeded up, indicating to Sai they were probably nearing the counter; he kept going at the pace he had been in the direction he had been. Noburu's footsteps moved off to Sai's left for a bit only to come back to in front of him just as his cane hit a wooden panel. There he stopped.  
'You can come forward two more steps, Fujiwara-san,' Noburu said. Sai did so, folding up his cane and resting his right hand on the thickly varnished counter top. It felt old and of quality.

A book slid over the counter and lightly nudged Sai's hand, which he moved to rest it on top of the glossy dust jacket.  
'This is it,' Noburu announced.  
Sai let him hand glide over and around it.

The book had hard covers under the dust jacket with a very neatly pre-creased spine, incased in a cloth protection. Sai opened the book, its pages pushing into an arch, showing their stiff newness. He let his hand glide over the glossy pages, sliding them through his fingers.  
'What is it about?' Sai asked.  
'Small tropical fish of the Great Barrier Reef,' Noburu supplied.  
'Ah yes, Ogata-san likes fish,' Sai said, thinking of the man's fish tank. He closed the book reluctantly, wanting to ask but not really daring. Noburu, seemed to catch his reluctance and prompted him, 'yes?'  
'Uhm, could you describe the book to me, please?' Sai asked very tentatively.  
'Certainly,' Noburu said sliding it around, out from under Sai's hand, and opening it diffidently.

'It has pictures of all kinds of brightly colored fish, swimming in an aquamarine environment on every page.' he flipped over a few pages, 'There's a short description of each species as well. They are fairly succinct. Shall I read one? The store is quiet enough.' the bookstore owner offered.  
'Oh yes, please' Sai nodded eagerly.

While the owner read aloud about mating grounds and gulf streams, plankton and the significance of striping on fins, Sai slowly saw an image come up in his mind of small orange and yellow fish swimming in a sea of blue. This image was not like the memory flashes he had had when Hikaru had spoken the day before; they were much less vibrant and far less detailed. Sai reckoned they were just his imagination providing an image appropriate to the text being read. No matter where it had come from, he was mesmerized by the image anyway. The image faded out as the man stopped talking.

'Thank you so much, I very much enjoyed that,' Sai chimed, giving a small bow, grateful for the man's kind efforts.

As Noburu started doing something with the book and a big piece of paper, presumably wrap up the book for transportation, he said,  
'It was nothing, I like reading aloud.' He manipulated the book and the paper, utilizing sticky tape which he tore off a dispenser.  
'But don't you read?' he inquired.  
Read? Sai was nonplussed by the question; he was blind, how could he possibly read? He must have said that last part aloud, for the owner answered, 'Of course you can read, if you use Braille.'

/Braille?/ Sai had never heard of that. He said so, his heart fluttering in anticipation, even if Sai himself did not know what of.

'Well,' the man started his explanation, tearing more tape off the dispenser with a screeching noise, 'Instead of ink on paper, the paper is embossed with little dots in formations of six, like little bumps you can feel. These six can be either there or not, and depending on the formation, you have a /hiragana/ character, which you read with your fingertips instead of your eyes.'

Sai's fingertips tingled, itching to start reading as he listened with an open mouth. He couldn't quite picture it from the bookstore owner's explanation but just the thought he might be able to read! He had heard others talk about books; books with stories, books with facts. He had longed to read them, and with this /Braille/ he just might be able to do it!

'And so I could read? Real books?' he added just to make sure he had understood correctly.  
'Oh yes, and newspapers and magazines,' the man confirmed.  
Sai was fascinated.  
'So how do I learn this?' he asked the man excitedly.

Noburu, who had finished the parcel and had put it in a plastic bag, sliding it toward Sai, turned to his right and there was the sound of fingers on a keyboard, a sound that gave Sai a momentary flashback to listening to Mr. Uwayaku working in his office.

'Now let me see...' Noburu mumbled.  
Then came a twinkling click sound Sai also remembered and a picture flashed in his mind for a moment of a Go game displayed vertically on what he realized must have been computer a screen but oddly enough his impression was more of a magic window to a box with lots of opponents inside. The young boy, Hikaru, had been producing the twinkling click every time he had placed a stone with an invisible hand in the window. There was a feeling of profound happiness that came with the images. Sai hoped Hikaru might help him to play like that again. Yes, that might be something he could ask the boy's help with... though Sai couldn't quite shake the feeling it hadn't all been fun. Somehow things had gone wrong with the 'magic window'. He'd have to ask him about that too, when they met next time.

Sai was elated he'd had a memory return to him without Hikaru's prompting. The memory was a very vague and seemed ambiguous, but it was there and Sai was pretty sure it was genuine. He'd have to check with Hikaru.

'Ah here it is,' the bookstore owner said, dispelling Sai's thoughts.  
'"Two by Three, A beginner guide to Japanese Braille reading, with teacher notes for a sighted teacher, and 150 pages of Braille*", that sounds like the right one,' Noburu said. Sai wanted to 'see' it, needed to.  
'So you have it here?' he asked.  
'No,' Sai's heart sank, 'but I can order it, if it's in stock at the wholesaler. I should have it by Tuesday.'

Sai had no idea what a wholesaler was, but he wanted it badly enough to pursue it, so he ventured,  
'Uh, is it /in stock/?'  
'I'll look it up,' more clicking and typing followed, leaving Sai to wait anxiously for the verdict.  
Finally Noburu said, 'Yes it is. Shall I order it?'  
'Uh, how much does it cost?' Two clicks.  
'Y3,700.'  
/Ouch/, Sai thought.  
'Ordinarily I'd ask for payment beforehand but as you are Ogata-sensei's guest you can pay when it gets here,' the owner suggested.

That struck Sai as a bad idea; he owed the titleholder already for bed and board for the last few days, and probably for many days to come. Ogata's suggestion of paying in games aside, Sai did not feel he could leave a bill at Ogata's local bookstore if anything did go wrong with their arrangement between now and when the book would arrive on Tuesday.

Sai quickly recalculated his finances, he still has just over Y12,000 in his bag. That was more than he had even owned in his life (as far as he remembered). And Y3,700 would take a good chuck of that, but to be able to read, that was worth so much more! And it was only a third of all the money he had on him. He promised himself he'd pay Kawai back every yen.

'I'll pay for it now,' Sai said with determination. He fished into the bottom of the front pocket of his bag and brought out the Y10,000 note. He put it on top of the wrapped book, holding it lightly down with his fingers. There was more tapping on the keyboard and a few more clicks.

'All right, I've ordered it.' The bill was gently pulled from under Sai's hand and a cash register rang. The bookstore owner gave him his change and a piece of paper.  
'This is the receipt. It has the order number and the store's contact information on it. I put Mr. Ogata's address down as a contact for the store, is that acceptable?' Sai confirmed it was. He then asked the owner if he could read out the order number on the receipt and the store's address and phone, all of which Sai committed to memory as he put the paper safely in with all the other address cards he had collected.

Sai then tried to put the book in his bag. He was stuck with the cast on one hand and his cane in the other and he would not be able to carry the heavy plastic shopping bag as well, so it had to go in this shoulder bag. He pulled his canvas bag off his shoulder and put it on the counter top. He then tried again to put the book in the bag. But the book was heavy and fully as wide as his bag, and he couldn't grasp it with his left hand nor could he use that hand to hold open the bag as he manipulated the book with his right.

'Let me help you,' the owner said and pulled the book out of Sai's right hand and his bag away from his left. In a near panic Sai made a grab for his bag and he just managed to grasp the shoulder strap, as it slid across the counter. All he had in the world was in that bag, and while he did not think the owner would steal it, he was taking no chances. He held the strap firmly, and was very relieved when the owner said, 'There, all done,' and pushed his back at him across the counter. Sai quickly put the strap back over his head, adjusting the new weight. Well, it wasn't quite as heavy as that over ripe melon he had been given once, before being run off, nor was is likely to burst open at any moment, as the melon had!

Sai remembered that as having been one of the very few good days on the streets; he had had a full belly that day, even if all his clothing and himself had ended up horribly stick. Not that it had mattered too much, it had been the height of summer and had had a few coins for a launderette to fix the problem.

Sai unfolded his cane and bowed to the owner. 'Goodbye, thank you for your help,' he said politely.  
'Goodbye, don't forget that the book will come in on Tuesday, usually before 11am. I will call Mr. Ogata to let him know when it has arrived.' Noburu said.  
Sai, hoping that letting the bookseller call Ogata without asking permission first would be okay, thanked him again.

He was about to turn around when the owner asked, 'Where are you planning on going next?'  
Sai wondered why the man asked, but as he had been very helpful so far, Sai decided to answer truthfully,  
'Uhr, I was going to explore the shopping center, maybe find some sandwiches...?'  
'Ah, then if I may make a suggestion,' the man started. Sai nodded, puzzled.  
'You do not exactly look like a customer of this shopping center, if you'll pardon me saying.'

Sai felt his face heat up and his heart cease up. What the man meant was that Sai look raggedy, even if they were clean rags, thanks to Ogata's generosity. Sai couldn't find anything to say to refute the truth so he hung his head in shame.

'Maybe getting a new top might make things better,' the man said kindly. 'A friend of mine runs a men's clothing store here. I do believe I've seen Ogata-sensei with bags from there. How's about I take you over there and introduce you?'

Sai's head came up in surprise.  
'You'd do that for me?' he asked, kicking himself for questioning the man's generosity even as he said it.  
'But of course, you are a friend of a friend, and I hope you will be my friend too.' Sai was again surprised.

Honestly compelled him to say,  
'But you know what I look like and I'm sure you can guess what I am...'  
'All I can see is a nice young man who has been down on his luck but who has managed to make a friend of a man that I always thought was too self absorbed to make friends. Mr. Ogata was very anxious, when he called to let me know to look out for you, you know?'

Ogata had been worried for him? Sai wasn't quite sure what to make of that. On the one hand it was nice to have someone be concerned about him, on the other it felt very much like Ogata was checking up on him, like an over protective father. Sai hoped Ogata's 'concern' would not become a problem any time soon.

'I guess I didn't know that,' Sai stammered.  
'Well okay, let me call my assistant to take over here and I'll take you to Shitateya's,' the owner said.

xXXx

Author's note:

*I obviously didn't invent Braille, but I did make up that book.

Don't forget to review; I want to know if this story is worth perusing!  
edit: okay, is anybody, apart from Tsukiei waves, reading this at all?  
It doesn't have to be a long review or anything, just a quick 'I'm reading it' will do, you know?

## *Chapter 6*: Chapter 6

[edit: fixed a few small formatting issues, due to the new auto formatting of FF, I had to change the flashback in this chapter indicator to #*#*#*#. PM if you run into missing flashback indicators else where (they should be a line of "~" signs). I've done my best to get it right the but I may have missed one. enjoy your read!]

[Oh while I'm here: a big thanks to everybody who reviewed! 3 3 3 !]

Chapter 6

Shitateya's turned out to be on the second floor of the mall, which meant going up the escalators. This was Sai's second time on the self-moving stairs, and he was as nervous as he had been that time in the Metro, even with the social worker's help. Noburu at least didn't push or shove him about as the other man had, but then the mall wasn't anywhere near as busy as the Metro had been.

'Two more seconds,' Noburu warned a moment before Sai felt the angle of the stairs change and he only slightly tripped getting off. The other man grabbed him by his right arm to keep him up right.

'Thank you,' Sai said as he regained his footing and the bookseller let go of his arm.

Noburu walked next to Sai, occasionally correcting Sai's course verbally, while Sai swung his cane in front. Sai felt sure the owner walked in an almost straight line (avoiding the pillars) towards the store. That would not have been Sai's choice of method to use to find his way there, as he would have had to do it on directions only. Had he been on his own Sai would have stuck to using only 90° turns as the mall, like most manmade places, relied almost entirely on straight angles.

But this method got them to their destination just as well and Sai added the 67° angle left hand turn from the escalator and the course correction of 10° the other way (having moved past that pillar, that Sai's cane had never touched, but that Sai had calculated should have been there, just little out of his cane's range on the right.).

Sai resolved to explore properly later to verify his calculation, and even out the gird of pillars, so he could complete his map.

Noburu guided Sai through the door to the men's wear store. Inside it smelled of new clothing and again the higher pitched echoing sounds, which had dominated the mall's inner courtyard, were dulled by the multitude of items present.

The bookstore owner's footfalls, though stifled by the carpeting, were audibly moving forward. Sai followed, reducing the width of his still swinging cane's range. He could move considerably faster through the store following the man, because he knew that wherever Noburu went, there would be no obstructions in the way. And indeed, as he made his way, his cane only touched yielding material (clothing, he presumed) on his most left and right; the way ahead was totally open.

From in front a voice boomed, 'Noburu-san, how nice to see you! What can I do for you? You're too early for lunch, you know, silly! Oh my, what have we here?' This new man had a fairly high pitched voice and didn't seem to let anyone else get a word in before he continued, 'Oh, what lovely hair! You know I've always wanted long hair, but my wife just won't have it, says it's not manly enough, I ask you!'

The man reminded Sai of that woman that wasn't a woman from the shelter; he could never make head or tail of 'her' either.

'May I introduce my new friend, Fujiwara-san, who is also a friend of Ogata-sensei. I was hoping you could help him pick out a new top?' Noburu interrupted the tidal wave of words from the other man.

'Shitateya Nori, at your service,' the man introduced himself. 'I'm the proud owner of /Shitateya men's wear/.

Ah so, you are a friend of Ogata-san! He is a most valued customer! Such a fine looking gentleman, a perfect size 36-long. I haven't seen him a while, though, I do hope he is okay?' Shitateya paused here and Sai figured the man was actually interested in the answer to his question, so he proceeded to give him one.

'Pleased to meet you,' Sai bowed. 'Ogata-san is fine, I saw him this morning, but he's very busy, I think.' Sai didn't want to say any more, as he wasn't quite sure how close these 'friends' really were to the titleholder. But the men's store owner seemed be happy enough with Sai's answer because he said,

'Ah yes, he is such a successful man, always on the go. Being a professional game player is such an interesting job, I feel sure! Not that I know much about Go, I mean, let's face it, when my aunty tried to teach me I could hardly understand the rules, what with where black goes and how white responds, I was total rubbish. Makes one appreciate that Ogata-sensei is such a smart man!' Then he clapped his hands together, startling Sai, and said, 'Well, what can I do for you today, Fujiwara-san?'

Noburu used to opportunity of the lull in the monologue to quickly make his farewells, saying he had to go back to his store before his assistant decided to do something stupid. Sai thanked him again and heard the bookseller's footsteps retreat as Shitateya resumed talking.

Shitateya gushed about Ogata some more, showing off his ignorance about Go until Sai, starting to feel irritated, interjected in one of Shitateya's breath pauses,

'Can we get back to the clothing?'

'Ah yes of course. My fellow store owner tells me you're looking for a new top, any particular style or color? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know that you know colors, do I! Do you know colors?' the man corrected himself.

Sai wasn't sure to be offended by the patronizing words or just write it off as being a kind thought, by an otherwise thoughtless man.

'I do know some colors...' Sai said hesitantly.

The store owner clapped his hands again, again startling Sai.

'Excellent!' The man stepped forward; Sai was tempted to step back. 'First I need to take some measurements.' Another step forward, getting so close Sai could feel his warmth radiating off him. Sai stepped back half a step. 'Hold out your arms out to the sides, please.'

'Is this necessary?' Sai asked tightly and then exhaled a little as the man stepped back.

'It's standard. But, hmm, it rather depends on the style you are looking for, I guess. What _are_ you looking for?'

'Something like I'm wearing, please.' Sai tried not sound exasperated. He didn't add, 'but new' as that seemed self-evident.

'That would be sportswear then. No need for measurements, I can see you're a size medium from here.' The man took another step back and Sai letting breathe a lot easier.

'Sports section is this way,' Shitateya said and Sai could hear his muted footsteps moving in a direction away from the door. Sai followed him, feeling glad that focusing the man's mind on his job had quelled the torrential word stream effectively.

The man seemed to have a one-track mind, for along their path he was muttering a cycle of similar phrases over and over as he'd stop somewhere, stood still for few seconds and then started again. Also Sai found that their chosen path was very haphazard in its direction; it kept changing.

The man stopped again. 'Ah this maybe... hmm, no I think... maybe in blue?... Oh, yuck no...' He started walking again.

Sai was pretty sure he'd never been in a clothing store before. He knew he hadn't been since the accident, but he suspected he hadn't been with Hikaru either. Or if he had it hadn't been anything like this; this was totally unfamiliar.

As their track continued Sai was started to realize that the man was indeed trying to find him the perfect top. The man may speak his mind, quite literally, but he obviously took his job seriously.

The man stopped again, but instead of going through his muttering routine again, he addressed Sai.

'Okay, I have collected 3 tops that I think you might like. This is a purple sweater.' Sai felt a soft material touch his right hand. He dropped his cane and grasped it. It was very nice and very soft. It felt like real wool. He was tempted to touch it to his cheek but resided the impulse.

'Well?' Shitateya asked eagerly.

'Very nice, so soft.' Sai said. Then he bit his lip, here comes the hard question, Sai had to steel himself to ask it, knowing he must.

'But, uhm, may I ask how much it costs?' he asked tentatively.

'It's on sale at ¥7,999.' Shitateya informed him, sounding rather smug.

Sai felt himself go cold. He agreed that the sweater was really very nice but for it to cost so much money! Even though he had it in his pocket, if only just, it would be irresponsible to spend so much on clothing, however nice. Not to mention that he really didn't consider the money his. With a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach he chided himself for not asking for more information about this store from the bookseller, before they had come in the door. What a fool he had been in not realizing the fact that Ogata shopped here should have made it clear to him this would be an expensive place. A very expensive place.

Another thought assailed him; would Sai's refusal to buy the sweater, or anything else here, reflect badly on Ogata's reputation? Sai admonished himself that he should have stopped Noburu from introducing him to Shitateya as Ogata's friend.

With a heavy heart Sai realized that to save everybody's face he would have to buy an item here, even if it cost him most of his money to do so.

Sai was about to tell Shitateya he'd take the sweater, when the sweater was plucked from Sai's hand and was exchanged for another.

'This one is Burgundy with an Argyle pattern.' the man announced. Sai had no idea what an 'Argyle' pattern was, nor did he was he quite sure what color 'Burgundy' was, but the material was even softer than the one before.

'It's on sale at ¥10,999,' Shitateya proudly announced. Well that was out, ¥11,000 was more than Sai had left. He calculated there was ¥8,300 plus the change he hadn't touched yet, in his pocket, no more.

Sai swallowed and held out the garment towards the salesman.

'I think, maybe I like the other one better,' Sai stuttered. Another sweater filled his hand.

'Try this one, it's a forest green with black trim around the neck and cuffs. It's also priced down at ¥7,999.'

It felt the same as the purple one, soft and wooly. Sai now had a choice, but not a choice he would have wanted. But he owed the titleholder so much already that he could not let the man suffer any loss of face because of him. On the other hand he'd have to pay with money he did not consider his own. Maybe, he could pay Kawai back in Go lessons? Sai shored his resolve up to do what must be done; all that remained was the choice between green and purple.

xXXx

After stuffing the plastic bag with the sweater next to the safely wrapped book in his bag, he stepped out into the upper court yard. Sai didn't much feel like exploring the mall anymore. He carefully retraced Noburu's steps back to the escalator, only to end up at the top of the ascending one. Some maneuvering and someone's helpful, 'To your left, idiot!', found him at the top of the descending escalator.

Sai shuddered. He really hated escalators, lifts and sliding doors. Bolstering himself he grasped the moving railing and used it to guide himself forward. With his right foot he tried to find a whole step as the railing dragged him forward. Even as he took the step onto the escalator proper, bring his left foot to join his right, he wasn't sure he had hit a complete step, as they all were still flat. As he was propelled forward the steps started to form levels and Sai felt his heels lifting. He clung onto the railing and readjusted his feet to sit firmly on a complete step. He righted himself and felt himself move down slowly.

Then he had an idea; shifting his full weight to his left foot, he carefully placed his right heel against the step behind him, now he should be able to feel that step retract, so he'd be warned the bottom of the escalator had been reached, and he might be able to alight without tripping.

After the sounds of the upper courtyard had changed into that of the lower, Sai felt his heel shift. This was it; nearly there. The railing was the second thing he felt turn horizontal and Sai moved his right foot forward so it could take his weight as his left would be swiped away from under him as it hit the non-moving part of the escalator. Sai felt his left foot catch and stepped onto his right. He then had to walk on fast for a step or two, because the momentum of the escalator pushed him forward for a bit. He slowed down, and having grasped his cane again, set off towards the main doors in a straight line, having to avoid only a few people as he went.

oOOo

As Sai stepped out into the open space of the square, with its roaring fountain a ways out in front of him, Sai wasn't quite sure what to do next.

Before his visit to the clothing store he had planned to leisurely explore the mall and have some lunch there too. But now his pockets were virtually empty and he had no wish to be anywhere near the mall.

He checked his watch, 11:25. Ogata had said he'd be back around 2pm, which left over 2 hours to kill.

Sai spent a good hour and a half exploring first the square and then some of the side streets off the main street from Ogata's building, when it started raining. Softly at first but pretty soon water came pelting down.

Sai tried to find some sort of shelter, and found a tree that sort of kept the rain off, but by that time he was already soaked. Sai stayed under the tree for a while, hoping to wait it out. After a while when it became clear it was not going to be letting up anytime soon, Sai carefully took his watch from his bag, trying not to get the inside of the bag wet, and touching the dial read 1:23.

He set off towards Ogata's building which, he was proud to note, he found easily enough. Its sliding doors whooshed open and Sai stepped inside, feeling water drip down his back, off his legs and almost gushing over his sandaled feet. Sai contemplated what do next; this morning Ogata had ushered him out the doors with some urgency and both he and Sai had neglected to make any sort of formal arrangement on where to meet. Was Sai to wait here, or was he to go up to flat 304 and wait by the door there?

He did know where the elevators were, even if had only used the entrance this morning to leave. All the other times they had come into the building, it had been by way of the garage and its elevator.

Sai's musings were stopped by a loud noise from his right.

'Hey! What do you think you are doing, coming in here and dripping all over my nice clean hall, you vagabond?'

Sai was startled, he hadn't expected anyone to be there. While the presence of the man was a surprise, what he had said to the blind man and the tone of it were not; Sai was about to be thrown out. He was suddenly assailed by a the memory of a hundred such instances of being chased away. Instinctively he gripped his heavy bag to him and started backing away.

'Uh, sorry, uh, I was told to wait here...'

'I don't know who told you, you could just come in here! But I'm the door guard here and it's my job to keep the riff-raff out!'

Angry footsteps now came towards him and Sai started to move backwards faster. But apparently not fast enough to suit the man, because Sai felt his right upper arm being grabbed and he was propelled backwards out the doors.

'Get out, you filth and stay out!' With a last shove the man let go of Sai, walked off and Sai heard the sliding doors close. Sai stood in perplexed misery, the rain beating a steady rhythm on his head.

xXXx

#*#*#*#  
At dinner on the evening of the second night of his stay at the shelter, he hugged to bowl closely to himself, deciding to forgo the use of chopsticks all together and stuffed the rice and vegetables (and some bits of omelet) in his mouth using his hand as a spoon, while making his way to where he knew the nearest wall was, so he could sit with his back to it, on the floor. His experiences the night before had made it clear no-one would let him sit at any of the tables. This time he managed to eat most of the food even though he had burned his mouth a little on the hot rice.

The evening before and a little time this morning he had spent exploring the shelter, such as he could, as it seemed really funny to the other homeless to trip him whenever they could. Sai had persisted, though, knowing he needed to know how to get around. It had been hard and humiliating and his knees really hurt, from the repeated falls, but he now knew where the door was, the office, the kitchen and the chow line, the staff washroom and his bed.

Utterly exhausted at about 10pm he made his way to his bed, only to find it occupied by someone else. Sai stumbled out into the hallway outside the dorm he had thought had been his, leaned his back against the wall and felt his legs buckle under him. He clutched his bag to his chest. He had tried so hard to get it all properly situated in his head but he had apparently made a mistake, for 'his' bed was obviously not his bed and that meant that this was not his dorm. He had no clue where his dorm could be if it wasn't here, which it appeared it wasn't. He was perplexed and bewildered; he had been so sure that had known where his bed was.

Sai called himself a fool for ever thinking it might be all right; he was lost in the dark, there was nowhere he could go, and nothing he could do to help himself. Big tears were running down his face as people passed by, some either accidentally or deliberately tripping over him, until lights out at 11:15.

Shortly after someone tried to take his bag off him and he hung onto it with all his strength but then someone else kicked him in the ribs and, startled, he let go of it. The men and the bag were gone instantly. Sai wrapped his arms around his aching ribs and started to cry in earnest.

What was to become of him, if he couldn't even find his way around in one building? And if he couldn't feed himself nor keep hold of his things. All day he had heard derisive remarks behind his back, about his uselessness and that he was taking other, better people's places away from them by being here. By existing. Why did he even exist? He had no abilities, he was no-one's family; his life was pointless.

He curled his arms tighter about himself and just hoped it would all be over soon.  
#*#*#*#

Sai was sure that this time he had not made a mistake and that he had entered the right building, but with that man still there he wasn't about to try and enter again. He briefly contemplated putting on the expensive sweater and trying again, but he was fairly sure it wouldn't work and he didn't want to ruin the sweater. No, he had spent many a day before out in the rain, he knew he'd be fine, no need to panic.

Sai had found place to sit at the base of a pole that felt just a little dryer than anywhere else. The wasn't anything to do but wait until two, after that he'd have to decide how long he should wait before going to the nearest phone booth to call Ogata. He really didn't want to be a bother to his new friend, who had been so kind to him already.

oOOo

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 7*: Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was just after he had checked his watch, which read 2:18, and Sai had decided to wait until 2:30, when the doors whooshed and footsteps came towards him.

'Fujiwara? What are you doing outside?' Ogata sounded puzzled, his voice was barely audible over the rain coming down on Sai's head and, Sai realized as the rain stopped falling on him but still fell beside him, that Ogata held an umbrella over their heads.

Sai got to his feet, helped by Ogata grabbing his elbow.  
'Come on inside, you're wet through!' Ogata gently pulled on Sai's arm. 'What are you doing out here anyway?'  
/'The door guard wouldn't let me in,'/ Sai whispered, embarrassed, his teeth chattering.  
'What?' Ogata all but yelled as the doors whooshed open again and he dragged Sai inside.

'The door guard wouldn't let me in,' Sai said a little louder, realizing the sound of the door had effectively drowned him out.  
The door whooshed shut, cutting off the noisy rain.  
'Oh, I see,' Ogata said. At the same time the guard yelled 'Hey, be off with you I said!' Then he continued to Ogata, 'I'm sorry Ogata-san, I already threw him out; his kind doesn't seem to learn...'  
Ogata still had his hand on Sai's arm, and Sai could feel the man tremble with rage, matching his own shudders from being cold.  
'This man is my honored guest! Your job is to meet the guests that come here, not throw them out!' Ogata took a long breath, unconsciously gripping the blind man tighter.  
/Honored guest/, that sounded nice, Sai mused, his teeth starting to chatter.

The guard stuttered, 'I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know, sir, but look at him...'  
Ogata interrupted him,  
'I want to see you and your supervisor in my apartment, Monday morning at 8:45 sharp, is that understood?'  
'But sir, it's my day off!'  
'Be there.'  
'Yes sir,' the guard sighed, 'Sorry, sir.'  
'Sorry' doesn't cut it,' Ogata snapped as he pulled Sai towards the elevators.

As the lift doors closed, Sai pleaded, 'Don't be too harsh on him, he couldn't know, could he?'  
Self-consciously he added, 'Not with the way I look...'  
'Grumph, I'll think about it. Let's get you dry first!'

xXXx

The lift deposited them on the 3rd floor and presently they were inside the flat, where Ogata, after Sai had put his shoes away, handed the shivering man a towel.  
'You're soaked through, you should take a shower to warm up, before you catch a cold,' he suggested.

Sai felt already warmed by the man's concern, however superfluous. Sai had spent many long days, over the past year, getting soaked, with nowhere to take shelter, waiting until 5:30 when the doors to the shelter would finally open. There had been days where a 5 minute morning's downpour would take until after noon to dry because the air was so saturated with moisture, only for him to get rained on again an hour or so later.

'Do you need help undoing your braid?' the titleholder offered. Sai nodded and quickly finished mopping up the most active drips around his head.

Ogata was tugging Sai's braid loose when he asked, 'Do you have something to change into?'  
'I'll wear yesterday's clothes,' Sai said, feeling stupid for having put on all clean clothing this morning, when he could perfectly well have worn yesterdays. Of course he had done so because he didn't want to embarrass his new friends, but it left him without anything decent to wear.

'Urg,' Ogata mumbled, 'I think not.' He pulled a little hard on a strand. 'Sorry, it's tangled,' he explained.  
'Yeah, it does that when it's wet.' Two more hard tugs.  
Ogata worked in silence for some minutes before pronouncing Sai' ready for the shower.  
'Hop into the shower and hand over everything that's wet. Just drop it on the floor.' Ogata paused, 'You'd better give me your clothes from yesterday too.'

Sai, who had been heading for the bathroom, stopped.  
'What am I supposed to wear?'  
'I'll lend you something,' Ogata assured.  
'But we're not the same size, are we?' Sai argued, feeling more than a little uncomfortable about the thought of imposing on the other man even more.  
'I have some old sportswear you can try on, should fit well enough,' Ogata argued, 'You can't go naked, or in yesterday's clothes,' he added.

Sai did see his point; if he wanted to fit in a world where he wasn't homeless anymore, he really couldn't go around in day old rags.  
'Okay,' he conceded, opening his bag to get out the dirty clothing, which were a little damp as he expected them to be, but not wet. Sai once again marveled at his bag; his faithful companion of the past year.

'Is that my book?' Ogata asked as he took the clothing from Sai's hand, he must have spied the plastic bag sticking out of the canvas bag.  
'Yes,' Sai said and tried to get it out using only his right hand. After some fruitless maneuvering he sighed and just took off the bag, let it settle on the couch and managed to get the book out. He passed it on to Ogata, who took the weight off him.

'Hey, did buy some clothing?'  
Sai startled; Ogata had seen the bag from the men's clothing store. He made a grab for it, but Ogata was faster, taking the crinkly plastic bag away from him.  
The other man opened it.  
'Oh my, that is a nice sweater! Why not wear this, this afternoon?'  
Sai hung his head in embarrassment, trying to think of anything to say. But he couldn't tell the man he only bought it to save face, could he? And he shouldn't need to, after all, the titleholder had no business looking in his bag.

'Fujiwara?' Ogata's voice was soft and questioning, 'What's the matter?'  
Sai remained silent, chiding himself for his uncharitable thought. Ogata may have over stepped the boundaries of privacy but the blind man owed him, big time. These things should not be weighed against each other of course, but the debt did weigh more.

The stiff bag gave another noise as Ogata did something with it.  
'Y7,999?' the pro player said, sounding incredulous. Oh god, he had found the receipt. Sai kicked himself for not realizing there would be one in there. But then how could he have known; he had never bought anything new before.

'That's a lot of money...' Ogata said slowly, '... did you really want to spend so much?'  
Sai tried to hide behind his ragged sleeve and shook his head. How could he explain he had felt pressured into buying it? What kind of wimp would that make him out to be?

'I see.' Ogata noisily handled the bag again. 'Did Shitateya-san rail road you into buying it?'  
Sai kept silent, his embarrassment deepening. Ogata was too perceptive by half.  
'Come on, tell me, why did you buy it if you didn't want it?' Ogata's voice was taking on a hard edge, making Sai cringe. He felt almost like he did when the social worker had come for his visit; small, dirty and inadequate. And cold. His teeth started chattering again.

'I didn't want you to lose face,' Sai admitted.  
'Lose face? How?' Ogata now sounded very angry. Sai had thought he had done the right thing in buying the sweater, now he was losing all confidence in his own ability to know what the right thing was. He was so new to not being alone; to having friends. Somehow he got it wrong and his friend was angry, and Sai didn't know how to make it right.

In a small voice the former ghost said, 'He introduced me as your friend. I couldn't leave without buying something, it would have reflected badly on you,' he pleaded.  
'What? Who introduced you?'  
'The bookseller.'  
Ogata was silent for a moment. Sai started to shudder with cold as he felt a trail of ice water slide down his neck.

'Why would the bookseller take you to meet Shitateya?'  
Sai felt the blood drain from his face. It always came down to this, didn't it?  
/'Because he said I needed better clothing to be around the mall,'/ he whispered. In a louder tone he said, 'And he's right, you said it yourself, I can't be around nice people wearing rags!' He hadn't meant to yell and he certainly didn't mean to start crying, but he had and now he did. He covered his wet face in his very damp sleeves and sat down on the couch, slumping forward.

He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder.  
'Fujiwara-san, I don't care what you look like, and I certainly don't care what Shitateya or the bookseller think of my friends,' Ogata said measurably. 'But if you think it matters so much we'll go shopping for some new clothes for you, ones you can afford. But first you need to take that shower, you're freezing.'

With a shocking thought Sai literarily did freeze; he had been sitting on Ogata's couch totally wet! He shot up, effectively dislodging Ogata's hand.  
'Oh god, I'm sorry! I've ruined your couch!' Sai was mortified.  
Ogata gave a small laugh, 'Don't worry, that happens to me at least once a rainy season, the couch can take it. Go shower,' Ogata shooed him away.

oOOo

Sai had planned on a short shower but as soon as the warm water hit him, his legs seemed to turn to putty and he let himself slip down until he sat on the shower stall's floor. He leaned forward a bit and let the water sluice over his back, letting himself give into its warm comfort, for a while at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
That second night in the shelter after being unable to find his bed, Sai still sat in the hallway with his arms tightly around his pulled up legs, face buried in his knees, where Kuma found him an hour later as the burly man did his rounds. At first Sai was too upset to talk but when Kuma asked him why he was not in his bed, Sai admitted that he couldn't find it or the even right dorm.

Kuma told him he was sitting right outside it, making Sai frown; had he been looking for his bed in the right dorm after all? Kuma took him inside the dorm to find his bed. The big man counted out the beds to number 17. He stopped where Sai had earlier, and where the blind man had been sure bed 17 was. It was still occupied. Kuma told Sai to step back, and then there was a crashing noise and a load yelp. The blind man took an involuntary step backwards, unsure what was going on.

'Out!' Kuma roared, and Sai heard someone running off on bare feet.  
'Go to the office! And don't you dare go anywhere else!' Kuma bellowed after the man. To Sai he said in more normal tone of voice,  
'Don't worry, I'll take care of him later. He can't get out anyway; all the doors are bolted.'

Sai heard the sounds of the big man reassembling the bed and then he said,  
'Let's get you settled in for the night. Where's your bag?' Kuma added as an afterthought.  
Sai admitted it had been taken from him. He felt his incompetence even more keenly now that someone knew of it. Sai flinched as the big man growled,  
'Who took it?'  
Sai recounted the story, and the Kuma stalked off leaving Sai sitting on 'his' bed, still trembling. He wasn't sure what to think of the burly man's actions so far; would they help him or make thing worse?

Just as the grumbles from the other sleepers were getting louder and were starting to scare Sai, Kuma stalked back in. He switched on the lights with a loud click, drawing a lot of protests from the sleepers.  
'Listen up all!' Kuma bellowed. 'This here is my friend Mayo.'  
Sai was startled; Kuma thought of him as a friend?  
'You are to lay off of him or I will sit on you, is that understood?' Kuma continued. There were some affirmative grumbles.

'Now, his bag was stolen, and I got it back for him,' Sai's bag landed on his lap where he grabbed at it before could slip off. It was emptier than it was before, but Sai wasn't about to complain.  
'If anybody tries to steal it from him again I. Will. Sit. On. You. So don't try it!'  
More grumbles.  
'Okay!' with that Kuma switched off the lights and said to Sai, 'I'll see you in the morning, goodnight.'  
'Goodnight and thank you,' Sai said, genuinely grateful, as Kuma walked off noisily.

It took some time for the blind man to fall asleep; he kept thinking about how he'd been tricked out of his own bed and belongings. Then he reminded himself they weren't really his to start with; the bed was lent to him so he could sleep somewhere and the clothes and bag were to ensure he didn't break the codes of common decency too much. It was actually quite a responsibility to live up to.  
He was still contemplating the enormity of it when he drifted off to sleep.

Next morning in the chow line, things were the same as always, if not worse, just as Sai had feared. The second after the blind man had received his bowl it was taken by someone, and after being pushed twice and tripped once he gave up and carefully crawled to the wall, where he made himself as small as possible, and decided to stay until it was time to meet Miss Kaori in the office.

Sai was starting to wonder what the use of it all was, if maybe it would have been better to never have come out of the drug induced stupor that he'd been in, in the hospital. That way he would never have known this humiliation or this hunger. What was he going to do if every meal time he'd lose the food he was given, if every night he'd be forced to give up his bed and belongings? With a heavy heart he started to realize he was losing the will to try. It grieved him to think of himself that way, but there was nothing he seemed to be able to do about it.

'Mayo!' Kuma bellowed from the hallway outside the canteen. The set up of the canteen was such that you could only join the chow line from the dorms and washrooms, before entering the canteen with its tables and chairs. It was not possible get a second turn in the chow line. The canteen opened up to the small hall just inside the front door, through which everybody would have to have left by 9am.

'Mayo!' The restaurant style doors opened with a whoosh to let the big man in.  
'Oh, there you are. What are you doing on the floor?'  
Sai didn't answer, couldn't think of anything to say. It was all pointless anyway.  
'Where is your bowl?' the big man's voice boomed.  
Sai shook his head. Kuma was silent a moment.  
'Did they take it?' he asked.  
Sai didn't nod but merely let his head sink in shame. Whatever he said or did, he was screwed. If he got Kuma's help now, he'd be worse off when the man was absent, and if he didn't he'd still go hungry and have to sleep in the corridor outside the dorm room. All he could hope for was that they wouldn't send him away, because, as hellish as it was in here, Sai was terrified of staying unprotected outside at night.

'Get up,' Kuma grabbed his upper arm and helped him up forcefully. He pulled Sai with him towards where Sai knew the tables were.  
'You, up.' Kuma commanded away from Sai's direction. Someone moved. To Sai Kuma used a much friendlier tone. 'Please, sit here, I'll be right back.' Sai sat as heard Kuma move off towards to end of the chow line.

He felt man next to him elbow him in the side and someone hissed 'Useless bind man' at him. A blob of rice hit his cheek. He wiped it off his face and let his head hang lower. Someone passing behind him, gave him a shove into the table, which Sai braced with his hands. There were more whispers behind him.

It seemed like an eternity before Kuma was back. A warm bowl landed in his left hand and a pair of chopsticks hit his right palm. The person sitting across from Sai scrambled out of the way as Kuma shook the table like in an earthquake as he sat down.  
'Eat.' he commanded Sai. Sai did so.

Five minutes later Kuma asked, 'All done?'  
Sai nodded, putting down bowl and sticks.  
'So tell me what else has been done to you that you've not been telling,' Kuma demanded.  
'Uh,' Sai started.  
/'Tattletale,'/ some male voice whispered from somewhere next to him. It effectively shut Sai up; he didn't want to get into more trouble.  
Suddenly there was a slap, a bang and a load crash, wobbling the table, and a very human woof of air escaping lungs. Where before had been the hubbub noise of the canteen now was a deadly silence, except for soft moaning from close to the floor.

'I told you I'd sit on you,' Kuma admonished.

There was another scramble and Sai heard someone right a chair and felt the vibration of Kuma retaking his seat in front of Sai.  
'So tell me,' Kuma tried again.  
But Sai felt he couldn't, if he did the people involved and others too would just wait until the blind man was alone and then extract their revenge. Sai kept his mouth shut.

They sat in silence so long the normal chatter of the canteen was in full swing again when Kuma cleared his throat and said, 'Okay.'  
The earth shook once more as Kuma got up, scraping his chair legs across the concrete floor with a howl. Sai covered his ears, instinctively.

'Listen all!' Kuma called. The place fell silent. 'Anybody who messes with my friend here will be sat on. So don't say you ain't been warned.'  
Sai cringed. He was so dead.

xXXx

Kuma took Sai to the office and there Mr. Uwayaku worked on him until he told some of what happened. Mr. Uwayaku, while sympathetic, said there wasn't terrifically much they could to prevent this from happening except what Kuma had done, be a bigger bully, and try to keep more of an eye on the blind man. It made Sai feel even more like a useless cripple.

The only practical thing Mr. Uwayaku did was replace the T-shirt and pants that had been stolen out of Sai's bag.  
By the time that was all sorted, Miss Kaori had arrived and, not liking the shelter any more than Sai did, was ready to go on their walk.

oOOo

The day was successful enough, they managed to bring down the walk time to just under an hour with Sai needing next to no prompting for directions. On the last lap back for the day, Sai navigated by himself with only one correction from Kaori.

Sai had very been worried there would be reprisals from the shelter inhabitants because of Kuma's threats to them on Sai's behalf. But that evening at dinner he managed to empty his own bowl, sitting at the table, using chopsticks. Even his mug of water was still there when he reached for it to finish it.

He found his bed was empty when he went to it and overall people were not bumping or pushing or tripping him nearly as much as they had been before. The name calling all but ceased.  
He shuddered to think what else Kuma and Mr. Uwayaku had done to make everybody leave him alone. And he lived in constant dread of what might happen if he were ever caught by his shelter mates outside of Kuma's and Mr. Uwayaku's protection.

Over the next year that he was there, there were still incidents, some bad ones, but mostly Sai found he was left in peace. He was very careful to either stay in or be very far away from the shelter. He never hung about the building, and managed for the most part to stay out of trouble with his fellow shelter dwellers.

He would forever be grateful to Mr. Uwayaku and Kuma, but since Sai was in effect totally helpless, and felt it too, he could never seem to build up a real friendship with either man, and Mr. Uwayaku for one discouraged any attempt on Sai's part to do so. Kuma used to talk at Sai from time to time about his women, and Sai did his best to sympathize, but Sai couldn't remember ever having had a girlfriend so he really couldn't respond much.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sai hoped fervently he would be able to do better with Ogata; that he'd be able to create a more equal relationship between them.  
He could admit to himself how it had hurt his pride to owe Kuma, Mr. Uwayaku and Miss Kaori such big debts he could never repay. And now he had new people he owed, most importantly Ogata-san. It was his strongest hope he could make up for his debt with the Go-pro by being a worthy adversary in the game. He just wasn't sure that would be enough to make theirs a real friendship.

xXXx

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 8*: Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A rattling knock on the shower door startled Sai out of his thoughts. The door slid open a little, letting steam out and colder air in.  
'Sorry to startle you, just came in to pick up your wet things. I've put a towel on the sink and some clothes on the side board. It's a jogging suit, it should fit well enough.' Ogata said gently.

Using the time to pull himself together, Sai moved away from under the spray a bit, spluttering as a stray jet hit him in the mouth, then he finally said, 'Thanks, I'll be right out.' over his shoulder, effectively dismissing his friend.  
The shower door closed and the blind man exhaled.

'I thought we were going to the Go club,' Sai asked after Ogata told him to put the bagged sweater in his bag before the titleholder started to push the blind man out the door.  
'First we're going to get you some decent clothing,' he said, stooping down to put on his shoes. Sai slipped into his sandals after retrieving them from his cubby hole.

'Ogata-san, I don't want to spend any more money on clothing,' Sai said, not letting Ogata's tugging move him further out of the house. The other man wasn't tugging very hard; if he had, he would have been able to make the lighter man come with him, whether Sai would have liked to or not. But the blind man's refusal to move was respected by the tile holder in the most direct way possible; he stopped tugging and started explaining.

'I was thinking we could take back that sweater and you can get something else. I know my 'friend' Shitateya has more affordable things in his store. Serves him right for pushing.' Ogata almost sounded gleeful at the prospect. Sai was merely speechless.

'Uh, that is,' Ogata back paddled when Sai said nothing to his plan, 'If you want to keep the sweater, you can do that to. I still owe you money from the bet.' he suggested.

That money was really haunting the blind man; he wanted to scream 'it isn't mine!' but he didn't. It was pointless to argue over this with the Go pro, since it was Kawai's money anyway. Sai wondered how he was ever going to pay the man back?

Sai came back to himself, 'Uh, no, I think I do want to exchange the sweater, if, uhm, you're sure it's not going to damage your reputation...?' he asked tentatively. Exchanging sounded like a very good idea. Sai had considered the money and the sweater a lost cause; he could never have worn the thing comfortably.  
Ogata swung the front door open and stepped out the apartment. 'I am sure,' Sai said, and he had to admit: he sounded it too.

xXXx

With Ogata doing the guiding and the handling of Mr. Shitateya, it hadn't take long to exchange the nice sweater for 2 long sleeved t-shirts, a pair of leggings and most of Sai's money back, all thanks to Ogata's expert verbal twisting of Mr. Shitateya's arm. The titleholder even made the former ghost feel he was going a little far when he demanded the retailer take another 10% off the total bill for bad salesmanship (as in misjudging a customer's means) towards Sai.

Mr. Shitateya did everything asked of him and gave Sai a sincere sounding apology. Sai accepted it immediately. The fashion store owner promised to do better next time.

In the end the clothing cost Sai only Y3400, putting Y4,599 back into his pocket and the addition of the new clothes almost doubled his worldly possessions.

But for all the good ending of the affair, Sai was not exactly happy about how his friend had handled the situation. Sai was grateful for the help, very grateful, but both the situation of Sai needing such help and the forceful way Ogata had supplied it bothered the blind man still, as he rode in the passenger seat of the pro player's fancy car towards the Go club.

oOOo

They didn't arrive at the Touya Go Club until 4:15. And walking into the club, Sai's ears were subjected to the high pitched sounds of a shouting match between Touya and Hikaru, hitting its crescendo.

'If you think I'm going to bother with you if you keep making these piss-poor moves all the time, you are very much mistaken!' young Touya screeched. Sai put his hands to his ears, pressing down to block out the noise.  
'What do you call that weak play in the corner then?' Hikaru countered at the top of his voice.  
'I'll have you know that was a solid move! Not everybody barges through a game like an enraged bull, it pays to exercise some caution!' Touya sounded ready to explode.  
'Caution, my eye! Cowardice, you mean! It just shows you're too much of a sissy to make any real moves!' Hikaru shouted back.

'KNOCK IT OFF, THE BOTH OF YA!' Ogata bellowed. The boys fell silent. Sai dropped his hands away from his ears cautiously. He found this fight between his new young friend and his old young fiend quite unsettling. What there animosity between these two also? Would he be caught in it too? He hoped not; he really liked both boys.

'If you two can't play nice, maybe you just shouldn't play at all,' came the titleholder's exasperated sigh.  
Two sets of footsteps moved loser.  
'We're just having a friendly argument,' Touya deadpanned. Sai was wondering, if this was a 'friendly argument', he couldn't imagine what truly adversarial between these two would be like. His ears were still ringing!

'And any ways, he started it,' Hikaru's melodious voice added.  
'Hey!' Touya exclaimed indignantly. But before they start in on each other again Ogata interrupted,  
'Well, keep it down, there are people who want to concentrate here. And play games. Is anybody actually interested in playing?' he added.  
Both boys answered in affirmatives, Sai adding his 'yes, please!' to the sentiments.

xXXx

It turned out everybody wanted to play their newest friend, and Sai wanted to be able to follow any and all games played, so the older pro came up with a solution.

He suggested they play a teamed match; one team would play black, the other white in one game on one board. First the first member of black would lay a stone, then the first of white followed by the second of black and then the second of white and the first of black again, and so on.  
There would be no conferring within the teams; the second player would have to work out an appropriate continuing move for his side of the team, by trying to follow his team mate's plan.  
Sai was intrigued by the new rules, looking forward to playing.

They formed the teams by having Sai draw stones for each of them, from 4 stones, (2 black, 2 white), laid out on top of the Goban. As Sai couldn't see what he'd draw, it seemed fairest.

The blind man drew white for Touya and himself, komi was set at 5,5.

As they started playing, Sai had forgotten to put back the stone that marked him as being on the white team. It felt so satisfying to hold it, he didn't want to interrupt the game to hand it over to Touya to play. He grasped it tightly in his fist as a lucky charm.

The game itself turned out to be very interesting; none of the pros had much team spirit, each being used to being their own man within Go. And even though the suggestion had come from the titleholder, it was he and Hikaru that were having the biggest problems.

Sai, who was 4th to play each round, did his best to anticipate what Touya's next move after Hikaru's would be and tried to make a move that would best help him. Touya seemed to pick up on this some and between them they managed to make some workable strategies.

Hikaru played 3rd, Ogata having started, but it became clear rather quickly that Ogata couldn't do much with Hikaru's sometimes very decisive moves. As the game progressed, Sai detected that a consensus had indeed been reached between the two; Hikaru did his own thing on one side of the Goban while Ogata did his on some other part of the board.  
Sai pondered for a few rounds if and how he should use this new insight. And then decided that both his opponents where pro players, and would take a good lesson from being obliterated today. And he knew just how to do that.

He drew Touya's attention to their opponents' choice of play by playing a few well-placed stones in the next few rounds. Touya then played a stone that Sai interpreted as 'understood'. Sai went on the offensive, this time leading instead of following his team mate, like he had been. He kept his strategy on a match with Touya's level of play, which seemed to work as Touya's moves followed the plan almost flawlessly.

The other team started to sweat, giving each other grim looks. They did change their strategy, but just couldn't find a flow together. Then they abandoned the attempt and each concentrated on foiling as much of the white team's gambits as possibly. They played it out to the bitter end, as apparently neither Ogata nor Hikaru were willing to throw in the towel.

By the time the very last stone was played the board was a big mess, and black had lost by 77 /moku/, (could have been worse; at one point they had been 105 /moku/ behind).  
Sai very much enjoyed the post-game discussion over dinner (sandwiches and a mug of soup for him, take-away ramen for the rest).

xXXx

After dinner both boys had to leave. But Hikaru didn't leave before trying to set another time to meet.  
/'I'll be here from 2 again tomorrow, Touya too,'/ he whispered. Sai nodded his understanding. /'Don't hesitate to call if you need anything,'/ with that he left.

Sai had very much wanted to talk to Hikaru alone, to ask him more about his past and their time together, but there just didn't seem to be any time. Also he still owed the older pro player a much more immediate debt and the former ghost did know how to practice patience. He readied himself for this night's game with the titleholder.

oOOo

Ogata had suggested they go home for the game, and Sai had had no objections.

In the man's flat, Ogata first looked over the mail and Sai asked to call the shelter, to let them know he wasn't coming. That is if Ogata still wanted him as a houseguest, Sai queried. Ogata assured him he did, and Sai made the call. Maybe it was a bit much to ask if he was allowed to stay so many times, but above all the blind man did not want to impose on his gracious host.

As Sai put down the receiver, Ogata said, 'You don't have to ask every night, you know.'  
'I, uh, just want to be sure,' Sai felt like he was defending himself against some accusation, but he could not quite fathom what he stood accused of.

'And do you have to call them every night?' Ogata continued.  
'So they know I'm not coming, and they can give my bed to someone else,' Sai patiently explained.  
'Of course,' the pro agreed, 'But why not tell them you're here and have done?'

Sai bit his lip, he really didn't want to tell the other man too much of his life at the shelter. He settled for revealing, 'If I give up my place officially like that, I might not get it back...'  
'Why would you want to go back there anyway?' Ogata asked.

Sai stayed silent on that; he did not want to insult his host by suggesting he thought he might not be welcome the next night. This was really his own insecurity talking, he knew that; his own inability to read the Go pro's intentions for Sai's future.

Hoping to change the direction of the conversation, he said,  
'Anyway, my winter stuff is still there...'  
'Well, we can pick that up tomorrow morning,' Ogata countered, almost sounding gleeful.

Sai wasn't sure why he was hesitating; the idea was a good one, after all he had lived here for some days now and compared to the shelter, this flat was paradise. So why not make it official? But some doubt niggled at the back of his mind still.

'We'd have to go early, because the doors close for the day at 9am,' Sai informed him, half heartedly trying to let that fact be a deterrent.  
'Arg,' the other man said in a flat tone. 'We'll make it,' he added with more confidence and flopped onto the couch noisily.

Sai shelved his thoughts as Ogata suggested playing.

The blind man felt a whole lot sharper than he had for last night's game, despite having had a long day. And the titleholder also seemed to be on the ball, for Sai quickly had to give the game his full attention.

xXXx

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 9*: Chapter 9

_It's a short chapter I'm afraid. But let me tell you, you really wouldn't have liked the cliffhanger I would have left you with if I had gathered more into this chapter!_

Chapter 9

A hellish noise woke Sai from a restless slumber, filled with dreams of being chased and blundering about in the dark.  
'6:45, sleepy head! Move it, we're short on time today,' Ogata said as he threw aside his own bedding with a whoosh, got up and gave a tug on Sai's.  
It took the former ghost a minute or two to figure out why they were getting up so early. They had talked about going to shelter to pick up his things before they'd started playing, but the titleholder hadn't mentioned the plan again afterwards, or before going to bed. The whole thing still didn't sit right with Sai, but he still had no reason to refuse, at least not one that was acceptable enough and wouldn't possibly alienate his friend.

They made very short work of dressing and breakfast, both forgoing showers. Sai checked his hair by hand; the braid Ogata had put in it had held just fine, and would not need to be redone, thereby saving more time for Sai to carefully repack his bag.  
He now had more possessions than fitted in the canvas bag. The question was; what to leave out?

He decided to wear one of the new long sleeved shirt and the new leggings. The jogging suit he had worn the day before he put aside; it was not his, but Ogata's. He collected his old clothing, now clean and dry, courtesy of the titleholder's laundry service, which had dropped it by while they were out yesterday.

He sorted out all the underwear and socks and packed them, then the short sleeved t-shirt and the new long sleeved one, together with his drawstring pants, he packed them also. That left his hooded shirt and the loose pants he had worn yesterday, they were the most worn out of the things he owned, probably because they were his favorites. They were just not going to fit in the bag. With a sigh he placed the bundle in the cubby hole beside the door.

Sai was just tucking away the empty plastic bag from Shitateya's when Ogata came out of the bathroom and announced departure.

xXXx

The shelter wasn't too hard to find. Ogata commented that Harbor street was well marked and since Sai knew the denominations of the docks the shelter was between, the pro player drove them pretty much straight there.

'Mayō-kun!' Sai heard yelling from the direction of the shelter as he got out of the car. He smiled as he recognized the voice; his almost friend Kuma.

Heavy footfalls came sprinting towards them.  
'Hey what's this? That's, like, a wow car! Is this a friend?' Kuma's questions came in rapid fire.  
'Kuma-san, may I introduce Ogata-sensei?' Sai bowed.  
''Sensei' eh? What are you teaching my friend here?'  
'Go, and it's more like he's teaching me,' Ogata said, still standing on the other side of the car.  
'Is he?' Kuma exclaimed then added towards Sai, 'I didn't know you could play Go?' He made it sound like a question implying that he found it unlikely, but not impossible.  
Sai felt his face heat up a little.  
'I didn't know until last week either,' he hedged.  
'We've come to pick up Fujiwara's things,' Ogata said, making Sai feel uneasy again.  
''Fujiwara'? Who is 'Fujiwara'? Kuma asked.  
Hearing his real name on the big man's lips made a shiver run down his back. Like it made his past more real. But he wasn't sure having it more real in this place was necessarily a good thing.

'That's me; that's my real name,' Sai said softly. He yelped a little as he felt himself grabbed by the upper arms as the big man exclaimed,  
'Your real name? How wonderful!' Kuma gave him another squeeze, which was just this side of painful and let go of him only to put a meaty hand on his shoulder companionably.  
'So does that mean you remember now? Mr. Uwayaku always said you might, someday! So you've been with family, the last few days? How wonderful!' As usual with the kind hearted man, he jumped to conclusions much too fast. It was in the man's favor that he always went for the most positive of possibilities, and Sai couldn't fault him for it, but he did feel compelled to disillusion him.

'Kuma-san, I don't remember anything yet, I ran into someone who had met me before, but only briefly. And there is no family either, as far as I know, I'm all alone.'  
'Oh,' the big man sounded very disappointed.  
'He's been staying with me,' Ogata said, and Sai wasn't sure he wasn't detecting a hint of smugness in his voice as the man continued, 'We're here to pick up his stuff.'  
'Oh,' Kuma said thoughtfully. 'Oh!' he said sounding like a penny had dropped in his head and a connection had been made.

'You'd better go in then; Uwayaku's in the office, he'll want to talk to you, before you leave,' he added to Sai.  
Ogata appeared to hesitate.  
'I'll look after the car, don't worry, such a fine thing too,' the big man said in the pro players direction. That seemed to help Ogata move and he came 'round the car, taking Sai's left elbow and gently guiding him forward.

oOOo

They entered the shelter with Ogata's unnecessary help. Sai speeded up his forward motion to subtly make the other man aware of his superfluous interference. Sai wasn't sure it worked but Ogata did let go of his elbow as they entered the narrow corridor that lead to the office.  
Sai knocked on the door, and opened it when he heard the word 'enter' from inside.

He knew from previous visits that the office was small, dusty and crammed full of paperwork and general stuff. He inched inside.  
'Mayō-kun?' Mr. Uwayaku sounded both surprised and suspicious. 'I though you weren't here last night?'  
Sai gave the requested answers by quickly outlining where he had been sleeping and why, knowing Mr. Uwayaku was always very busy and not by nature a patient man.  
'Fujiwara Sai, eh? You are sure of this?' the man demanded.  
'Yes sir,' Sai confirmed.  
'I shall pass it on to the authorities, then, if you are sure.'  
'Yes sir, thank you sir.'  
'And this man?' Mr. Uwayaku suspicion was palpable now. At the same time Sai could feel the titleholder's increasing animosity, radiating off the man as he stood behind Sai in the door opening.

'Is the Go professional I spoke of, Ogata-sensei,' Sai answered the manger's question.  
'I see,' Mr. Uwayaku drawled out the remark. 'And you want to live with him on a more permanent basis?'  
Sai nodded.  
'And you, Mr. Ogata, what do you intend to do with our Fujiwara-kun?' Mr. Uwayaku made it sound like an accusation.  
'I intend to play Go with him,' Ogata almost spat.  
'And that is all?' the shelter-manger queried. Sai was at a loss as to what he was talking about; playing high level Go was enough for anybody, wasn't it?  
The blind man could feel the level of hostility between the two men rise up another notch.

'Yes that is all. He'll be better off with people who can appreciate him for his talents,' the titleholder hissed.  
'I see,' Uwayaku repeated, ignoring the pro player's tone. To Sai he said, 'And this is what you want?'

Sai bit his lip. Is that what he wanted? To live with Ogata in order to play more Go? He absolutely wanted to play more Go. Living with Ogata, who was a high ranking Go professional, would be the best way to put him in the way of that and also give him more access to better opponents than anything else he could think of.  
'Yes sir, I do,' he said.

Mr. Uwayaku was silent for a moment, apparently making up his mind for he said, 'Okay. Mr. Ogata, I will need your address and phone number.' He paused.  
'But Ogata-san, If I ever find out you played anything other than Go with Fujiwara-kun...' Mr. Uwayaku let his voice trail of, dripping ice in its wake. Sai really didn't know what to make of the entire conversation, but since he had what he wanted, he decided it did not matter very much. He noted that the titleholder made no answer to the remark.

The blind man felt Ogata step around him, reaching forward as the man said, 'My card.'  
Mr. Uwayaku thanked him, and then acted like they had been dismissed. The Go players stood silently for minute.  
'Uhm, Mr. Uwayaku, can I have my coat?' Sai asked tentatively.  
'What?,' Mr. Uwayaku sounded like he had been deeply engrossed in something else. 'Oh, your winter things...' A chair scraped across the floor as the manger got up. There was the tell tale sounds of cabinets opening and stuff being moved, followed by the sound of stiff clothing hitting the desk.  
'Here you are,' Mr. Uwayaku's chair scraped again as he retook his seat.

Ogata gathered up the items, stepping around Sai to leave the office.  
'Thank you. For everything,' Sai said softly, bowing before he too turned around to go.  
'Mayō-kun? I mean Fujiwara?'  
Sai turned back.  
'Good luck with your new life,' Mr. Uwayaku's voice didn't sound so cold anymore.  
'Thank you,' Sai nodded his head in appreciation.  
'If,' the man continued, 'you ever need to come back, or just help or advice, call me.'

Sai felt the knot in his chest give a little. Mr. Uwayaku had never been very warm with him; maybe the man needed to keep a certain distance between himself and the homeless men living here. But the offer of help and advice warmed Sai, because he now knew, as he never had before, that he could call on the man for help, if he ever needed it. It was like another brick in the wall that he was building his life upon.

'Thank you sir, I will,' he smiled.  
'I'm sure Kuma will want to know how you're doing. And now off with you, I have work to do!' the man dismissed him.  
'Yes, of course sir,' Sai smiled as he stepped out the office and closed the door.

xXXx

Guess what? I made up Harbor street too!

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 10*: Chapter 10

Chapter 10

As they had come back to the car, Kuma gave Sai a big hug, nearly crushing the slender man, and then hurried off to his duties in the shelter.

'So this is the shelter,' Ogata said. Sai was puzzled at the man's tone, and decided to take remark at face value.  
'Yes.'  
'And these people?' Ogata was obviously referring to the men milling around the shelter door. It was nearly 9am and the doors would close soon, effectively dispersing the crowd.

'All stay here,' Sai stated. Why was the other man asking him that? What could the shelter and its inhabitants possibly mean to someone like Ogata?  
'I see... And the ones who attacked you? Are they here?'  
Ijimekko and Mushi? Sai was sure they'd be around. He tried not to think about those two. Or about any of their friends.

'Probably,' he admitted, again wondering where this was going.  
'What are their names? What do they look like?' He wasn't quite sure why but Ogata's tone started to grate on the blind man's nerves.  
'What does that matter?' he asked trying not to sound irritated.  
A silence followed. Sai tried again to gauge the other man's mood, not liking being unable to.

'I want to call the police on them,' the pro player said.  
'What?' Sai couldn't believe his ears, what was the man thinking? His being attacked was not Ogata's business!  
'No! You are not getting the police involved in this! ' Sai insisted.  
Ogata was standing very close now a grabbed Sai's right wrist.  
'Yes, I am. When that cabby told me about what had happened to you, what they did to you, why they could have killed you that night! Imagine! A genius like you, dead because of thugs like that! Scum like them belongs in jail and that is where they are going.' Ogata shook him by the wrist. 'Now tell their names!' he demanded.

Sai felt a cold lance go through him. This was it, this was the wrong feeling he had had since yesterday; Ogata's almost possessive behavior towards him, maybe even from when they had first met.  
Sai shook off Ogata's hand, reclaiming his wrist.  
'No, I won't,' he stated, his voice flat. 'How do you know that that was here anyway?' he demanded to know.

He did a double take. /That cabby had said.../ Kawai? What did Kawai have to do with this? The Go pro and the cabby had spoken each other? When?  
The answer came with stunning clarity; when Sai had played Touya for the first time. /'This may take a while. Play a game with the squirt if you like.' Kawai had said, following Ogata to settle the bet./ They had stayed away a long time; the game with Touya was already halfway through the middle stage when the older men had come back.

'You knew,' Sai accused. 'You knew what had happened and that I lived here! Kawai told you, that's why you were not surprised when I revealed that later! You knew!' Sai felt like he'd been led around by the nose; right at the beginning Ogata had known where he'd come from, yet the titleholder had let him utter every degrading word. Had he enjoyed watching the blind man explain his miserable existence? Was Sai's life some sort of game to him?

He stepped back and started to turn away when Ogata grabbed his other wrist, jarring the cast, but not painfully so. It did prevent him from moving further away though. Ogata stepped closer again, almost pinned Sai against the car's passenger-side door. The blind man started to feel closed in, trapped.

'Yes, I knew. But it would have served no purpose to mention if; it might even have driven you away! I was not about to let a genius of your caliber disappear on me!' Ogata explained.

Sai put his right hand forward, palm first, catching the titleholder fully in the chest. He gave a shove and Ogata stepped back giving the blind man some room. Sai was under no illusion that he could have done that had the other man not let himself be pushed; the man was half a head taller and many kilos heavier than the former ghost. He extended his flat hand further out, and the pro stepped back another step. As Sai gained a little personal space he realized he was seething mad. So Ogata only valued him because he was good a Go? Was that all he was to the titleholder, a gifted toy?

'What do you think I am? A Go playing doll that can be collected? A curiosity that must be protected? Why? Because I'm blind and good at playing Go? I'm not a pet or an idiot savant!' he tried to keep his voice down, but his anger made that hard to do.

'All I'm asking for is the names of your assailants,' Ogata interjected, trying to sound reasonable.

Sai knew he should stop this discussion and leave. He knew better than to respond to whatever the other said because it would only escalate the fight. But he was just too mad right now, because, he had to admit, he had cared about this friendship a lot. And the betrayal really hurt and so he responded against his better judgment.

'I'm not going to jeopardize my position here, by setting the cops on these people!' Sai argued.  
'What position here? You're with me now, you're not coming back here, ever!' Ogata hissed.  
'And what if something goes wrong between us? Where would that leave me? On the streets, that's where! And that would put me right back here, because _I_ have nowhere else to go!'

Sai was shaking with the rage at the betrayal and the fear of being out on the streets for real. That had never happened yet; he had never had to actually spend the night outside. The prospect filled him with absolute dread. Out there, at night, there were a thousand Ijimekkos and Mushis; the blind man would not stand a chance against them. And Sai knew there were worse things than just being hurt or even killed, that could happen to him, out there.

'Yes, about that,' Ogata stepped closer again, 'Why won't you look for family? Why would you just accept Shindou's word for it that there is none? Why?' The taller man was now pushing Sai back into the car.

Ah, there was the heart of the matter, apparently for Ogata anyway. The titleholder had not really accepted Sai's honest and clear refusal to talk about his past. And the man's dislike of Sai's young friend seemed to be deep rooted. He knew he ought to have this out with the man properly but right now he felt too humiliated and betrayed, and most of all cornered. It was time to end this before Ogata made him choose between Hikaru and himself. The titleholder would not like Sai's answer. And Sai, for one, would not like to make such a choice, ever.

'That's none of your business! Let me go!' Sai yelled, giving the bigger man another push, which he obeyed. Sai stepped away from the car, unfolding the cane that he had folded up earlier in anticipation of getting in the car.

He started walking away in quick strides, trying to find his bearings. His instinct was to run as far away from the man as he could get.  
'Fujiwara, stop!' He heard behind him, but ignored it. Sai took a deep breath, forcing his anger down and out of the way; he would need all his wits about him, if he were to make an effective escape.

His inner compass told him which way he was facing, and a tell tale dip in the pavement, combined with a wedged up piece of asphalt underfoot, told him exactly where he was.

'Fujiwara!' The sound was still coming from behind him; maybe the Go pro didn't dare move away from his car, it being such a very expensive thing in a very bad neighborhood. Sai ignored it, pulling his mind back to the task of finding his way.

Now that he knew where exactly he was, he adjusted his heading to a little more to the left and presently came to edge of Harbor street proper that ran in front of the shelter. He stood still a moment, listening to the traffic.

On this road it was mostly big noisy vehicles. But having made this crossing twice every day for a year made the blind man very in tune with the traffic flow. He listened intently for that moment when the traffic noise was at its lowest volume. Ah, there it was. He started to cross the street with confident strides. 'FUJIWARA!' The sound went through him, chilling his spine, almost making him falter, but he forced himself to keep course and speed, ignoring everything but the possible sounds of oncoming cars. He didn't stop until he had safely reached the side walk on the other side, and heard the sound of a car driving by behind him. He breathed out. He knew how dangerous this crossing was, a danger he faced every time he crossed the street. Every day for the past year, twice a day.

He found the street corner that crossed Harbor Street with the street that led straight to Trade Square. He started walking down it. He had no idea where he was going nor why; he just kept moving across the familiar terrain.

A car came up behind him, and Sai anticipated its sound as it would pass him by and speed off ahead.  
Instead it pulled alongside him, keeping pace with him and he could hear the automated sound of a window rolling down.

'Fujiwara, you scared me half to death!' Ogata bellowed over the sound of the engine. The Go pro revved up the engine, driving ahead a little only to stop the car and open the passenger door.

Sai never stopped moving, never altered his stride, swinging his cane in its customary arch before him. He could not stop walking. If he did they'd have words again and the blind man was still angry enough to start saying things he didn't mean. Or blurt out secrets better left unsaid.

As he passed the stationary car, Ogata commanded,  
'Get in.'  
The blind man kept going.  
Ogata closed the door, putting the car back in motion, easily keeping up with the walker.

'Fujiwara, please get in,' he pleaded. Sai was not unaffected by the man's tone; he sounded really upset. He felt some of his anger dissipate with the surge of sympathy he felt. Ogata had been kind to him, very kind, and maybe he didn't deserve Sai's outrage at his one mistake.

Sai stopped and sighed. Ogata hit the brakes, coming to abrupt stop. 'Please, get in,' he asked again.  
The blind man didn't turn around.  
'I need... some time on my own,' he said. It was all he could give the man until he'd sorted out his own feelings.  
'If it helps any, I apologize,' the pro said, sounding unsure.

Sai hadn't meant to put that emotion in the man; he didn't deserve that either. He was unwilling to risk saying the wrong thing so he stayed silent as the seconds dragged.  
'Just get in, will you!' Ogata's voice now held exasperation and the tone of the command rubbed the blind man the wrong way. Sai's anger flared up again; what right did the man have command him, bully him even? He really wasn't a pet and, apart from gratitude for his generosity and hospitality, he didn't owe the titleholder anything. Sai was a free human being. And even if his life so far had been bad, it was his, and no one had rights over it or him.  
He started walking again, the car revving to keep up.

Sai realized he was coming up on a narrow side road, really only a walk space, used to get to the inner courtyard behind the row of houses. He was still in the area he'd extensively explored almost a year ago, and knew well what lay beyond.

As he walked the iron fence to his left gave way to a hedge, which in turn gave way to the opening to the alley. Sai took the turning, yelling at the car and its occupant, 'Just leave me alone!'

The blind man increased his walking speed as much as he dared; he didn't want to lose count of his strides and he certainly didn't want to trip, giving the other man a chance to catch up.

'FUJIWARA!' Ogata screamed behind him, as the alley narrowed and Sai took the right turning that led off from the alley, hopefully putting him outside of the pro's field of vision. He was tempted to cover his ears to blot out the sound of Ogata's voice, but he needed his hand on his cane and the other was still covered by the cast, so had no choice but to go on ignoring the other man with his mind only.

He walked more cautiously to the end of this bit of throughway, as it was very narrow and the only time he had been there before, some sort of stingy plants had been on both sides; he really didn't want to come away with another rash.

Sai's gamble paid off when he reached to wider road at the end and he couldn't hear Ogata anywhere behind him.

He passed the inner courtyard of the block of houses quickly and let his feet move further and further away from the titleholder's car.

He hardly noticed the trickle of tears that ran down his face as he went; he was too busy thinking.  
What the hell was he going to do now? He wasn't even sure that he had broken with the titleholder, would they be able to patch this up if it were so?  
Did he even want that? Had the man deserved Sai's rejection for such a small mistake? And then there was his temper; could Sai live with the man's volatile temper? Was being able to play him at Go enough to put up with all that? Was Sai maybe totally over reacting? He couldn't answer any of these questions. Except that he remembered something; he liked Go. He loved Go, had ever since he had (re)discovered the game. And Hikaru had said he had even died over it and become a ghost because of it!

Go. The elation he experienced when the empty 19 by 19 field appeared before him at the start of a game. The sound of the first coordinate being voiced and the first stone hitting the wood with that sharp sound. The divvying up of territory in the first part of the game. That was the point that you started to perceive where the battles will take place. Than the middle game, where tentatively claimed areas are strengthened into hopefully invincible battlements. There'd be smaller and bigger wars here too, and then the big drag out fight that would decide what would be left to reap by either player in the end game.

Often that big battle would not happen or would be aborted, when Sai's opponent had seen his fortifications fell short for a real battle, and resigned. He had particularly enjoyed the times when he'd fought Ogata and Touya; their level had been so high! His one game with Hikaru held a special place in his heart. Hikaru wasn't at Touya's level yet, but he would get there, of that there was no doubt.

His thoughts of Go had calmed the blind man down considerably. The anger had faded completely and he now was left with a sadness combined with a burning desire to play Go.

Sai checked his location; his feet and cane had set him on the path towards the Heart of Stone. Realizing that that was exactly where he longed to be, he continued on his path.

The people at Heart of Stone had always been nice to him. They may not be at the level of skill as Ogata or Touya or even Hikaru, but Sai felt he was a better fit there than he did at the fancy Go club and expensive shopping mall that the likes of the titleholder and his protégé frequented.

And best of all Hikaru had known about the Heart of Stone, the boy had been there many times as well. Yes, that was the place for him, Sai just knew it!

oOOo

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 11*: Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The club was already open when he entered and he was startled by the greeting of 'Mayō? How nice to see you!' from the owner. He hadn't realized he had missed the kind man with his warm welcome, his old name sounding familiar on the man's tongue. He felt for a moment he had stepped back in time. But before the blind man could correct the owner said, 'My you look wonderful! Being around pros must agree with you!'

Sai felt his face heat up; it was one thing to be center of attention because of a Go game, it was quite another to be praised for his looks. Especially because he knew there was nothing to see, he was very thin, had always been, and the she-man at the shelter had called him pale. Not much of a recommendation all around really.

'Oh!' came from behind him. The owner had moved around him, without him realizing it.  
'Your hair, it's so long!' the man exclaimed. It was then that Sai remembered that Ogata had requested he leave it hanging out some days ago and he had not bothered putting it inside his clothes ever since. The reminder of Ogata's existence was a stabbing pain, but Sai quickly quelled it; Ogata and his world did not belong at the Heart of Stone, and Sai was not letting him in, even if it was only in his own mind.

He decided that honesty was best and said, 'Owner-san,' and bowed. 'Thank you for your welcome. I have good news: I have found my name, I'm no longer 'Lost'.' The owner and several other men gasped. Oh my, he was already gathering an audience, might as well do it properly then, he thought.  
'I have the honor to introduce myself as Fujiwara Sai now. Please call me Sai.' He bowed again.

'Oh how wonderful! So you've got your memory back then?' the owner asked enthusiastically. Sai's happy feeling at finally being able to use his full name fell at the man's question. Honesty compelled him to answer: 'Ah, no,' he dropped his head some and swallowed. 'I met someone who had met me before. He, uh,' Oh hell, keeping secrets was hard, and Sai hadn't thought he'd have to lie to these people right way. He had hoped for some games first...

'He only knew my name, we, uh, met on NetGo...' Sai trailed off there, he couldn't think of anything more to say as he really didn't know enough about Internet or NetGo. Hopefully they wouldn't ask him too much about it. A niggling bud of worry started in his belly; he was pretty sure they would. If not now than later.

'Say,' a new voice said, one Sai hadn't heard before, 'You're the one that was here last week, that's everybody's been raving about ever since?' Sai's face colored again; they have been raving about him? He nodded, indicating the answer to the man's question.

'I wasn't here last week but I'd really like to play you now.' the man said.  
'Hey! I was gonna ask him first!' a more familiar voice said. He was one of the men Sai had played before, 6 stones, good defense, needs work on attack strategies.

'And what about me?' The man who had spoken up was one Sai had played at 7 stones and had a good offence, but was very poor at reading deeper into the game. His name was Terauchi-san, if Sai remembered correctly.

There were more vying for Sai's attention on the Goban and presently the owner had him seated and the first man who had asked to play him was instructed on how to play the blind man by old man Soga.

/'So everything worked out with the Go-pro at that fancy Go club, Kawai-kun took you to?'/ the owner almost whispered in Sai's left ear, taking advantage of the distraction of Soga's explanations to Sai's new opponent.  
/'You knew about that?'/ Sai was shocked, he wouldn't have thought the owner would have condoned Kawai's action of dumping the blind man with a bunch of strangers.

/'I didn't like the idea at first, but Kawai-kun was right, you had to find out what your level was, and that couldn't be done here. When he returned without you I assumed they were a better match for you, and you decided to stay. I'm glad to see you and all, but what are you doing here? You really should be playing those people.'/ the man asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.

Sai had been relieved to hear the owner had not known that Kawai had just left him at the other club. But the man's assertion that Sai should there and not be here, worried him. He vehemently hoped the owner would not send him away, because where would he go than?

/'There wasn't any sort of problem, was there?'/ the owner added, when the blind man didn't respond straight away.  
/'I, uhm, met some new people there and I slept over at one of the pro's place for a few nights,'/ Sai didn't want to name Ogata. /'But, uhm, we had a falling out, of sorts, and I don't know if I want to go back there.../' he confessed.  
/'I see,/' the owner said pensively. /'Well, you're perfectly welcome here anytime,'/ he said cheerfully and clamped a big hand on Sai shoulder, stepping back before Sai could thank him.

Sai's opponent was called Doumoto and the owner and old man Soga advised him to play Sai at a 7 stone handicap, even though the man objected at the perceived insult to his Go ability.

As Sai responded to the first move, placing the corresponding stones on his imaginary Goban, a wave a pure happiness went through him. He was playing Go again, with the prospect of many more games today, how marvelous! Everything else in his life faded to the background, and his world narrowed to a 19 by 19 grid once more.

xXXx

About 50 hands into the game Sai was having serious doubts about the recommended handicap the owner and Soga-san had set for this player. This man needed more like 9 or 10 stones, Sai thought. He didn't want to pulverize his opponent! Apart from the fact that that would be rude, it made for very poor Go and made the player who did the pulverizing look like a bully. And that was surely not what Sai wanted!

He cast about at what to do; if he played on like this, crushing Doumoto was inevitable. Then Sai had an idea. He had seen the man had blind spot; he liked to play around the star points and tended to forget there was a center and sides too. How about Sai lead the other player there and showed him there was more room out there.

He called a coordinate that placed a stone near one of the sides of the board. This move would not gain him any territory, nor would it defend any existing territory, nor was it an offensive move. The move solely was meant to draw the other man's focus to a different location, and maybe he'd learn something new.

Sai waited with baited breath if his move had the desired effect. He had led opponents around the board before but always with the intent of getting them at a disadvantage, never before just to teach them new possibilities.

Doumoto thought for a long time, before he finally put a stone next to Sai's. It was almost as if he were asking the blind man, 'Where are we going?' or 'What are you showing me here?'. Sai played more stones at that location, not trying to set traps or gain ground, to which Doumoto answered with more questioning stones. After the blind man was satisfied the other had realized that this was a location one could play at, he played his next move at /tengen/; the center of the board.

His opponent again followed him and they started a merry dance around the center star. Once Sai was satisfied that this location had been pointed out enough he turned back to more seriously playing the game. Overall the board was now a big mess with only a cohesive battle field around the first star point they had started the game with. Sai started to strengthen his formation there, while Doumoto tried to get a foot in as well.

Sai was absolutely delighted that once his opponent had decided there was nothing more he could do at the star point, he moved to the only clear bit of space that was left, close to the side of the board and not anywhere near a star. Wow. The man had actually learned, after Sai had shown him the way. The feeling of accomplishment made Sai's hands tingle.

oOOo

It was after the game that the trouble started. Sai was sitting back in his chair, nursing a plastic cup of green tea the owner had gotten him, still very satisfied with himself when Doumoto spoke.  
'You played /shidogo/ with me, didn't you?' he asked, sounding miffed.  
/Shidogo/?  
'What is /shidogo/,' Sai asked, genuinely ignorant.  
'Don't play dumb with me! You can't play /shidogo/ with someone at 7 stones and still win, and then tell me you don't know what /shidogo/ is!'

Sai pulled both his arms in front of himself, would have spilled his drink had he not finished it already, in a defensive move at the tone of the man. Doumoto's voice had come from above him, indicating the man had gotten up and was looming over the blind man. And he sounded very very angry.

/Not again/, was all Sai could think. Why did he keep getting into trouble? Every time he had tried something new with Go, somebody ended up mad at him.  
Sai pulled his arms up higher and pleaded, /'Don't hit me,'/ his voice no more than a whisper.  
'Doumoto-san!' the owners voice called. 'Leave him be. He probably really doesn't know. He didn't learn to play Go until a week ago!'

The looming presence moved away and Sai slowly let down his arms from over his head, keeping them in front of his chest, just in case.  
'What? A week ago? That's impossible! I don't believe it!' The man had stepped back some, but Sai didn't feel safe enough to relax quite yet.

'It's true,' old man Soga interjected, 'I was there when he walked in the door. I saw Owner-san play him for the first time. Played him right after, twice, and saw him grow before my eyes. It was marvelous!'  
Sai lowered his arms and started to blush with the praise.

'Doumoto-san,' the owner said, 'I've never heard Mayō here, I mean Fujiwara, tell an untruth, I don't even think he could, so you can believe him when he says he doesn't know something.'  
Sai's blush drained away. Never tell an untruth? He had not lied about not knowing /shidogo/ but his stomach squeezed at the reminder of the lies he had told earlier. He had lied to these people, who hadn't been anything but nice and honest to him, and he knew he would have to lie again if their questions became too awkward. The prospect gave the blind man chills.

'Well alright, if you say so Owner-san,' Doumoto conceded, having moved back to his position at the other side of the Goban.

'/Shidogo/ is when you use your moves to teach your opponent something about game strategy, during the game. /Shidogo/ means teaching-go. Winning is not the aim, teaching is. And it's only possible to use the technique if the teacher is much stronger at Go than the pupil.' Soga patiently explained to the blind man.

Only if the teacher is much stronger? Maybe Sai should have expected to be stronger than his current opponent, but he really hadn't thought about it in those terms. If he had played /shidogo/ at a 7 stone disadvantage and still had won then...

'Doumoto-san, forgive me!' Sai bowed deeply. 'I meant no insult! I just wanted to make the game last longer and I had noticed you seemed to skip certain areas of the board. I, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry...' he trailed off.  
A silence fell. Had he made it worse by apologizing?

'Apology accepted,' the other man finally said, sounding a touch reluctant. Sai found himself exhaling. Maybe he had not made an enemy after all. And the blind man hoped that over time he could make him a friend.

xXXx

'Now I want to play you,' Soga announced.  
'Hey, I said that I wanted to before you did!' a voice came from behind him. The 6 stone player, whose name he could not quite recall.  
'Age before beauty, I want to gauge his strength,' the old man said and that seemed to settle the argument as the Goban was cleared and the /goke/ refilled.

Again the owner took the opportunity to whisper into Sai left ear.  
/'There was a phone call earlier for you, while you were playing. A fellow called Ogata was looking for you.'/  
Oh no, Ogata had tracked him down? How could he have?  
/'You didn't tell him I'm here did you?'/ Sai tried to keeps his voice to a whisper too.  
/'No, I didn't think you'd like me to.'/  
/'Oh good. Thank you,'/ the blind man sighed in relief. He did not want Ogata to know anything about this place right now.

/'Is that the same Ogata-pro that holds the Jūdan title?'/ the owner inquired.  
Sai hadn't heard the name of the title Ogata held, but there couldn't be many Ogata's with high Go rankings and a title out there, so chances were that it was him. Sai nodded.

/'Is that also the one who you had the falling out with?'/ was the owner's next question.  
Sai gave a single nod. He wasn't going to lie about it, but he did wish the owner would drop the subject soon.  
/'So you have a contact number?'/  
Again a single nod.  
/'Look, you'd better call him, he sounded really worried. He said he's been calling every Go-club in Tokyo looking for you.'/  
Ogata was worried? Or was he merely upset his pet ran away? No, that was not a very charitable thought, Sai chastised himself.

The owner was right of course, and Sai knew it. But he didn't feel like talking to the titleholder just yet. Especially not now that Soga announced he was ready to play.  
/'Maybe later,'/ he told the owner dismissively and then pointed all his attention at the game and his repeat opponent.

oOOo

Soga had claimed all the corner stars and /tengen/ as his 5 stone head start.  
'Don't molly coddle me now, sonny, I want to see your current strength, so play me properly.' the man commanded.  
Sai nodded and then concentrated on the game.

It was within the first 30 moves that Sai started to notice a very unsettling fact; the 5 stones that he had played the man at last week, were not the right number. It should be nearer 7 or 8. But that did not tally with the number 5 they had correctly settled on a week ago.

By move 51 Sai was sorely tempted to go easy on the old man. With the way he was clobbering the man right now, this game would be over really soon. But Soga had insisted, no 'molly coddling', and going against his express command seemed more disrespectful to Sai than clobbering him. But still, it hurt the blind man to have to eviscerate someone in this way, even if they had asked for it.

By move 68 Soga resigned. There was not a battlement of his left standing and if they had counted the man's points, they would have come up with 0.

This is not how Sai wanted to play Go, pounding an opponent into the ground, it was horrible, it made him feel dirty, like was an utter bully. He vowed never to do it again.

The former ghost who had tried to hide his moist eyes behind his hand since move 56, now lowered it and said, 'I'm so sorry, I...'  
'Don't you dare apologize!' the old man barked.  
'I asked, and now I know. You are not to blame.' Soga's voice had softened somewhat. He paused before continuing slowly. 'When Kawai-kun told me he had taken you to the pro-Go club and just left you there, I was not pleased. He said that you belonged there and not here. Why would you not belong here? Are we not good enough for you? I thought.' The old man audibly exhaled. 'But now that I played you, at full strength, I realize he was right. You grew into a giant in the few days you've been away. We're like ants now. You belong there and not here, Fujiwara-sensei.' Soga let out a long sight.

Everyone was silent, as tears ran down the blind man's face. Sai wanted to scream 'No that's not true! I belong here, with you!' But he knew it was a lie. Here he'd never play anyone of his own level, here he'd never have the chance to even glimpse the Hand of God. Here his Go could never grow, and he feared that very soon he'd resent that fact.

Sai covered his face with his hand and started crying in earnest. This was not his home, or his haven, and the rejection hurt him deeply.

oOOo

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 12*: Chapter 12

Chapter 12

They let him cry for a while and then the owner offered him tea and a few tissues and with those some semblance of normality returned. The owner and some of the other patrons tried to console him with some platitudes, for which Sai thanked them sincerely.  
Then someone suggested the blind man play 2 games simultaneously to take his mind of it, and another suggested he not bothering with 2 or 3 but go straight for 4 simultaneous games. It all sounded great to the blind man, who gave them a watery smile.

They set up the 4 Gobans and soon Sai was sitting with a sandwich in his hand and 4 glowing Gobans in his mind, each with a 5 stone head start for his 4 opponents. All thoughts of where he belonged were forgotten in favor of the black and white stones and the near infinite permutations in which they could be placed on the four as yet unplayed boards.

xXXx

The four simultaneous games were a lot of fun. Sai had decided not to worry too much about winning or losing or playing seriously or not. As it happened he won all four games, but he knew that if he had played anywhere near seriously he would have done it in less than half the time. But he really didn't want to win faster; he wanted to enjoy the games and make them last. And maybe create a great looking board.  
He didn't do so good on the great looking part, having had to give up that notion in favor of actually winning the games. No, he wasn't quite able to give up on winning, he'd found.

This time his opponents wanted to discuss the games, and they quickly made him admit he had not been playing full out. For a moment Sai thought they'd be angry at him, but the owner (who had played the second board) assured him it was fine, and that they had all enjoyed it.

The discussion had quickly centered around the third board, that had been played by a man Sai had played the week before at 6 stones. It had been the one game Sai had taken more seriously. Not because the opponent was particularly strong, he wasn't, but he had made some interesting moves and Sai had decided to test him in his agility throughout the game. So this was the game that generated the most questions, which both players were happy to answer, each to their own level of skill.

It wasn't until the players started to clear away the stones that a young voice spoke up from behind him.  
'Hello Sai,' Hikaru said.  
Sai whirled in his chair, his face breaking in a big grin. Hikaru was here! His friend was here!

'Hikaru! What are you doing here? How long have you been here? How'd know I was here?' he asked in rapid succession.  
'A while. Ogata phoned me,' the boy said.  
No! That busybody!  
'You didn't tell him you knew where I was did you?' the former ghost demanded. Ogata had actually phoned the young pro? Sai didn't quite know what to make of that in light of the fact that the boy and the man did not seem to get along.

'Of course not,' Hikaru soothed him. 'But he was very upset, he said something about you running off and that he had meant to give you your money, but you were gone too fast. What's this about money?' the boy wanted to know.  
'Uh, well Kawai-san made a bet on my winning against Ogata-sensei, on Thursday. Uh,...' Sai stopped talking as a he had heard a collective gasp at the mention of winning against Ogata.  
'And you won, of course,' Hikaru completed Sai's story. There was another gasp.  
'Uh, yes, uh...'  
'So how big was the bet?' questioned the owner.  
'Uhm..., it was ¥50,000,' the blind man confessed.  
This time the gasp was followed by people whispering to each other.

'And Ogata had not given you the money yet,' Hikaru concluded. He gave an aspirated sigh and added, 'That's just typical, turns out he's a skinflint too! I never trusted that creep anyway.'  
No, that was not right; Ogata had been very generous and kind to the blind man, and did not deserve to be called such names!  
'That's not true, Hikaru,' Sai admonished. 'Ogata-san was very kind to me in letting me stay at his place. He really doesn't deserve such words.'  
And Sai realized that was the truth; Ogata had let a total stranger stay at his house, even offering to let him stay inside all on his own on Saturday morning. Why Sai could have been a thief and could have cleaned out the titleholders flat anytime!

'So why did you run away from him then?' Hikaru asked very astutely.  
Why had he? Because he'd felt boxed in. And because he had been so very upset. He was now calmed down enough to realize that had been a major factor. And, he could admit now, because he felt he might not be able to pay the man back, ever. But all of that was none of the boy's business and he had no intention of talking to him about it.

Sai kept silent. It was that or lie.

After an uncomfortable silence Hikaru said, 'Fine. I don't want to know anyway.' He plunked down on a chair and added, 'Now that we're both here, what do you want to do?'

The answer to that one was a no-brainer.  
'Play Go,' Sai enthused.  
'I meant where are you going to sleep?' Hikaru sounded inpatient.

Well, that took the former ghost's mood down a peg or two. Where was he going to sleep tonight? Sai didn't want to talk to Ogata right now, much less see him, both of which were likely to happen if he was sleeping over at his place, so that was out. And he really didn't want to go back to the shelter, ever again. That left asking Hikaru for a place to stay, also not an option for more than one night.

Apparently the blind man was silent so long that Hikaru answered his own question. 'You're coming home with me.'  
'But Hikaru,' Sai tried to formulate an argument to dissuade him, but the boy was faster.  
'I'll call my mother, check if it's okay for tonight, and we'll see where it goes from there. Okay?'  
One night at a time, that was good. 'Okay,' the former ghost confirmed.  
Hikaru made the call on his cell phone and after his mother had agreed he flipped the phone closed and declared, 'Now we play.'

xXXx

As before every person present at the Heart of Stone Go club watched the blind man play. But this time the game was at quite a different level; this was at a professional level. Even if one of the two had not officially been a professional in this lifetime.  
It was the second time that Sai played his protégé, and it was no less satisfying than the first.

The blind man found that after playing many weaker opponents with a deluge of handicap-stones placed, changing his strategies to butt heads with true strength at an equal level was quite a shift. It nearly cost him his victory, but he managed to make the change fast enough that the few /moku/ he'd fallen behind were quickly earned back.

There was an odd move made by Hikaru early in the game. Since Sai knew the boy was really good at thinking deeply into the game, the first thing he did when he spied the move, was to try and figure out why the stone was placed where it was. He took his time over this but he couldn't quite grasp his opponents reasoning, so he had to let it be for a while. Periodically during the game he'd take time out to try and make the odd stone fit some sort of strategy. It wasn't until the third try that he found what seemed like a plausible solution to his conundrum. It pleased the blind man that the solution he found was rather neat; it tallied with Hikaru's previous strategies of similar style.

But now that Sai had found the solution early he could actively work against the gambit, instead of having to react to the situation and try to salvage it once it was upon him, as he had done yesterday.

Within 3 moves Sai detected a change in the boy's breathing, faster and shallower, indicating he was getting nervous. Gotcha. The former ghost started to press home his advantage and basically bulldozered over the part of Hikaru's formation he had delicately dismantled in those decisive 3 moves.  
Hikaru resigned some 10 moves later.

'Thank you for the game,' Hikaru said formally. 'You didn't go easy on me this time, thanks,' he added, sounding pleased.  
'You're welcome,' was Sai's response, but before he could continue on to the post game discussion, a load voice interrupted him and a meaty hand clapped him on the back.  
'Well done, well done!' Kawai's voice boomed from behind him. 'See I told you guys! Now that's pro-style Go!' The hand left his shoulder and presently Sai heard Hikaru yelp.

'And Shindou-pro's pretty good too, but nothing like our Mayō-sensei, no sir!' Kawai had to bellow louder to be heard over Hikaru's protests at being squelched.  
Sai covered the smile on his face with his hand. Kawai was impossible at the best of times, but if you could accept that character flaw, he'd make a good loyal friend, Sai was sure.

Sounds of groans and complaints were still coming from Hikaru, along with comments about Hikaru's supposed lack of Go skills from Kawai. A few moments later Sai started to detect a real note of distress in Hikaru's tone, so he said,  
'Kawai-san, could you unhand my friend, please?'  
The sounds of struggles stopped along with Hikaru's yelping.  
'Kawai, you /baka/, you messed my tie!'

There were sounds of clothing being rearranged. Hikaru wore a tie? While Sai had not actually seen Hikaru with anything but his mind's eye, he just could not picture the boy wearing a tie! Then a horrible thought came to him; when he had been at pro players' Go club, he had first worn his rags and yesterday a jogging suit that had been slightly too big for him. If even a young Go pro like Hikaru wore a tie, how big a fashion faux pas had the blind man made? Why he must have looked like a slob! No wonder the bookseller had commented on his attire, knowing he was a friend of a Go pro.  
Sai realized suddenly that no matter where he belonged he'd need to dress the part better!

'Ahw, it looks better on you crooked,' Kawai joked.  
'Hey, stop that! Lay off of my hair!' Hikaru yelped. But before the two could go for a second round, Sai decided to speak up, before he lost the courage to, there was a matter he could and should resolve right now.

'Kawai-san, can I speak to you for a moment? In private?' he added.

With a puzzled note in his voice the cabby accepted and the owner led them to a small room, apologizing that there was no furniture inside, as it was a store room, nothing more. It worked for the purpose of privacy, and that was all that mattered.

oOOo

As soon as the owner had left both spoke at once.  
'Look, about the money...'  
'Geez, I'm sorry I...'  
Both fell silent.  
Sai started again, after taking a long breath.  
'About the money, I'll pay you back as soon as I can,' he said.

Kawai was silent for a moment.  
'Whatcha mean, pay me back? If you're talking about the bet money, you won that fair and square, ain't got nothin' to do with me! So, don't you be telling me about paying it back, d'yah wanna insult me, or sumthin'?'  
'Uh, no of course not,' Sai stammered. He hadn't for a moment expected the cabby might be insulted, if he had he would have... Well, he wasn't sure what, but something.

'But you put up your cab for it. You might have lost!' Sai argued.  
'Like I said before, no chance; you always win.' Kawai said nonchalantly.  
'But,' the blind man tried one last time. But the other interrupted him. 'No buts. Case closed. Refusing to hear anything more about it,' he added when Sai opened his mouth to speak.

'And any ways..., I owe you an apology, old man Soga was right; I should not have just dumped you there. Ogata-sensei promised to take care of ya, and ya still ended up back here. I'm so sorry, I really thought I could trust that guy...'  
Sai had to take a moment to digest all that.

So Kawai hadn't just dumped him at the fancy Go-club, he had talked Ogata into taking care of him. A fact that the pro-player had not told the blind man. Why? Well, that was a question only one man could answer, and Sai was not quite ready to talk to him yet.

'I stayed in the cab, in front of the club for another half hour, just in case you'd come running out or somethin', but when you didn't I figured it worked out okay. And I did give the sensei my number,' Kawai rattled on, 'and he used it today, to ask me if I knew where you'd gone... So, I guess it didn't quite work out after all, and for that I'm so sorry.'

So, Ogata had called everybody. Sai wondered if he'd called the shelter too; that would piss off Mr. Uwayaku, as he didn't like personal calls during the day time. (A fact the blind man had found those 3 winter days he'd spent inside the office because he'd been having a fever and it was below freezing outside. Mr. Uwayaku had been **very** put out.).

He realized somberly that he'd have to call Ogata to check if he had called the shelter, and then he'd have to call the shelter and apologize. Of course asking Ogata meant he'd have to talk to Ogata, which started to seem to be inevitable. Sai gave a deep sigh.

First things first, though.  
'It's not your fault, it's mine,' the former ghost said.  
'And I'm the only one who can make it right. I need to call Ogata-san...,' he pondered. He'd have to ask the owner for the use of a phone, but then Ogata would know where he was. He'd need a...  
'Use my phone,' the cabby offered, seemingly having read the blind man's mind.

The phone was thrust into his hand, but he had to give it back and ask the other man to dial, as he didn't quite know how cell-phones worked.

Ogata picked up on the first ring.  
'/Moshi moshi/?' Ogata sounded tired and upset.  
'Ogata-san,' was all Sai said.  
'Fujiwara-san! Finally! Are you okay? Where are you? I can come get you!'  
The blind man stopped the torrent of questions with a firm, 'Ogata-san.'  
'Sorry,' the titleholder sounded positively meek.  
'I'm fine, I'm safe, and no, I don't need to be picked up,' Sai answered the questions.  
'I hear you've been calling all and sundry looking for me? Please stop.' The blind man knew he sounded angry but he couldn't keep that tone out of his voice, even though he tried.

'Okay,' Ogata said, sounding contrite.  
'I need to know. Did you call the shelter too?' Sai asked.  
'No, not yet.'  
The former ghost breathed a small sigh of relief; he wouldn't have to call Mr. Uwayaku to clear up the mess after all.  
'Good.' Sai searched for the right words for what he wanted to say, deciding on the direct approach.  
'Ogata-san, we need to talk.' There, he'd said it. There was a soft groan on the other side of the line. And one from Kawai who was still standing beside him.

'Okay. Where?' came over the line after a brief pause.  
Sai didn't want the titleholder to find out about the Heart of Stone; this was his place, even if it was not to be his haven. And Ogata may or may not know Hikaru's address, both being pros and everything, but what with the animosity between the two, keeping them as far apart as possible, seemed like an excellent idea. So that left out meeting at Hikaru's home. That left the shelter or a public place...

'Uh, the Go-club?' Sai suggested. 'If I can get there somehow...'  
'I'll pick you up where ever you like,' the pro player piped up immediately.  
'I can take you,' Kawai said at the same time. Yes, that was a much better idea, that way Ogata wouldn't know where Sai was coming from.

'Kawai will bring me,' he said into the phone.  
'Tonight?' Ogata asked.  
No, that was too soon, the thought of meeting tonight made Sai feel cold and clammy; he wasn't ready. And anyway, he was going home with Hikaru tonight and he wanted to make the most of that.

'Tomorrow,' he said.  
'But where are you sleeping tonight?' Ogata asked.  
Sai was tempted to just say 'none of your business,' but it struck him as rude. Instead he said, 'I have something arranged.'  
'Not the shelter, I hope?' Ogata pushed.  
'No, not the shelter,' Sai confirmed crisply, deciding that that was the last he would say on the subject. Ogata apparently had read the short answer for what it was, and changed the subject.

'What time?' he asked.  
'... Not sure, I'll need to call back for that.' Sai wanted to end the call now. The whole thing was starting to make him feel nauseous with stress. He really needed time to figure out what he owed this man, and what he could afford to give him in payment, if anything. And what he wanted to do after that.

'Look, for what it's worth I'm...' the titleholder started but the blind man interrupted by saying, 'Not now, tomorrow,' and hung up. It hadn't felt right to hear out the man's apology, for Sai felt that more than half the fault had been his own. The sick feeling stayed with him, making his shiver a bit. He was not looking forward to the confrontation tomorrow.

'Okay, awkward much...' the cabby commented.  
Oops, Sai had forgotten the man was there.  
'Thank you for offering to take me tomorrow, Kawai-san,' he said and bowed.  
'Nah, no problem. But say, if you're not at his place tonight or the shelter, where...?' the cabby asked.  
'Hikaru invited me over,' the blind man replied.  
'You know Shindou-kun?' the man asked. Realizing the man was somewhat out of the loop, Sai gave him the short version of what he had revealed to Ogata and Touya about his true name and Hikaru's part in knowing it.

'Well congrats!' Kawai wildly pumped his hand. 'Knowing your true name, that's awesome! Ah, and don't worry about the rest, it'll all come back to yah, give it time!' He slapped his hand against Sai's back in enthusiasm, nearly knocking the slender man over.

xXXx

Once they come out of the small room and back in the noisy club proper, Hikaru pounced on Sai with questions. Hikaru was not happy to learn Sai was going to talk to the titleholder, but was pacified some when he learned they meant to meet on neutral turf.

'Yeah, the Touya Go Salon is a good place to talk, Touya and I have had many a good fight there.' Hikaru mussed.  
'Hikaru, I didn't know that club belonged to Touya!' Sai exclaimed. Oddly he was shocked; the Touyas must be very rich to own their own Go club.

'Technically it's his dad's, of course, but I do believe Touya owns stocks in it too. He said his dad gave him some when he became a pro. Lucky him!' Hikaru informed him.  
'So being a pro player is a good living?' Sai asked. His reason for asking was twofold; firstly he wanted to know if his protégé could make a living out of it and secondly, Sai dreamed of someday becoming a pro player himself, and he really wanted to know if it would be enough to pay the rent on a home of his own. Now there was a thing worth striving for...

'I'll tell you all about it on the way home; I promised mom I'd be there for dinner, and it's at least an hour on the subway, so we'd better get going.' Hikaru said cheerfully.

The subway. The blind man regarded the idea with some trepidation; his one and only experience had been that time his social worker had taken him from the shelter to the hospital for his last check-up after the accident. It had been just after he had learned to walk to Trade Square and back, and he hadn't been anywhere else yet.  
The man had been too impatient to let Sai find his way under his guidance the way Miss Kaori had done. No, he had dragged the blind man by the arm all the way to the hospital, losing him once in the crowd. And there he had bullied an 'idle' ambulance driver into taking Sai back after the doctor was done. All in all it had been a big disaster, and while Sai would blindly follow Hikaru anywhere he wanted to go, Sai'd really rather not go on the subway ever again.

He was about to protest when Kawai butted in.  
'I'll take ya where ever you wanna go,' he offered. 'It ain't no good takin' a blind guy on the subway, you know,' he added. Sai knew Kawai meant well, and what he said was true enough, but saying it made the blind man feel his handicap more, and that hurt.

'Oh yeah, right,' Hikaru stammered, sounding as embarrassed as Sai felt, if for different reasons. 'Geez, thanks, Kawai-san, I guess we could use the lift.'

They said their goodbyes to the owner and patrons of the Heart of Stone Go club. The owner assured Sai again he was welcome anytime, but Sai was starting to come to terms with the fact that he truly didn't belong here, though he hoped he would be able to come visit again, from time to time.

oOOo

Don't forget to review!  
Review = love#love#love!

## *Chapter 13*: Chapter 13

Chapter 13

During the cab ride to Hikaru's house, the boy talked about the Go pro world as promised. Sai listened carefully as the young pro explained about the intricacies of being a Go pro.

'So winning titles is what gets you the big bucks, but before you get there, you are paid for playing games in the /oteai/ at the Go institute and you can make loads of money tutoring and playing request games. That's what I've been doing. Well, some anyway. Mom kinda insists I go to school until I'm 18. So I've struck a deal with her; I'm going to business college part time, so I can learn how to manage the money I make as a Go pro. It's on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the /oteai/ is on Wednesdays, once a month, and on other Wednesdays there are prelims for title tournaments. Those that pass the first prelims play on Mondays or Fridays. Unfortunately I haven't qualified for the next level yet... Anyways, the rest of the time I have tutoring to give or study groups to go to or I play Touya at the club!'

It sounded like a fairytale life to the blind man; the perfect life. He wanted to become a Go pro, more than anything in the world, he told his friend so.  
'Well, of course you do! Man, I never met someone more obsessed with Go that you. Well, maybe Touya..., or Ochi..., or Ogata... Hey, ouch! Quit that, you Go obsessed freak! All you Go players are a bunch of single minded nerds, with delusions of grandeur! Ouch!'

Hikaru really was such a baby; all Sai had done was dig an elbow gently in the boy's side. The blind man pulled up his nose the boy's assertions, even if he did not quite know what a /nerd/ was, causing Hikaru to start laughing so hard Sai could feel him shake next to him.

The boy ended up hugging the former ghost saying between snickers, keeping his voice low,  
/'Man, that look on your face, god how I missed that!'/ His giggles over, the boy continued seriously, /'It was hell when you just disappeared on me, I blamed myself, you know, you tired to warn me but I didn't listen, just bulldozed right over what you said.'/ The boy let go of the blind man and set up adding, /'I'm so so sorry about that...'/

The former ghost didn't quite know how to respond to that. He didn't remember any of these events and while he could make a stab at how he must have felt then, he didn't actually know and any absolution he could give the boy would be kind of worthless.

He was saved from having to respond, by Kawai who announced their arrival.  
Before they got out of the cab Sai managed to whisper a request to pay Kawai for his services in Hikaru's ear.  
/'Man, must I?'/ the boy whined.  
/'Yes, if you have a job, you must.'/ The blind man insisted. /'I'll pay you back later,'/ he added.  
/'Don't you dare,'/ the young pro hissed under his breath, /'I ain't taking your money, ever!'/  
Sai was a little taken aback with the boy's vehemence, but it kind of felt good to be taken care of by a friend. Even if it was in a roundabout sort of way.

xXXx

Sai measured and marked everything about getting into the Shindou residence. All information about where there was a step up just before entering the front door, or where to place his sandals, or where the front room was, and where the stairs brought him to Hikaru's own room, was carefully combined into an as yet sketchy map in his head. It was a floating piece of information, of course, since he had nowhere he could attach it to his 'Grand Map of Known-To-Himself Tokyo'.  
Hikaru's mom provided the name of the nearest subway station, in the course of dinner conversation, so the blind man loosely attached the house to that point on his stylized subway map. It was better than nothing...

oOOo

Diner was good if slightly awkward. Hikaru's mother obviously hadn't expected her son's guest to be a fully grown blind man, with a cast on one wrist. Some practical rearranging of dinner had to happen. She cut the noodles in the ramen soup she had first served in a regular bowl and poured Sai's portion in a big mug with an ear he could hold onto, so he could drink them instead of trying to chase the slippery doughy ribbons with chopstick or spoon. For the cold foods that were served on the side, she provided a fork and Hikaru would spear the food Sai could not see.

The situation also affected her conversational skills, making her very flustered and Sai felt quite some sympathy for her. He deliberately kept the subjects general, carefully steering the conversation away from anything about his personal life; he didn't think she'd want to know he (had) lived in a homeless shelter.

The blind man was very grateful at that moment that he had put on his new clothes this morning, otherwise the nice lady would have seen through him quickly enough. Yes, being dressed better, more normal, it seemed that people treated one more normally too. A person was judged by his appearance, however unfair that was, it was a universal truth.

xXXx

After the dinner was eaten, Sai thanked his host formally and asked for confirmation that it was all right for him to stay over. Mrs. Shindou confirmed it readily enough, and the blind man felt relieved he wasn't putting her out.

As they boy and the former ghost entered the Hikaru's bedroom, Sai said, 'Your mom's nice.'  
'Yeah, I suppose,' the young pro said absentmindedly as he rushed forward and started making shuffling noises.

The blind man stood quite still just inside the room, waiting for his friend to finish clearing up. When he was finished, the boy bade him sit on the floor, directing him verbally on where to go and the former ghost glided forward and found himself gathering his legs under him and sitting in /seiza/ position; sitting on both legs with his back straight and his head held high. He put his folded cane by his right leg on the floor, freeing his hand from the strap, and rested both his hands on his knees, the right palm down, the left he let roll to a position that made the cast lie still on his thigh.

Since he had woken up in the hospital, now well over a year ago, he had sat in /seiza/ only a handful of times. But never had it felt this natural, this normal, like he had sat here like this a thousand times before.  
He enjoyed the odd feeling of homecoming a little longer before he asked, 'Did we used to play here, like this?'  
'Ah-hun,' the boy confirmed, his voice coming from straight in front of the blind man. 'Just like this. Our Goban is right in front of you,' he added.

Sai instinctually stretched out his right hand, his fingertip encountering the edge of the wooden Goban. As his fingers slid across the surface, encountering the lines that were deliberately cut into the wood, differentiated by their uniformity from the ones nature had put there, Sai reflected how strange it was that while he had played Go so many times in the last week, this was only the third time had actually touched the board. The other times he had had no opportunity to do more than lay his fingers on it briefly, so now the blind man took his time exploring this mini universe made of wood.

He wondered what it had been like to hold and play your own stones, and what he'd have seen in his opponents faces. The way he played now only gave him his mind's eye view of the board, beyond its illumination the world was still inky black. Hikaru had implied that when Sai had been a ghost the boy had to play the stones, as the ghost could not affect anything physical. The blind man realized with a pang that his situation had, in that respect, not changed much from his ghostly existence; he still could not play himself, he still needed others to place his stones. That his opponents had done so willingly enough gladdened Sai, and silently he thanked them for giving him the ability to play.

As his fingers flowed over the surface and sides of the Goban, even dipping low to finger a leg, Sai couldn't help but wonder about his first life, where he could touch and see; the life he had been born into.

'Hikaru, could you tell me some more of me when I was first born?' he asked tentatively.  
'Uhm, well, I told you about the emperor's court and the game you lost to the cheater, I'm not sure there's more to tell...' the boy sounded chagrined, but before Sai could ask Hikaru continued.  
'You see, I wasn't very interested at the time, I thought I could always be interested later, that you'd always be there 'later', but then you disappeared so suddenly and time had run out...' he stammered. 'I know I should have asked but I didn't and I've been kicking myself ever since...'

Sai was very disappointed; he so desperately wanted to remember his former life. He had hoped that when Hikaru told him, he'd see the scenes before, if only in flashes. But if he himself had not told the boy more about his past back then, then now the boy could not tell him about it. The former ghost's only hope would be the reemergence of his own memory. A prospect that seemed very bleak because so far only the tiniest glimpse of memory had come to him and all of those had been directly or indirectly triggered by Hikaru. If the young pro could not aid him in remembering his first life, would he be able to remember any of it, ever?

Sai had grown used to going about with no past to draw on. He had accepted that as part of his life, like his blindness. But to now to come this close and to find the path barred was like a rejection of himself; it stung in a way that not knowing had not.

When Sai had met Hikaru a few days ago, a world had opened up for him, one in which he had a past, even if he would only get to know about through someone else. Now that door had slammed shut again, after giving him a tiny gimps of what was inside. His heart screamed at the injustice of it!

The former ghost tried to breathe out the sudden anguish, taking deep breaths. It was useless to dwell on that which could be changed. Or at the very least changed right now. He did hope his memories of his first life would come back someday, but he hardly thought forcing would or could help. So he let it go in his outgoing breath. And again. And again.

'Are you okay?' Hikaru asked a tinge of worry in his voice.  
Sai, having been roused out of his deep contemplation, finished breathing out his latest deep breath and withdrew his hand from the Goban.  
'I'm fine,' he said, placing his hand in back his lap. The disappointment hadn't quite gone away, but he felt calm enough to change the subject. For a moment he had contemplated asking the boy about the former ghost life with the other Go player, 150 years ago, but he wasn't at all sure he could handle it if Hikaru knew nothing more about that either.  
'Let's play,' he suggested. Yes, playing Go was safe and familiar, and he wanted that right now.  
'Okay!'

oOOo

Don't forget to review!

## *Chapter 14*: Chapter 14

Chapter 14

After a satisfying post game discussion, which first had been disturbed by Hikaru's mother bringing tea and sweet cakes, for which Sai thanked her formally after Hikaru had scoffed loudly at the interruption. They were interrupted again, now by Ogata calling Hikaru's cell phone demanding to know at what time the meeting would take place tomorrow. As Hikaru was busy tutoring in the morning, Sai set the meeting up at 10 am., leaving it to the boy to call Kawai and work out at what time they'd have to leave the house, in the morning.

After all that arranging Sai decided to try asking another question about their past together, with a safer subject this time.  
Sipping his green tea, he asked, 'So when I was a ghost, did I scare you?' Ah, that hadn't come out right; fear was hardly a safe subject.

'Scare me? You?' Hikaru smirked.  
Sai was slightly insulted at the incredulity in Hikaru's voice. Had he been such a lousy ghost he hadn't even been scary?  
'Aren't ghost suppose to be scary?' the former ghost queried, more than a little miffed.

Hiraru stopped laughing. 'Maybe, but you couldn't have scared a mouse,' he snickered. Then he suddenly stopped. 'No, that's not fair of me, you did scare me once, or really I did myself.' He took a breath, and Sai wondered what had happened.

'You see, you wanted to play the Meijin, badly, and we'd caught his attention. This is before I started playing for real, you see, and I'd taken you to a children's Go tournament to stop you whining about wanting to play Go. Well, when we were there you saw a player make a wrong move and you said so and, uh, I repeated it out loud and, uh, we got kicked out. But, you see, Ogata had seen it and, I think, he showed the Meijin and Ogata cornered me and brought me to him, 'cause he wanted to play the one who had commented on that move; so he really wanted to play you and I was sorta in the middle. And so we started to play and after a few hands that you directed, I started to feel really weird, like I knew where to play before you said it. So I got freaked and ran out, 'cause I thought you were takin' over my body, and I thought 'no way, Jose!',' the boy drew a breath.  
'But you explained that you couldn't take me over and that it had come from inside-ah me. You taught me how to hold the stones properly, right after that.'

'I'm glad I didn't scare you,' Sai said with feeling. He knew what real fear felt like and he didn't wish that upon anyone, most of all not on his young friend.  
'How old were you then?' he asked.  
'Uh, I was in 6th grade still, so 11,' the boy supplied.  
So young! The blind man felt disappointed in his former self for picking such a young person to haunt.

He almost didn't ask but he really needed to know,  
'Did I, uh, ever hurt you in anyway?' There, he'd said it.  
'Oh god no!' Hikaru sounded appalled at the suggestion. Sai breathed out in relief. Then the boy continued seriously,  
'The only time I got hurt because of you, was when you disappeared, without saying goodbye.  
I looked for you everywhere I could think of, I even went to Hiroshima, but you weren't there. I missed you so much,' he said with a bit of a wobble in his voice.  
'I'm so sorry,' Sai felt compelled to say. He'd caused his young friend such anguish, and that was upsetting, but it grieved Sai deeply that he couldn't remember the bonds of friendship that invoked the anguish. He wanted to remember the pain, not just hear about it.

Of course he knew the selfish thought for what it was, and reminded himself that Hikaru had not forgotten the pain of separation, had to live with it every day.  
'It wasn't your fault,' the boy stated with certainty, his tone flat now. It didn't make the former ghost feel better, though. And he was truly sorry for any grief he had caused the young pro, unwittingly or not.

He wondered if he really hadn't known he was going to disappear, but he didn't want to hurt the boy once more by asking. It would keep for a better time, he was sure.

'Thank you,' was all Sai said. /Thank you for not wanting to think ill of me. Thank you for keeping my former self company and letting me play. And thank you for caring about me./

Even if he hadn't known about it for the past year, the fact that someone had indeed missed him, it made all that he had been through a lot more bearable somehow.

xXXx

Sai slept like a baby on a futon on the floor of Hikaru's room. They had played deep into the night, and in between the games they had talked some more. Sai had tried and had mostly succeeded in keeping it all light by asking Hikaru about the day-to-day life they had shared together. There was a very amusing story about a Goban signed supposedly by Shuusaku and a lost game that the former ghost had turned into a winning one, and another about an antique cup and an even older plate, and that story also had a Go game in it.

Sai asked the young pro if he remembered the actual games, and mostly he did. As before when Hikaru had first told the former ghost his own story, images flickered in his mind at these new old tales. And, to the blind man's delight, the glimpses he got of those two games, when Hikaru started to recreate them, were enough to see them in full on his inner Goban. Sai memorized each game before wiping the virtual Goban, so it could be filled with the new game they were playing.

oOOo

Breakfast the next morning was quickly dealt with; Mrs. Shindou had prepared sandwiches, and even had prepared a stack for lunch for all three men, as Mr. Shindou was at breakfast too. Apart from introducing himself, Mr. Shindou did not take part in the breakfast conversation.

Sai thanked Hikaru's mother very politely but didn't tell her that without her sandwiches, he hadn't known where his lunch would be coming from that day. He was very grateful indeed, and he tried not to worry too much about tonight.

'Look, I can cancel my tutoring session, and come in with you if you want,' Hikaru said as they sat in the back of Kawai's cab, on the way to the Go salon.  
That was funny, Ogata had offered asking Touya to join them if it would make the blind man feel safer, when he called last night. Sai had turned the offer down then as he did Hikaru's now.

'Thank you, Hikaru, but I need to sort this myself,' he said.  
'Well okay, if you're sure,' the boy said reluctantly.  
'I'm sure.'

Kawai had left Hikaru parked in the taxi zone on the street with his cab as he escorted the blind man to the door of the Go club. All Sai's previous visits had been via the building's car park, never from the street. He memorized the short walk and elevator ride (he'd have to find the stairs later).

The cabby left him with a clap on the shoulder just inside the Go club, and hurried off, with instructions to call him if he needed a ride anywhere. Sai had wanted to give him some money for the ride, but the cabby was already gone.

xXXx

'Fujiwara.' Even though the voice was well known to the blind man, it startled him. Very silly of him, of course, since he was here to meet Ogata after all.  
'Ogata-san,' the former ghost acknowledged, swinging his cane out in front of him, moving towards the source of the sound. He swallowed down his nervousness.

Ogata bade him follow, and moved to the little conference room Sai and Hikaru had used to talk in a few days ago. Once the blind man was inside, the titleholder closed the door behind him, cutting off the sounds of the club patrons playing Go.

Sai had done a lot of thinking that morning when he had woken up at 6am. He now had some idea of what he wanted to say. He knew this moment was pivotal in their further relationship, would even decide if any relationship was possible between them. It was not unlike a decision to make a crucial move in one's plans on the Goban. All you could do is make the move and then your opponent's counter move will show you if you've messed up or not.

'Fujiwara, I...' came from in front of him.  
'Ogata-san, I owe you an apology,' the blind man interrupted him. 'I was upset and I said some things I should first have thought about, before saying them.' He held up a hand when he heard the other take a breath to start to speak. He really wanted to get it all out in one go; he may not be much of a man, but he did have his pride and having to admit he had made a fool of himself by misinterpreting Ogata's intentions, was hard. But if, by explaining his viewpoint, however misguided, to the other man, he could mend the rift between them, it would be worth the humiliation of showing his fears.

'Please, let me finish.' The titleholder stayed silent and Sai continued after a deep breath of his own.  
'I know now I overreacted, but at the time I felt very boxed in. When I lived at the shelter I never had anyone who had time for me, or looked after me other than my basic needs, but at the same time no-one stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. When I lived with you, you tried to keep me safe, as a friend, I think, but to me it felt like I as locked safely in a cage, more like a pet.

I don't know how friendship works; I've never had a friend before, and the whole arrangement... well, I guess it felt stifling. At the time anyway. Now that I've had a little time to think about it, I think you were more than patient with me, and I was much too demanding.' He bowed and said, 'If you're willing to forget the past, I will try to do better.'

Sai's stomach was tying itself in knots, while he waited for the other man to respond to his opening move. This morning he had come to the conclusion he wanted to try to be Ogata's friend again. And he so much wanted to play him again. And in the chill of the morning, he realized he had indeed misjudged Ogata's actions; they could easily be explained as one friend helping another. He had called himself a very inconsiderate fool for interpreting events in such a negative manner. Now he could only hope the pro-player would forgive his error and maybe they could start again from scratch.

After a long silence, and then Ogata said, 'No.' Sai's heart lodged firmly in his throat with that one word. Ogata was turning him down; Sai had ruined their friendship and Ogata was not going to forgive him. The blind man tried to swallow his heart down again but he couldn't. He felt his eyes become moist.

'You weren't too demanding,' the other man said.  
What?  
'Nor were you wrong,' Ogata continued, leaving Sai with his mouth hanging open in utter shock.  
'Oh hell,' the titleholder said, scraping the legs of a chair over the floor and sitting down.  
'I did some thinking too, you know, and I realized I _had_ been treating you like my pet. Hell, I even gave you my leftovers! And I was more than tempted to put a tracker on you when you went shopping, just so I could locate you if you got lost. I've never seen myself like this, but I did not want to let you, the genius of NetGo, who could still easily beat me, playing blind, while trying to stay awake after a very exhausting day, run lose in the world, where others could take you away from me. I was selfish and I wanted to keep you close so I could play you all the time, and use you as a means to get closer to winning more titles.'  
'But,' Sai started to say.  
'No, don't interrupt; it's my turn to talk.' Ogata's voice held a hard edge, effectively silencing the blind man.

'I've also realized that if I'm to see you as a friend, and I _do_ want you as a friend, and not as a pet, I need to do right by you.' He paused to take a breath.  
'I don't know what you're thinking, you're like some kind of enigma to me, so all I can do is just come out and ask you; as a friend, what can I do for you to help you feel happy? And free?' he added.

Sai was absolutely dumbfounded; Ogata wanted him back, just like that? The blind man had made horrible unfounded accusations and the other man had pled guilty to them all and still he wanted him as his friend? Sai felt the feeling go out of his legs and the world was tilting alarmingly. A strong arm caught him about the shoulders and there was a scraping of chair legs as the arm guided him to sit down.  
As fast as the faint had come upon him, it disappeared, leaving him the confusion, but now at least he could think again.

'What can I do to help you, what is it that you want most?' Ogata's voice came from beside him, where the man must be sitting on the other chair.  
Sai's confusion had not let up; his head was swimming with questions about Ogata's sudden apology. But the former ghost was fore mostly happy that everything looked to be fine between them, for now anyway.

'I want to play Go.' The response was so automatic; he'd said it without conscious thought.  
'Done, anytime, anywhere. Now what else do you want?' Ogata pushed.  
Sai contemplated that for a few moments, and then there was clarity about that too in his mind.  
'I want to be independent. I don't mind taking help when I need it but not for too long.' He paused to gather his thoughts, coming to the only conclusion there was. 'I need to get a job.' He thought briefly of the dish washing job he had had when he'd first come to the shelter, the whole miserable one hour of it.  
'A job I can actually do,' he specified.

'What kind of job would you take?' Ogata questioned.  
'Something with Go, I'd prefer, but I'll take anything.' A job involving Go would be the most wonderful, a dream come true. But Sai wasn't going to kid himself, who'd hire a blind man to play Go? Come to think of it, who would hire a blind man to do anything? With that thought, he fire he'd felt a moment ago went out abruptly. He hung his head in his hands.

'Who am I kidding? It'll never happen.' He hoped the tittleholder wouldn't see the tears that had gathered in his eyes. He really didn't want to cry before the other man, but try as he might he couldn't stop one or two tears escaping his control.

Chair legs scraped the floor as Ogata moved to stand up.  
'We shall see,' he said as he laid a warm hand on the blind man's shoulder. He stood like that for a moment more, then patted his friend once on the back and said, 'I'm setting up a Goban, come and join me when you're ready.' With that he left the blind man sitting alone in the small room, letting him compose himself in peace.

oOOo

A review! A review! My Kingdom for a review!

## *Chapter 15*: Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The game was a very good one, as Sai had fully expected when playing a man of Ogata's level. He had to look deeply into the game to out maneuver the titleholder, but outmaneuver him he did, claiming a very satisfying win, when Ogata resigned in the face of a loss of at least 5.5 /moku/. Sai was very proud of himself; it seemed he had gotten a little stronger compared to the pro player.

In the post game discussion, he decided to compensate for his gained strength by showing the other man the slight rigidity he had discovered (and exploited) in Ogata's game. Of course, as soon as he had shown it, he realized the titleholder might not like such criticism of his style, and the blind man spent a few very uncomfortable moments worrying, until Ogata spoke to thank him, and ask him to please, point out any such flaws in the future. Sai found himself blushing with relief and pride. He'd gotten it right for once.

They had lunch, Sai eating his pre-packed lunch and Ogata getting something from the club, talking Go all the while. The relaxed game and talk did much to reassure that things were indeed fine between them, and the blind man found himself basking in the companionship. Good food and great Go was definitely Sai's idea of heaven.

They were about to start another game when a cell phone jingle jangled from where Ogata was sitting. He answered it and then thrust the phone into Sai's hand, saying it was for him.

'Uh, moshi moshi?' he stammered into the device.  
'Sai, it's me!' The voice was distorted the way phones tended to do, but the blind man could easily recognize the young pro's voice on the other end.  
'Hikaru! How nice of you to call.' Why was he calling, nice though it was?  
'I'm done with my pupil here, do you want me to come over now, or after lunch? Is everything okay there?' he added, sounding unsure.  
'I'm fine,' he assured the boy. 'Either one, we've just had lunch, so maybe after would be best.'  
'Okay. As long as you're sure you're all right. I don't need to use some sort of code phrase do I? Um, like cough once if you can't talk freely, or something?'  
The former ghost had no clue what the boy talking about, so he answered, 'I don't have a cold so I don't need to cough. I'm just fine. Come over when you're done.' There was laughter on the other end.  
'Well okay then, I'll see you in an hour or so! Bye!'  
When the blind man heard that end of call tone, he held out the device for Ogata to take back.  
'I think I got laughed at,' he pouted at the titleholder.  
'Yeah, that Shindou is a strange kid,' Ogata said producing a medium sized smoke cloud.

xXXx

Just when they were contemplating playing another round, Touya walked in.  
'Good afternoon, Fujiwara-san, Ogata-sensei,' he greeted politely.  
The titleholder promptly offered the young pro his seat at the Goban, saying he had some things to take care of in the office.

/'Oh, that was quite rude actually!'/ the blind man exclaimed under his breath, following the man's footsteps speeding away. Well, maybe it wasn't rude for Ogata; the man tended to be short.

'Uhm, Touya-kun, if you had other plans, you don't have to play me you know...' he added.  
'I have a standing meeting with Shindou on Monday afternoons, I'm usually early and he's usually late. Today, I guess, Shindou is out of luck because I get to play you first.' Touya said in a perfectly serious tone.  
'Okay, let's play then!' Sai said as Touya took a seat at the other side of the Goban and noisily cleared away the previous game.

oOOo

Touya was a solid player, he hardly ever made a mistake, but for all that, he wasn't anywhere near strong enough to come close to beating Sai, not yet anyway. The blind Go player hesitated until just before his opponent was going to lay down his 3 handicap stones, before asking, 'Uhm, would you mind terribly if I played /shidogo/ with you?' He didn't want to insult the young man but he really wanted to try out his new found skill, and expand it if he could.

'At 3 stones handicap?' Touya deadpanned.  
Sai's face flushed; now that would be an insult indeed!  
'No, of course not! An even game, with me playing /shidogo/. If that is agreeable to you?'  
The young pro was silent for long seconds, but then acquiesced.

As the game unfolded, Sai found it challenging in an unexpected way. The object of /shidogo/ is to teach your opponent new or better strategy; winning or losing was not an issue. But the former ghost found it hard to give up the ultimate goal of winning. The fact that Touya was, even if he was not at the blind man's level, still a formidable opponent, who was definitely trying to win this game, was not helping any.

Sai had some idea of what he wanted to teach the young man. He was going to lead him to a deeper insight into the game. Sai had noticed that Hikaru could see quite deeply into the game, but he was sloppy and made mistakes that would cost him his victory if pitted against a solid player like Touya. Touya on the other hand, was not able to visualize as deeply as Sai's long time friend but the fundamentals of his game were so solid, he was close to an unstoppable force to those at his level. But if the young pro wanted to get ahead he needed to look deeper. He also needed more flexibility, but that was something for another day, Sai decided, teaching him to look deeper was possibly more than he could teach in this one game anyway.

Sai had set a number of traps that could only be avoided by looking slightly deeper than he'd seen Touya do before. The former ghost knew he was on the right track when he heard Touya's breath catch each time he fell into one of the traps. The young pro was getting nervous and hopefully that would get his brain in gear, and he figure out how to miss falling into the next one.

It took five sprung traps for Touya to catch on and narrowly miss the next one. The seventh trap, the young pro spied a lot faster and the eighth Sai couldn't even finish before it was under attack.  
They decided to call it quits there and Touya got up to fetch tea and sweets for the post-game discussion.  
As the boy left he greeted Hikaru in passing.

The blind Go player had not heard his friend arrive.  
'Did you see the game?' he asked.  
'Hmm, yeah... that was interesting.' Hikaru paused. 'Did you just play /shidogo/ with Touya?'  
Sai nodded.  
'I hope he knew about it, or he'd be very upset now.' the boy mused.  
'He knew, I asked him. I just learned about it yesterday and wanted to try it.' Sai confessed.  
/'You don't remember, but the very first game you played after you possessed me, was with him, through me, and was also /shidogo/,'/ Hikaru whispered, having come closer, now standing aside of the blind man's chair.

Oh. A sudden fear gripped his heart; what if Touya recognized his style from back then? Would he suspect something? Come to think of it, how come he hadn't suspected the person who'd played that first game and who'd played him on NetGo, was one and the same?

/'Don't worry, I think your style has changed enough that Touya can only note some similarities, nothing more,'/ his friend whispered.  
/'I hope you're right,'/ Sai responded.  
He would have liked to talk more but he heard Touya's footsteps come their way again, bringing tea and ginger cookies.

oOOo

The post game discussion showed very clearly what Sai had tried to do and how it had worked. Touya complimented him on being an excellent teacher. Sai hoped that one day he would be able to make a living at it.

They cut the discussion short because Hikaru kept asking to play the blind man, and Sai didn't mind in the slightest. There was nothing better on Earth than playing Go with one's friend.

He wasn't quite sure how it happened, maybe because Touya said he'd like to play Sai again as well, in a proper match this time, but the idea of playing both at the same time came up.

Sai had played multiple opponents before, but never at these boys' level of play. He wondered if he could do it, and suggested they don't use handicaps this time.

As Sai played the first 10 hands, he realized had bitten off more than he could chew; his opponents were just too strong to play alternately and Sai having to re-familiarize himself with the formations each time he switched boards was making him fall behind hopelessly. If he was going to stand any sort of chance at winning he'd have to change his technique right now, before he played any more lousy hands!  
Sai's answering move to Touya's was next, when he stopped and tried to think out that change of technique.

The two Gobans sat in his head, glowing faintly. Now he knew he could keep four Gobans straight in his head, he had done so only yesterday. How had he done that? Well, when the patrons of the Heart of Stone had suggested playing against four, the two extra boards had just appeared in his mind, exactly like the second had, and the very first, a week ago.

But using a trick like just conjuring up more Gobans was not going to win against these pro players. No, that would take a new way of visualizing the strategy he'd want to use against each, in such a way that could be recalled when he switched opponents.

He directed his mind to Hikaru's board. There were the beginnings of a strong formation forming in the lower left corner. That would need to be dismantled later. Then there was an indication the boy might be interested in the upper left side as well. Sai couldn't let the young pro connect both formations. The best way would be to attack black directly, using Sai's own formation in the lower middle. Yes, that was the way to go. First he'd have to predict Hikaru's next move.

Sai stored the strategy and the predicted next move on several virtual Go grids on the far side of Hikaru's Goban, hoping it would still be there when his turn to play Hikaru came about.  
Then he turned his attention at Touya's board.  
Touya had made his move already, but Sai had been so deeply immersed in Hikaru's board he hadn't taken note of the coordinates. He asked Touya to repeat them.

'I said 13-17,' the boy said dutifully. 'Fujiwara-san, are you sure you can do this?' he added.  
'Yes, yes, just let me think,' the blind man answered distractedly. It shut the boy up effectively. Sai was vaguely aware he should apologize for his tone, but then all thoughts of decorum disappeared as he placed the new move on the virtual Goban.

The new move was, if not totally predictable, then at least not unexpected. The former ghost reanalyzed the half formed strategy he had for his offence against the young pro, shaping it into something that might actually work. He placed it on another stack of virtual grids, alongside Touya's Goban. He took a very long look at it before deciding his move and giving it to the boy to play.

As had been previously agreed, the next opponent would not name his move until the blind player requested it. (If his opponent was not ready to name his move at that point, Sai would move on to the next opponent).

The blind Go player took his time looking over his Touya strategy and the Touya board, making a prediction of Touya's next move and storing it all in his memory, before moving back to the Hikaru section of his mindscape. The big question was, was what he had prepared still there, or had he lost the strategy and possibly even the entire Goban?

As he called up the Goban, he was relieved it was still intact. Then he called on the virtual grids; they also seemed to be all there, even if the very last one was a little faint. Reemerging into the play made it all come together and soon Sai was ready to check his prediction against reality.

'Hikaru,' he said.  
'4-6,' the boy gave back immediately. Yes, that was exactly what he had thought it would be. He added the stone to the board. Maybe this was doable after all, Sai thought. It was hard, and his hands were sweating but he felt confident it could be done, and that he could do it.

xXXx

As the game progressed the switching became easier, even as the strategies became more complex. He needed a lot of time for each move but time was something he had plenty of.

They played the game out to the end, with Sai scraping a meager half /moku/ victory from Touya and a 1.5 /moku/ victory from Hikaru.

The blind man sat back in his chair trying to catch his mental breath. He felt utterly drained and while he realized he was addressed a couple of times he was just too tired to answer.

A cup of tea appeared in his right hand, and a cookie was wedged in his left. Sai only barely had the presence of mind to close his fingers over the sweet, or it would have fallen to the floor.

He sat there for long minutes, letting the heat of the tea warm his hand. That had been a lot of work, but it had also been utterly satisfying to see that he could do it. He wanted to try again as soon as he was able and the boys were willing. He wondered idly if he'd grown over these games, he hoped so. Games like these were heaven indeed!

Presently he felt more able to deal with the tea and he started sipping the cooling beverage. By the time he started nibbling on the cookie he'd re-found his awareness of the world around him.

Just audible over the noise of a busy Go club he could make out the voices of his friends talking softly about the game. He noted that Ogata had joined the company and was commenting on a play that Sai recognized as having taken place near the top right hand star of Touya's board.

'That's quite a bold move, I'm not sure I would have played an /ogeima/ here, maybe not even a /kogeima/,' the titleholder said, pensively.  
'I think it's because he got into serious trouble here, much earlier,' Touya said. 'This where he sat thinking for at least 20 minutes, before continuing. And then his play was much improved.'  
They were silent for a moment and the blind man took a moment to sit up in his chair an straighten his spine a bit.

'Ah Sai, are you with us again?' Hikaru chirped.  
'Mmm, yes. Any chance of another cup of tea?'  
'Coming right up!' The cup leaped out of his hand like it was alive, and footsteps, Hikaru's, Sai thought, sped off.

With a fresh cup of tea Sai joined the post-game discussion. They asked them about those 20 minutes and he tried to explain it as well as he could, but they had to conclude that the blind man's take on playing Go was, not in the least part because of his blindness, rather unique.

When the discussion was obviously over and the former ghost was contemplating who to ask to play next, Ogata asked to talk to him in private for a moment.  
Again the man led him to the small conference room and bade him sit down, after pulling up chairs for both of them.

Sai waited patiently for what the man might have to say to him. He was hoping it was not about something he'd done or said, but he reassured himself that the titleholder had sounded quite calm and pleasant when he'd requested the meeting.  
The silence that fell started to erode that reassurance...

'Uhm..., this is kind of awkward,' Ogata started slowly. The blind man decided to neither encourage nor discourage whatever the titleholder might have to say. If it was good news, so much the better, if it was bad news, postponing would not make it better. Sai just hoped Ogata hadn't changed his mind about them, and was preparing him for the disappointment. No, that was not likely to be it. He hoped.

'You told me last week not to pry into your past, well, uhm, you know me by now I guess, and of course I couldn't leave it alone,' Ogata continued. 'But that was before I promised to do better, this morning,' he hastily added.' He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. 'I contacted a friend who's on the police force, on Saturday and he gave me a summary of your missing person's file. They did a thorough job, even if they couldn't find anyone.' He paused again. 'Look I'm sorry I pried, and since nothing came of it I could have kept silent about it, but I don't think that would be a good basis for a friendship, so that's why I'm letting you know. They keep records about who request information there anyway, so you would have found me out eventually...'

It struck Sai as highly unlikely that he'd ever take a look at his own file at Missing Persons. For one thing he hadn't even know he had a file there, and for another he'd have to bring someone along to help him read it. And that, quite likely, would have been Ogata himself. So the chances of him ever finding out were practically nil.

The fact that his stoic friend had admitted going behind his back was rather interesting. The man admitted being in the wrong, but hadn't said he'd never do it again. If he had, the former ghost would definitely not have believed him. But he hadn't and that was a very honest admission too, one the blind man could appreciate.  
'Thank you for telling me,' he said. 'Was that everything?' he added after the other man stayed silent.  
'Uh no, not quite. I, uh, I wanted to tell you why I was mad at you for not trying harder to find your family,' Ogata said.

Oh no, not that again. Sai really didn't want to have to lie to anyone, most of all not to his friends, but if the man kept hammering on about the same issue like this, the former ghost knew he wouldn't be able to take it for long.

He started to rise from his chair when the other man grabbed his uninjured arm and said, 'I'm not going to ask you anything you don't want to talk about, I promise.'  
Ogata pulled a little on his arm and Sai let himself be pulled back down into his seat. He heard the titleholder swallow.

'I just wanted to tell you about myself.' He paused again. 'My parents were killed in an air crash when I was 12. Since they had married without their families' permission, no one of the family would take me. The police and the social workers did their best for me and I only stayed in the orphanage for one month before they found an uncle, a couple of time removed on my mother's side, who would take me in. It really was my lucky day. It was my uncle who encouraged me to become a pro Go player, having noticed my talent for the game.' He took a deep breath and continued, 'We had only 5 years together, he was already quite old when he took me on, but I owe that man everything and when you said you weren't even going to check if there was anyone out there for you, I just couldn't believe my ears.' He swallowed again, 'I couldn't understand why you'd not want a chance at that!' The titleholder's voice had gone up as he'd come the end of his speech, making it obvious to the blind man how much it meant to the other man.

'I'm sorry,' was all he could say. He didn't add, 'but I still can't tell you', hoping Ogata would hear the words anyway.  
'I know,' the Go pro said. 'I know.'

They sat in silence for a few minutes more. Then Ogata pulled his hand away from Sai's arm and said,  
'Well, I have some good news, too.' He got up and pushed his chair back to its original spot, continuing with,  
'I found you a job.'

oOOo

TBC

xXXx

Okay, we've come to the end of what I wrote.

About that cliff hanger…. oopsy ;-)

I will get to writing more soonest, in the mean time, don't forget to review!

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed! I'm glad you like the story, makes me want to get to the rest of it!  
Keep your eye on my profile for updates on how the writing is going.

Some author's whinging:  
the formatting: sorry about that but after losing all italics and bolds from a 44.000 word fic 3 times in a row I've given up formatting long fics.

## *Chapter 16*: Chapter 16

Chapter 16

'I found you a job.'

'A job?' Sai was so surprised he could only repeat the word incredulously. He knew he had asked for one, but at the same time he had known how unlikely it was that he should get his wish; after all, who'd hire a blind man?

'Well, you said you wanted one. Didn't you?' Ogata added, now sounding unsure.

The thought that Ogata might rescind the job offer if the titleholder was unsure of the blind man's interest in a job spurred Sai on to quickly reassure the man.

'Yes! Yes, I want one! ' he squealed. Then in a more sedate tone he added, 'What is it?' It really was a minor detail; having a job at all would be wonderful, but he did want to know.

'It's here at the club; you are to play Go with the customers and teach Go, if that's what they want.' Ogata sounded quite self-satisfied. As well he should, for that had been the exact description of Sai's idea of a dream job.

Sai's right hand clamped over his own mouth, effectively squelching the scream of utter surprise and elation that was coming out of his mouth.

An avalanche of emotion washed over the blind man. All at once his dreams had come true. He would be able to build a life if he had a job; he'd have a proper place in society, no longer the despised and pitied outcast. And to top that, all he had do was play Go, every day, forever!

Sai's hand could not stop the few tears that ran down his cheeks from sheer happiness. And, despite keeping his head down, the Go pro had seen them.

He said, 'Damn it, Fujiwara, I thought you wanted that, don't tell me I messed up again, please!' His voice slowly went up as he spoke, indicating his distress.

Sai dropped his hand from his face, realizing the man had misinterpreted his emotional response. Ogata had nothing to feel upset about; he had done just as Sai would have wished in his wildest dreams!

Sai grabbed in the direction of Ogata's arm and caught the material of his sleeve in an iron grip, preventing the man from moving away further.

'No! Ogata-san, you did nothing wrong! In fact you did everything right; I want that job, more than anything in the world!' Sai tugged strongly on the sleeve until the titleholder let himself be pulled back down into his chair.

When Ogata remained silent, Sai continued speaking, pleading for understanding.

'Believe me when I say I want that job, please don't take it away! I want,' Sai had to search for the words to express what was in his heart, 'I want to work and meet people and not be despised and,' he inhaled strongly, 'I want to play Go! Please!' he added after another silence from the pro player, and tugged one more time on the man's sleeve.

Again silence fell, and Sai braced himself yet again for disappointment; had Sai's emotional reaction put the other man off so much he'd lose his newly offered job? Or even worse? Sai held his breath and berated himself for making a spectacle of himself, yet again. Who would want to be around a sniffling, emotional, blind idiot like himself? The former ghost could not, would not, fault the titleholder for not wanting him in this state.

Sai's thoughts were interrupted by Ogata's very audible exhale.

'Look,' the pro started, and Sai grabbed a little tighter on man's sleeve. 'I just don't understand you,' he sighed, 'Why on earth would I take away what I only just offered?'

Sai had no answer, and couldn't stop himself from sniffing his tears away.

The blind man felt his hand being pulled away from the pro player's sleeve, and again, imagined the worst.

But then he felt both hands taken in Ogata's bigger ones and squeezed in what Sai hoped was reassurance.

'Fujiwara,' Ogata started again, 'Do you want this job?'

'Yes,' Sai replied softly.

Ogata gave his hands another squeeze.

'Well then, stop crying, and let's get it sorted!'

With that he got up, dragging the blind man up by both hands, dislodging Sai's folded cane bundle, and made it swing loosely by the former ghost's wrist. The titleholder let go of Sai's hands, and shifted the chair he had been sitting on back in its place, before heading towards the door.

'Come on, then,' the Go pro called, and Sai undid the strap on his cane, letting it fold out, before following Ogata's voice out the door.

o00o

It turned out that 'sorting it out' involved a lot of paperwork, which was taken care of by Miss Ichikawa, the receptionist, who was, apparently in charge of these things. Upstairs in the office the three of them 'sorted' a whole slew of things that Sai had never heard of and - even after having some of it explained to him- still didn't understand. All in all, it reminded him strongly of sitting in Mr. Uwayaku's office while the man worked. Sai supposed all offices were really very much alike.

There were papers he had to read, but couldn't, to which Ogata said, 'don't worry about it'. There were papers he had to sign, and presumably read. On those he scribbled with a pen, an item he was sure he'd never handled before in his life.

Ogata directed him where to place his mark, saying again, not to worry about it. The only thing that Sai could make out in the deluge of strange terms, was that his job's name was 'Custodian'. Unfortunately that meant nothing to him, so he just memorized the tittle and left it at that.

It turned out the titleholder had contacted Mr. Uwayaku earlier that day, to ask if Sai's name change had been officially applied for yet. It had, as Mr. Uwayaku was a real professional. And Ogata was given some valuable legal advice; because of the blind man's amnesiac circumstances, Sai would be able to legally use his newly re-found name at once. All Sai had to do was keep the official receipt from the application for the name change with his current ID card at all times, while he waited for his new ID card to be issued. Mr. Uwayaku would messenger the receipt over tomorrow, as it was after 6pm already, if Ogata would pay for it.

His own name! For the former ghost it suddenly sunk in he'd have his real name, well, for real now! He'd not be 'nobody' anymore; not 'Mayō' any more, not 'Lost' anymore! He'd be 'Fujiwara Sai' now if anyone officially asked.

The idea left him speechless for some moments.

xXXx

After all the paperwork had been done, Miss Ichikawa gave the blind man the low down on the job. Ogata had had to leave for his evening Go tutoring client. So the blind man was instructed by her over sandwich dinner downstairs. Touya joined them, letting Sai know Hikaru had had to go home for dinner.

Sai was disappointed to have missed saying goodbye to his friend, but he was also very anxious to hear what Miss Ichikawa had to say, because he strongly suspected that these would be the bits about the job he would have to 'worry' about.

Miss Ichikawa explained Sai was expected to play Go with the customers at the club, just like Ogata had said. For this Miss Ichikawa - 'Oh do call me Ichikawa, everyone does!' - would allocate a table with four chairs and two Gobans, for Sai to use. She had already called and commissioned a craftsman to put the numbers of the co-ordinate on one Goban, so the less experienced could play the blind man on that. It would arrive tomorrow or Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. The second Goban was there so two games could be played simultaneously and also as a teaching tool, so two games could be laid out side by side and be compared in post-game discussions.

The game table was set aside in a niche in the Go club. You had to take two steps up a platform to get to it. Miss Ichikawa 'showed' him the layout by actually taking him around the table. Sai really didn't feel ready to call her anything but Miss, as he pretty much viewed her as his immediate boss. She let him feel where the chairs were and the - for now - solitary Goban.

After that she took him on the grand tour of the Go club. The general layout of the place, the location of the downstairs washrooms, tea corner, book and magazine corner, the two private rooms the upstairs office and its staff washroom, offices and boardroom.

At the tea corner she only indicated what could be obtained there. The receptionist added that he'd not be called on making any beverage there. She, or her niece, would always be on hand to supply him and his guest(s).

Sai was amazed how much thought Miss Ichikawa, and possibly Ogata,had put into making this job work for him. With all these tools and foresight, he felt he would be able to do this job well.

Miss Ichikawa concluded with giving him his schedule. He'd be working five days a week, with Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, as those were the slowest days at the club. He'd work in morning and afternoon, but could be scheduled for the evening too. He would get paid by the hour, for now.

Sai's head spun. He would get paid for playing Go? Was there anything more wondrous in the world? The receptionist ran him through a very complicated calculation to show him how much he would earn, but on seeing his utterly blank reaction, took pity on him and explained that he'd be taking home ¥530 hour. Why that was pretty much ¥500 a game!

Sai was set to start work on Wednesday this week, (the day after tomorrow), so he could spend that day familiarizing himself with the club and its inner workings. He was to start at 10am, but was expected to arrive earlier to set up, but no earlier than 9:30, or the main door would still be closed. There would be an appointment book set up for him, so people could sign up for his sessions for each day. Miss Ichikawa added that Ogata had already filled a few regular slots, and Touya had promptly added himself for Monday afternoons.

The blind man hadn't realized he'd be able to play his friends this way; this was getting better and better!

o00o

Sai was still dazed from it all when Miss Ichikawa left him in Touya's hands, who immediately asked for a game. The magic allure of Go worked yet again and the blind man was soon lost in the world of black and white disks, where any thoughts not related to Go ceased to exist.

It was late when Ogata came back to pick him up, and Sai was quite exhausted. It wasn't until he was lying on 'his' futon in Ogata's bedroom with the other man snoring softly a meter or so away from him, that he realized they had not discussed anything further about the his living arrangements with Ogata. It had just happened and it seemed everything was back to 'normal'.

Sai briefly thought there should be more discussion, but his body betrayed him and he fell asleep before he could do any more serious thinking.

o00o

TBC….

Sorry for the very short chapter. I'm again having problems getting my stuff beta-ed. My sister kindly beta-ed this, for which I'm very grateful!

## *Chapter 17*: Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The next morning he woke with a start. The apartment was disconcertingly quiet. Sai was instantly sure he was all alone, that the titleholder had already left for the day. He was quite hot under his duvet and recognized that it was the heat from the sun shining full onto his bed.

Realization dawned. For Ogata to be gone already and for the sun to be this strong, it couldn't be very early.

He sat up and groped for his bag. He had been so tired yesterday he couldn't quite remember what had happened to it.

Careful searching revealed it next to his pillow. Reaching inside the pocket for his watch he felt something heavy slip off the top of the bag. It hit the floor with a metallic clink and jingle. He left the watch and groped for the item. It turned out to be a pair of keys on a large ring with a paper tag on a string attached to it. He wondered if there was something written on the tag. There was no way he could read it of course, so it wasn't of much use.

Further investigation of the outside of this bag yielded a single apple and a cell phone with a piece of paper wrapped around it, held together with an elastic band. Now, Sai was sure there was a message on the paper, but again there was no way for him to read it. He had to think about what the apple meant. He decided it was an invitation from Ogata to eat it. At least he hoped that was what it meant.

oOOo

He found a towel had been thoughtfully left out for him, when he went for a quick shower. He dressed in yesterday's leggings and his last clean new shirt, and made his way to the living room, sitting down on the couch. On a hunch he checked what was on the coffee table. He found a small carton with a straw stuck to the side of it. Sai had been given this sort of thing before so he knew what to do with it. He gratefully pulled off the straw and felt for the circular aperture. He pushed the sharp end of the straw through the membrane and started drinking, hoping that Ogata had left this out for him too and that he wasn't trespassing.

The taste of the beverage was new to him, but it was sweet and liquid, and he was very thirsty, so it was wonderful. The table also held a squishy bundle, wrapped in plastic. It had been closed by gathering the top of the plastic bag and twisting it several times before tucking the end under the small bundle. Just the blind man touching it started unraveling the fastening and once it had come lose, Sai felt free to investigate further. He found three medium sized rice balls, each wrapped in a leaf of seaweed. It made a hearty breakfast.

xXXx

After breakfast, it was nearly half past ten and Sai decided to try out a theory he had been contemplating while consuming the rice balls that were now sitting in his well filled belly.

He quickly put the apple in his bag, as well as the cell phone, which was still wrapped. He shouldered it, slipped on his sandals and opened the front door of Ogata's apartment.

No alarms started ringing. It was something he had fleetingly worried might happen, if not too seriously. He tried one of the keys in the lock. It didn't fit. Not too surprising - there was a chance of one out of two he had tried the wrong key. He tried the other one, it went in smoothly.

Now Sai had had no real experience with keys and locks but he did know what a door being locked sounded like. When he twisted the key three times to the left, the lock made all the right noises. The blind man felt around the open side of the door and found a square piece of metal sticking out, just as he had expected. The piece withdrew as he turned the key to the right three times.

Well, that was that theory confirmed. The key fit the door. And much more importantly, by giving the blind man a set of keys, Ogata meant for Sai to come and go as he pleased. Again, that was what he hoped.

He felt very grateful for the titleholder's generosity. He just hoped he could give the man what he needed. If Ogata wanted true honesty, Sai would not be able to accommodate him. But if he just wanted to play lots of Go, the former ghost could deliver in spades, anytime, anywhere!

Ah yes, he was looking forward to that!

o00o

He had found his way down to the reception area of the building, via the stairwell. He was about to walk out, when he heard an uncomfortably familiar voice yell an even more uncomfortably familiar phrase: 'Hey you!'

It was the doorman who had chucked him out some days before. The blind man speeded up his gate, since he really didn't want to be physically pushed out again.

'Fujiwara-sensei, wait up!' the man shouted. Sai stopped. How did that man know his name? And had he called Sai 'sensei'?

'Wait up, sir. Ogata-sensei left you a message,' the man said, wheezing a bit from running the short distance quite fast.

The former ghost stood still. He waited for the man to continue, which he did after a pregnant pause.

'I, uh. First of all, I should apologize,' the man bowed quite low, 'for my behavior the other day. I'm sorry.'

Sai remembered how the man had behaved back then, and had to wonder at the change of heart. Then he remembered the Go pro had ordered the doorman - as well as his supervisor - to come talk to him yesterday. Ogata must have told him off, so now the doorman apologized to Sai. Sai hoped it was a sincere apology, but with Ogata and the doorman's supervisor in the picture, there was no way to tell.

Sai decided to go for a non-committal. 'Apology accepted.'

The doorman sighed in what appeared relief, and that at least sounded pretty sincere to the blind man.

The doorman continued, 'Ogata-sensei said that I am to read the note that he put next to the mobile phone to you. You did find the mobile okay, sir?'

'Yes, I did.' Sai took it, still wrapped in the note and handed it over. The doorman removed the elastic band with a ping and read aloud, 'Fujiwara, uh, -san. Have gone to work. Make yourself at home. There's food on the coffee table. Use the keys to lock the door. Don't phone until after 2pm. Money is inside the envelope in your bag. Ogata.'

He folded the note and handed it back to the blind man. Sai quickly checked his bag. If there was money inside it, which he hadn't known about, it might have fallen out without him realizing! It was not inside either front pocket, and Sai panicked for a moment before finding it inside the bag proper. Letting out a sigh of relief, Sai pushed the envelope deeper into his bag, all the way to the bottom, to prevent it falling out. He'd open up the envelope later, after all there was no reason to let the doorman know how much - or little - money he was carrying!

The doorman cut into Sai's thoughts by offering, 'Ogata-sensei asked me to show you how to use the phone.'

Sai really much rather wanted to leave now. He had a book to pick up after all and he really didn't need a mobile phone anyway, he had never had one before.

'No, thank you,' he said, hoping that would dismiss the man.

'I'm sorry, sir, but Ogata-sensei was quite insistent, and, uh, I really don't want to lose my job!' The poor man sounded so panicked Sai gave in and let the man instruct him.

Thankfully there were only 3 buttons he had to learn to push in the right order to ring the titleholder. While he listened patiently, he realized that although Ogata had apologized, not much of his behavior had changed. He still bullied people into doing what he wanted done. As Sai started his walk towards the mall, his thoughts dwelled on Ogata and his behavior.

xXXx

The bookseller greeted Sai as he made his way to the sales counter.

'Ah, Fujiwara-san, your book has come in just now.' The blind man could both hear the hollow thud and feel the vibrations of the book hitting the counter, as he was still touching the worn wood.

The bookseller opened the book and slid it towards Sai, who moved his hand to let it fall on top of it. Immediately he could feel the little bumps in the paper that the man had described would be there. He let his hand roam the entire page.

'This is writing?' he asked. 'I mean, I can read this?' he corrected, after he realized his question might have implied the bookseller had sold him a dud.

'Yes, well, after you've learned the 'letters' of course.'

Sai took his hand away when he felt the pages move under his fingers; the bookseller was turning the pages, and then pushed the book back to Sai, who put his hand back on the book.

'This is a chart of the letters. They are for /Hiragana/ on this page,' the bookseller lectured. 'Just put you middle finger on the top row,' he instructed and Sai moved his hand to find the top row. The was a single bump with a rectangular box shape relief around it, that stood on its short end, the bump was in the upper most left hand corner.

'That's あ*' the man said. 'Move to the next box.'

*(pronounced 'ah')

Sai did. Two bumps were in this one, one directly underneath the other, again sitting in the left hand corner. 'That's い**,' the bookseller announced.

(**pronounced 'e' like 'leaf')

At the bookseller's prompting Sai touched the boxes for う, え and お***, each with their own configuration of bumps, in a square position to each other, filling the top and middle positions of the rectangle.

(***pronounced う: oo or uh (and also a sound English hasn't got), え: eh as in 'egg' and お: oh as in 'lock')

The next row held the same bumps again, but this time there was a single bump in the bottom right corner, as he syllables ran through か,き,く,け and こ(KA, KI, KU, KE and KO).

In the next row where the syllables starting with S, the one after with T, then N, H and M. The syllable め (ME) filled all 6 positions in its box. The row of Y only held 3 out of 5 sounds, each pattern again different from any he had touched before. Then the R, and after that the W, which had only 2 versions, and lastly the single N. There were some added bumps to make up G, D, Z, B & H syllables from the existing set.

Sai was amazed at the simple yet totally effective system. He asked the man about the more complicated /kanji/ characters, but the bookseller said that this was all you needed to read Japanese Braille (/tenji/).

Sai asked Mr. Noburu if he had time to do the sequence again, and was elated when the man said he did; Tuesdays were always slow in the bookshop, he said.

After they had run the sequence again, the bookseller leafed through the book again and said, 'Try reading this.'

Sai let his fingers find the rectangle, but he only found bumps. Ah, that's right, when he had first touched a page full of Braille text there had been only bumps on it. He repositioned his fingers at the beginning of the line and tried again. He found a single bump in bottom right position, quickly consulting the chart he had made of the bump-syllables in his head, he came up with わ (WA), then there were 3 bumps placed at an angle; た (TA), then し (SHI) and は (HA). Slowly he read out:

わたしは もうもく です

Wa ta shi wa mo u mo ku de su (I am blind.)

わたしは ひらがな を てんじ で よみます

Wa ta shi wa hi ra ga na o te n ji de yo mi ma su (I read Braille.)***

'I'm reading!' he squealed.

'Yes, you are,' Mr. Noburu said, and his smile was audible.

'So where I can I find books in Braille to read?' was the blind man's next burning question.

'Well, I do believe the answer to that is in the book you're holding; read it and find out,' the bookseller said.

Sai gathered the book to his chest; here was the gateway to a new world, one he felt sure he'd have a lot of fun exploring!

o00o

After leaving the bookstore (and thanking Mr. Noburu about a million times) Sai had almost left the mall when he remembered about Hikaru's tie. More specifically, he remembered thinking that Go pros were properly dressed and that since he now had a job playing Go, even while he was not a pro (yet), he would be around pros a lot, and would have to dress the part.

With some dread he turned away from the sliding doors leading out of the mall and braved the escalator to the first floor.

The clothing store smelled and sounded like it had before; full of new fabric. The blind man remembered the way to the counter well enough and walked straight up to it.

'Ah, a customer!' Mr. Shitateya exclaimed, but his voice lost its joviality when he added, 'Oh, it's you.'

Hearing the change in tone, Sai's heart sank; feeling pressured by his own inadequacies the first time he had been here and abject embarrassed the second time, he decided that he really didn't need another round of that and started turning around to make his way out the door, without a word.

'Please stop!' The man's voice had moved from behind the counter and was swiftly moving towards him.

'Look, I'm sorry, you startled me. Please, don't go...'

The fashion store owner's pleading voice grated somewhat on Sai's nerves, but he knew it would be impolite to just walk out now. And anyway, Sai realized that the man's behavior was largely due to the way Ogata had dealt with retailer, when the titleholder had Sai exchange his purchase here. It had been ill done in Sai's opinion, and it obviously had left its effects.

He really shouldn't have come back here, not ever. But he was here now, and so it must be dealt with now.

'I'm sorry,' he said, 'maybe I shouldn't have come.'

'No, no, it's all right, I did some thinking and maybe I was too pushy before,' Mr. Shitateya cut in quickly.

'How's about we start fresh, no?' the man suggested, his voice cajoling. Then after Sai didn't say anything, he added, 'Now what can I do for you, good sir, on this fine morning?'

Sai, having made up his mind to let bygones be bygones, nodded and said, 'I need something to wear to work.'

'Work? Hmm, what kind of work?'

'I am to play Go with the customers of the Touya Go Club. That's where Ogata-san also plays.' Sai hadn't wanted to mention Ogata's name here but he was afraid the retailer would not understand what his job was if he didn't. 'I'm a Custodian,' he added to clarify it some more.

'Uh,' the man sounded astonished, but not in a good way. 'Are you sure you've heard them correctly; as far as I know custodians mend things and mop floors, but they don't play Go with customers...'

What? Sai's head spun; he was sure he had understood correctly: he was to play Go with the customers… Wasn't he?

All of a sudden he was very unsure; there had been so many papers to sign and there had been so many different instruction about where to leave bags and put shoes and make beverages and where to sit and, and, and... Maybe he had misunderstood?

The former ghost felt the blood drain from his head as the world started to spin.

'Uh, maybe,' Mr. Shitateya interrupted Sai's thoughts; 'Maybe you should contact your employer and ask what your job is?'

Yes.  
Yes, he should do that, he realized. That way he would be sure right away, and he'd not have to suffer in ignorance. And if it turned out he had misunderstood and he was to mend and mop floors after all, why then he would produce the cleanest floors, to the best of his meager abilities, this he vowed! He just hoped and prayed that he would not have to mop or clean, because he felt sure he'd be really bad at it.

The next big question was really who to call; Ogata was unavailable until 2, Sai didn't have a contact number for the Go club and Hikaru had not been there when the job had been explained to him. Then memory sparked; Touya had been there, at least when they were talking about it over dinner. And Sai vaguely remembered Touya mentioning he was going to study /kifu/ at the club today, so maybe he wouldn't mind too much if the blind man rang him?

Sai took out his new cell phone, and promptly ran into a snag; he had no idea how to dial a number on it.

'Uh, Mr. Shitateya,' he said, holding out the phone, 'could you dial a number for me if I gave you my phone?'

The man took the phone and answered, 'sure. Shoot.'

The former ghost recited the number and heard the phone bleep after each digit.

'Hey, the number was already in here,' the retailer remarked as he passed it back to Sai, who didn't get a chance to respond to that as he could already hear a very tinny rendition of Touya's voice call out 'Moshi, moshi,' from the device. He brought it to his ear and said, 'It's me, Sai.'

'Ah, Fujiwara-san, what can I do for you?'

'Uh, I'm not disturbing you or anything?'

'No, not at all, I'm just brushing up on my Shuusaku games, the style reminds me a little of your own. Fascinating stuff!'

Uh-oh, how much trouble was Sai in? Would Touya put two and two together and come up with the right number?

No, Sai decided, Touya would never guess that Sai had been the one playing those games that were attributed to Shuusaku so long ago; it was just too unbelievable, right?

'How can I help you?' Touya's cheery voice chimed.

'Uh well, remember when we were talking about my job with Ichikawa-san?'

'Yes, of course.'

'Did you hear her mention the word 'custodian'?'

'Actually no, but I did hear that word today and I think I know what you question is.'

'You do?'

Sai started to hope.

'Yes. Let me explain it as I understand the situation; in order to play and teach Go as an official job in our club one _must_ be a qualified Go pro. Now if you were to be employed at any other club, they might not have to take the rules so seriously, but because this club is my father's, a multiple title winning Go pro, even if he's retired now, the rules must be upheld.

'However there is no rule that says we can't employ you as a custodian officially, and then let you do what you do best, which is play Go, unofficially,' the boy finished triumphantly.

'So I won't have to mend or mop?' Sai asked just to be absolutely sure.

'Mop? Of course not, we've got a cleaning service for that.'

Sai sighed in relief; he knew he would have taken any job, including one where he'd have to mop, but he was so glad that he was not, it made him feel 10.000 times lighter.

Behind him he could hear Mr. Shitateya deal with another customer.

'That leads me to my next question; what do I wear? I mean, Hikaru wore a tie the other day, should I wear a tie? And what about a suit?'

'You saw Shindou in a tie? No, never mind that, I think I know when that was, Sunday right?' Touya's tiny voice quirked.

'Yes, but how did you...'

'Sunday was a special fund raiser over at the institute; everybody was supposed to be there, but Shindou left early and Ogata-san didn't show at all. No, normally ties and suits are not mandatory for playing pro Go, and at the club we're even more laid back about clothing. Basically what you wore yesterday is just fine.'

Sai felt relieved and quickly rang off.

He contemplated for a few moments about what, if anything he should buy, given this new information. Pretty quickly he came to the conclusion that 2 good shirts and 1 good pair of leggings was just not going to be enough for looking presentable day in and day out. And he'd need underwear too. And socks. But how much money did he have to spare? He knew he had just under ¥5000 left, that was really not much to buy clothing at this store. Then he remembered the envelope that Ogata had put in his bag. He dug around for it and found it still there. He took it out and found that the envelope was unsealed and he could easily pull out the contents: two crisp ¥10,000 notes. With the money already had, he now had nearly ¥25,000, enough to buy some more clothing if he wished.

He quickly put them with the rest of his money in the front pocket of his bag, pushing it all the way down.

Mr. Shitateya had finished with his customer and turned his attention back to the blind man.

'Any decision on what to buy?'

'Yes, I think I need two more shirts and maybe two pairs of leggings. And underwear and socks. My friend put me straight; I am to play Go and not mop and I don't have to wear a tie or a suit,' he added.

'Ah, wonderful!' the man enthused. 'Uh, if I might make a suggestion, uh, depending on your budget of course, it might be prudent to get one button-down shirt and a pair of trousers. So you feel you can be seen in any company,' the retailer hastened to add.

'Uh, how much would that cost?'

'Well, if I can find one that fits you from last year's collection, a suitable pair of trousers would cost about ¥4000, from this year's collection it would be closer to ¥9000. Button down shirts will range between ¥2000 and ¥4000, in the cheaper range.'

Sai certainly didn't want to spend his only money too freely but the man was right, it would be prudent to have one really nice set of clothes, after all he never wanted to embarrass anyone to be seen with him ever again!

He asked the retailer to see if he had one ¥4000 pair of trousers for him, and a ¥2000 budget shirt, plus the underwear, two long sleeved t-shirts and two leggings he had already asked for. And the socks too. Sai stayed by the counters as the man started bustling around the shop, not really seeing the point of following him around.

Mr. Shitateya did insist on measuring him for the pants and button-down, but he was assured that the measuring would only need to be done once every few years, as the numbers would be recorded in 'the book' and be available any time Sai would want to buy anything more. Under that assurance the blind man let himself be measured.

oOOo

A good hour later found Sai sitting on a stone seat on the square with the fountain, munching on his second sandwich, in the shade of a big tree.

The sandwiches had been bought on Mr. Shitateya recommendation from a vendor in the mall. A good recommendation; the sandwiches were quite affordable and truly excellent.

After finishing his lunch Sai checked his watch: nearly one o'clock. He remembered Hikaru telling him he would be going to school today, and while he forgot to mention at what time he'd be done for the day, Sai didn't think it would be just yet. Ogata would be busy until at least two. So, finding himself quite at leisure, the blind man took out his new book and began to read for the first time in his life. That he remembered anyway.

xXXx

***: The Japanese has been checked and approved by my Japanese teacher.

## *Chapter 18*: Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Fujiwara no Sai, former tutor to the emperor, a celebrated player of Go, used to playing with the eyes of Go loving Japan in the Edo period, and the Go loving world upon him only a few years ago, was nervous as hell when he walked in the Touya Go club, that Wednesday morning, after having been dropped off by title holder and Go-pro Ogata, ready to start his very first day at work.

He was glad he was well rested from the day before.

After he had spent a few hours learning to read by the fountain the day before, it had been Ogata who had roused him out of his book by offering to come and pick him up, taking him to the Go club.

There they first had replayed one of Ogata's games from the last Gosai tournament (and Sai had learned that Ogata had held that title too but lost it, and now was training to get it back). Touya soon had joined in the discussion, making no further mention of Shuusaku, for which Sai had been grateful. And later Hikaru had shown up just in time to join in a challenge of speed Go.

Playing at the Go club had, up to this morning (and not including his very first visit), been fun and without too much stress. But now it was different; now he had to perform and give his 'clients' their money's worth.

Knowing that in his past life as a Heian noble, he had been a Go tutor did nothing to assuage his anxiety; for he remembered nothing of that time and any teaching skills he must have learned there were lost to him now.

Sai shored up his courage as best he could as Ichikawa's /'Ohayo!'/ greeted his knock on the club's outer door.

She quickly saw him to his table and then bustled off promising him tea and a client list in a moment.

oOOo

While he waited for her return, the blind man tentatively laid a hand on the table before him. He knew that before him stood the two Gobans that would fill his working life from now on; two 19 by 19 universes that had the potential to give him absolute bliss, today and every day from now on.

He moved his hand forward, encountering a wooden leg. His slid his fingers up the leg and onto the board. The depressions of the grid lines were clearly felt by his fingertips, and Sai smiled when he realized his fingers were trying to 'read' the lines as though they were Braille.

No, he thought to himself, no reading necessary; these 'sentences' were as yet empty.

The sudden longing to fill them washed over him so fast, the former ghost couldn't even gasp at it.

There will be playing today, he promised himself, there will be many more /kifu/ to remember by tonight!

xXXx

Sai's first client was an older sounding man, Otogai, who started talking the moment Ichikawa had walked away after instructing the man on how to play a blind man. And it seemed he wasn't going to stop talking while playing either, quite on the contrary, his monologue got faster.

It didn't bother Sai too much; most of what the man said was about Go anyway. From his play the blind man could tell, that while he was very much a fan of the game, his opponent's sense of strategy was weak and his choice of moves wooden as though he had learned them from a book and had never made them his own.

The constant stream of words also clued Sai in on what the man was exactly thinking as he executed his stiff moves. Within the first ten moves of the game Sai had already decided that this was going to have to be a /shidogo/ game as the difference in strength was just too great of an un-handicapped game.

Sai's first two hours as a 'working stiff' flew by, and Otogai left saying he was so glad he had taken the second-hour-at-half price introduction offer, and that he was going to book again for sure!

Ichikawa told him he had a 10 minute break before the next client was scheduled and served him tea with chocolate biscuits.

After the break there was a quiet older sounding man with a fairly solid Go skill that first wanted a 'straight' game, 'to test your skill, young man' and then, after having lost spectacularly, asked for a handicapped game at 8 stones. Sai was very impressed with the man's self knowledge, as that was the exact number the former ghost would have recommended had he been asked.

By the time lunch break was over Ogata and Touya had arrived and all three decided to dissect the Honinbō prelim game that Touya had played that morning.

At this time Sai also found out that Ogata had booked all the game slots of every one of Sai's working afternoons of this week and the next.

And while it was undeniable that it would give them the freedom to play or discus or do whatever in the afternoons, Sai wasn't sure if this was quite right; for one thing it would cost the man a fortune! It worried him greatly; since he still owed the man a game a day for letting him stay. If Ogata was buying the blind man's time as well, how was he ever to pay off his debt?

In a quiet moment when Ogata had gone off to rustle up some dinner Sai quickly asked Touya for advice.

'Oh, don't worry about it,' the young man said, 'Ogata is a full partner in the club; he doesn't need to spend any money!'

Oh. Sai hadn't thought of that. Well, at least it explained how the titleholder had gotten him this job so fast. But it did leave Sai with another quandary; if Ogata was part owner of the club, he would effectively be paying part of Sai's salary, which the club ought to earn back in fees from the customers paying for Sai's. But if Ogata then monopolized his work time, the titleholder would still be paying Sai in a roundabout way. Did that mean the blind man was even more indebted to him or less? Sai didn't know and it made his head hurt thinking about it. And anyway Ogata was distracting him by setting up another game of speed Go before dinner. A dinner that was paid for by Ogata, by the way. When does this money thing end? Sai thought helplessly before turning his formidable brain to going whole hog trying to outplay Ogata.

xXXx

The next morning Sai felt a lot more self-assured when he sat down in 'his' chair at work. The day before had gone smoothly, and he felt confident now that he could really do this job properly.

Sai had been quite excited when he had been given his schedule that morning; his second slot was filled by a 5-dan pro! Of course the blind man had played pros - Ogata, Touya and Hikaru - before, but he was still looking forward to finding out what style this one would have.

As Ichikawa introduced the new 'client' and explained to the man how to play a blind man, the man was brusque and tried to brush her and her instructions off almost rudely.

Sai didn't have much time to reflect of the man's behavior when the man claimed white for his choice of color, waving his right to a 6 and a half point /komi/ - declaring that he didn't need it to play a blind man - and opened the game with a clack of a stone on the board and a growled out coordinate to go with it: lower left star point.

Well, Sai could tell he wasn't going to like this fellow, but he knew that liking an opponent (or not) had nothing to do with playing a good game, and he was determined to give the man the best game he could, and hopefully raise the man's opinion of him.

Dama was a strong player, well versed in all the standard moves, but he was willful too, almost like he was rebelling against these standard gambits. Sai wondered briefly who his teacher was, as he could see the hand of another in the pro's play; it was almost like he was at war with his teacher's influences.

About 40 hands into the game, Sai felt he had a good grasp on the 5-dan's style of play, and he decided to start his offence.

At about 70 hands his opponent caught on and started to react, but it was too late; Sai's prep work had started to pay off and the game was pretty much decided; all that was left was for Dama to play it out to try and minimize the losses. And all that Sai had to do was stick with him and try to corral more points.

It was in the middle of the end play that he called out a coordinate to connect two of his most crucial formations that Dama said, 'There is a stone there already.'

Sai startled; how could there be a stone there? He checked his virtual board; no, nothing there.

'What color?' he asked.

'White,' came the answer.

Sai cleared his virtual board and quickly replayed the game. Still the junction remained empty. And no move had gone missing or was out of sequence.

'Look, if you're not able to play Go, you should not be taking on opponents, you know,' the man drawled accusingly.

The man was right, of course, if he couldn't play he shouldn't seek to play anyone. But for the life of him Sai could not explain how that space ended up being filled by a white stone?

He could feel dread running up his spine; this sort of a mistake was unacceptable in playing Go, it was an insult to the opponent and at the very least it was an instant loss. It was an absolute disaster. And if he couldn't guarantee a well-played game, without mistakes, Sai knew he couldn't keep playing and if he couldn't play, he certainly wouldn't be able to keep his job.

He felt his hands turn cold at the thought; his dream job that others paid for! Others, Ogata, to whom he owed too much to already! If Ogata found out he'd lost his job due to a mistake in Go, on his second day at work, would he still be interested in him enough to let him stay? Or would he end up on the street again, or at the shelter? He couldn't stop a shiver. Oh god, he never wanted to have to go back there again, ever!

'Are you gentleman ready for a cup of tea?' Ichikawa's ever cheerful voice sounded.

'No, I'm ready to leave this mockery of a game!' the man spat venomously, scraping his chair back loudly.

Yes, it was a mockery, Sai realized, letting his head fall in shame. How could a blind man play Go professionally? It was absurd! And yet it was all that he'd ever wanted; playing great games, and earning respect. But there was no respect to be had today; he'd messed up and he deserved getting fired over this, he knew that very well.

'Oh? What happened?' she asked, her tone vaguely concerned.

'I miscounted,' Sai quickly confessed before the other man could accuse him.

'I see,' Ichikawa said and he could hear a chair being moved and a person sitting down at the table, pulling the chair in position beneath her.

'I'd like to see that, if you don't mind,' she said, and though her tone was still soft, it didn't sound like a request. 'Please give me the coordinates, Fujiwara-sensei,' she asked and Dama snorted at her use of the word 'sensei'. Sai let his head hang lower; he knew he deserved the derision.

Sai quickly recited the game, and could hear the stones hit the second Goban as Ichikawa played them. He was acutely aware of the sharp sounds as they pierced to air, and was secretly saving them in his head, fully cognizant of the fact that this was probably the last time he'd hear them. No one would want to play him after this, no one at all.

He stopped talking after he'd given the last coordinate; the black stone that was to have gone on the occupied space.

'Why are you stopping?' Ichikawa asked.

'Because that space is already occupied,' Sai admitted dully.

'No it isn't,' the girl's voice chimed.

What? How can that be, Sai wondered.

'Oh! It is occupied on this Goban,' Ichikawa's voice now came from nearer the first Goban.

'Why, that dirty cheat!' she groused.

What? Cheat? The man had cheated?

Relief flooded through him; he hadn't miscounted after all? He wasn't going to lose his job due to incompetence after all?

His hand found its way up to his face and he wiped at the tears that he found there.

'Ichikawa-san,' Touya's voice startled Sai with its sudden appearance and unusual harshness; this wasn't over yet, he realized, and he swallowed as he awaited the young pro's verdict.

'Yes, Akira-kun,' she responded in an equally serious tone.

'Was that Dama, 5-dan, I just passed on his way out?' Touya asked.

'It was,' Ichikawa confirmed.

'He played white in this game?'

'He did.'

'Well then,' Touya gave sigh, 'have him membership revoked and put him on the black list; we do not tolerate cheaters here!'

Sai felt another small surge of relief that the man would not be let into the club again, but he still sat waiting for the young co-owner of the Touya Go Club to chastise him as well, even if it turned out he had done nothing wrong.

'Fujiwara-sensei, are you all right?' Touya's voice held concern, and Sai let himself un-tense a bit; maybe he wasn't going to get yelled at just yet.

'I'm fine,' he lied.

'Yeah, right, sure,' the young man drawled, the disbelief plain from his voice.

'Tea, I think, and cookies,' he ordered, adding, 'and make it those chocolaty ones, if you would.'

'Yes, Touya-kun,' Ichikawa said laughingly before hurrying off.

Sai tried to hide his new tears behind his hand after he found he could not stop them overflowing his eyes. He wasn't ever sure why he was crying; did he think Touya was angry with him? Touya didn't sound angry as the boy came closer, put a hand on his shoulder and tried to tell him it was going to be 'all right'. Maybe that was why he was crying, because it had turned out 'all right' so far? But somehow it didn't feel like it was over yet, somehow there was more and it was the not knowing that made him cry harder.

'Fujiwara, please stop crying,' Touya pleaded. But Sai just couldn't and he brought up his plastered hand in an attempt to cover more of his face.

Touya's voice changed from mildly upset to an artificial calm. 'Can you tell me what's wrong? Please!' the young pro added, his tone subtly changing to exasperation.

'Please, tell me!' the boy repeated when Sai still didn't answer after a long minute.

In that time he had re-won some courage; no matter what the news, receiving bad news is always better that remaining in doubt. He drew in a breath and asked for the answer that he so desperately needed to have right now.

'Are you going to fire me?'

The question sounded pitiful to even his own ears and he cringed, but the need to know outweighed the embarrassment, so he didn't take it back.

'Fire you? Whatever for?' Touya sounded genuinely surprised.

Whatever for. Sai wasn't sure either but that fact didn't take the fear away.

'For... for causing a scene,' he stammered, not being able to think of another better reason.

To Sai's amazement Touya laughed. It was a good sound, the blind man decided.

'If we threw out everybody that made a scene in here, this place would be deserted! Go players have some of the hottest tempers around, and boy, are they emotional, when it comes to losing!' The boy tapped his hand twice on the shoulder of newest employee of his family's Go club, before letting go and exclaiming, 'ha, here's the tea and after that I want to see you work!'

With that Touya took a chair and Ichikawa informed them Sai did have another 5 minutes before the next client was expected. They filled the time with looking over the cheated game on the first board; or at least Touya did, Sai didn't really want to talk about it, but in the end he was gratified that Touya concluded that even if the cheat had worked, Dama had been so far behind he still would have lost.

'Such a stupid man; there is no dishonor in losing to a better player, but he had to go and cheat, and that is unforgivable...' Touya mused out load. Sai could hear the regret in the young pro's voice, and briefly wondered how he himself had felt in his first life when the other courtier had cheated and then had falsely accused his former self of cheating. He knew nothing of that bygone age other than what Hikaru had told him and that had been nothing about the social conventions of that era. Suddenly he longed to know.

oOOo

The next day had started oddly chaoticly; Ogata had miscalculated and set the alarm clock for a time that left only 15 minutes for him to get ready for the day. A day that started particularly early as Ogata had a train ticket to Kyoto for an important game.

After Ogata had whirled about the apartment like an autumn tempest, apologizing about 20 times that he wouldn't have time to drop Sai off at the club today and dropping some wrapped sandwiches in Sai's lap, the man rushed out the door, and the former ghost felt it was safe to get off 'his' seat on the couch, and get dressed.

Since it was still early, Sai started on the next page of his Braille book. His fingers were slowly getting used to recognizing the formations and with each new page his reading speed seemed to double.

It was a very interesting book too; the first page had been simple poems, then in the next two pages a classic fairy tale had been written, and after that, on the page he had just finished was the start to a history of Braille, about its inventor and his experiences. Sai wondered what life for a blind man would have been like in his own original time; the Heian period. Probably just as bad, if not worse that in Mr. Braille's time, he mused.

With a start he realized he had forgotten to keep track of time! He quickly checked his watch; he'd been reading an hour and to his relief it was now about the time they'd left the house the last two days, so he was right on schedule.

His relief came to an abrupt end when he realized Ogata would not be driving him to the club as he was not here. What to do? Call Kawai, obviously. Oh, but Sai didn't have his number; somehow he had forgotten to ask it. Uh, what else could he do? Call Hikaru to ask him for the number? Wouldn't that be a little rude, this early? And anyway, there are thousands of cabs in Tōkyō; it didn't have to be Kawai's cab, did it? No, it didn't.

He stuffed his book in his bag, put on his shoes, locked the door behind him on the way out and purposefully set off down stairs to the reception area.

While Sai had never ordered a taxi before, he was pretty sure that people at reception desks could do that sort of thing for you and the former Heian noble shored up his courage and after walking up to the desk he asked the doorman to call him a cab.

The good news was that it worked perfectly, much to Sai's relief, but the bad news was that it would be another 10 minutes before the cab would get there to pick him up. Sai did have a bit of leeway in his schedule; so far Ogata had dropped him at the club at 9:40, so if the cabby was as fast as Ogata, today he'd still be there at 9:50, he calculated. Nothing to worry about then.

As it turned out either the cabby was a slow driver or Ogata drove unusually fast, but Sai arrived at 9:55, and was immediately directed to go to his 'work station' by Ichkawa the moment he came through the door.

He had found his station, pulled out his chair, dropped his bag, and sat down, folded his cane and put it on the table, before he realized he was not alone. He was so startled an almost rude 'Who's there?' came out, as he sprang back up out of his chair.

He realized his mistake at once but was saved from having to apologize by a 'Sorry to startle you,' that came to him in the tones of a calm mature male voice, from directly across the table, and consequently from across one of the Gobans.

'That's alright,' Sai said, 'I am Fujiwara Sai, pleased to meet you. Uh, are you on my schedule?' he added tentatively.

'I believe I am,' the man said cordially, 'Touya Kouyo, pleased to meet you.'

xXXx

## *Chapter 19*: Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Touya Kouyo.

Sai stiffened; Touya Kouyo, one time holder of 5 Go titles, the best player in Japan, maybe in the entire world. Touya Kouyo, his opponent in _that_ game. Even if Sai didn't remember him, he remembered the moves after the man's son had prompted him.

Suddenly Sai was nervous, more nervous than had been when he started his job two days ago. Here was the man Hikaru had called the former ghost's rival; the one whose ability matched Sai's own. Or it had when he had still been sighted, even if he had been a ghost then and Hikaru had to use subterfuge in order to let him play this man.

But now things were different, he was different; maybe Touya-san was different too. Would the man still want to play him, or was he here merely out of curiosity?

'Again, sorry to startle you; I didn't know I'd be able to get here so soon, I was lucky I could get out of my commitments as fast as I did, and I took the first flight out,' the man sounded insecure. It momentarily surprised Sai; why, it was almost as though the other man was nervous as well. Now there was a thought!

'Akira phoned me some days ago, letting me know that you were here. He told me all about you, all the trouble you've had in the past year,' the man continued.

Ice suddenly lanced through Sai; he knows! He knows about the shelter, he knows I am, was, destitute, oh god!

'He told me of your amnesia and of your blindness,' Touya went on unerringly merciless, like a surgeon wielding a scalpel, making Sai's world slowly start to spin; he knows it all!

'But I'm so glad to learn you've re-found your ability to play. I've seen the /kifu/ of some of the games you've played with my boy, absolutely fascinating!' the former 5-times-titleholder said animatedly and then added 'Shall we play?' when Sai didn't respond.

He came back to himself as he always did at the offer of a game; it was like using smelling salts on a fainting person, it never failed to rouse him.

'Yes. Yes, of course,' he said and retook his seat, feeling numb still. His rival knew all these embarrassing things about him, no secrets were left to him, except for those known only to Hikaru and himself. But even so Sai felt horribly exposed and small.

'I understand you don't /nigiri/?' Touya said after sitting down and moving his chair closer to the table. Sai could hear the rustle of the stones in the /goke/ as the older man removed each in turn from the Goban before him.

'Either color is fine by me,' Sai said a little listlessly. '6 and half /komi/?' he added, swallowing awfully loud to his own ears, trying to get himself into a game playing mood.

'Yes.' came Touya's firm reply.

'Alright. Hajimemashita,' the man added after some moments, and there was that slight current of air that indicated that he had bowed.

Sai bowed, 'Hajimemashita.'

xXXx

The moment Touya's first stone hit the board, it was like all the world disappeared leaving only the set of twice 19 lines and the junctions they made on a field of wood and the stones that might be placed at each of these junctions.

The permutations of a game of Go are endless and so are the opportunities for conquest on that wooden field. The sheer number of possibilities started to fill Sai's head at an alarming rate; for he knew that with this opponent he would have to pull out all the stops just to keep up with him, never mind getting ahead.

Even knowing that, it was barely 15 hands into the game that Sai realized he was falling behind. It was not just the shear brilliance of his opponent and the almost palpable pressure the man exuded, but it was also that the former ghost found himself ill prepared for this game.

From Hikaru's account of the last game Sai had played against Touya on NetGo, his ghostly self had had days to prepare for the battle and had studied the /kifu/ of many of Touya's games beforehand.

But he wasn't that ghost anymore, nor did he remember any of the games he had studied then. Really, he could only remember games he had actually played back then and only after being prompted by somebody!

Sai felt a moment of utter despair before he realized that he of course did remember that one game, because young Touya had read it out to him. He quickly called it up on a second Goban in his mind, and hastily started doing what he should have done much earlier; analyze the game.

The analysis confirmed the one thing he already knew; that it was a truly brilliant game. It also helped him to familiarize him a little bit with the Go master's style. But he as he worked through the game he became aware that this one /kifu/, no matter of how brilliant a game, would not yield enough information to get firm enough grasp on the other man's style for the battle he now faced.

In exasperation the former ghost abandoned the analysis when its low yield became clear and he also realized he hadn't made a move in the current game in quite a while. He turned his mind back to the first Goban and tried to put the new found knowledge, little as it was, to use.

A few more hands were played before Sai made another foray into his mind-space; this time he decided to analyze the current game, much like he had done with the twin games of himself against Akira and Hikaru. It would mean another long delay before he could play his next move, but his current opponent had not made a sound of complaint at Sai's ultra-slow moves, and he supposed that in world class professional Go, games could take a very long time.

So he hoped that as long as Touya didn't start prompting him for moves he was not going too slowly. He knew he was skirting the limits of common courtesy of social game playing at this speed, but then he reckoned that this really wasn't a mere social game; this was a real battle, not unlike the first few games he had played against Ogata, even if this time there were no discernible stakes in the game.

Once he finished his mental analysis, he ever so slowly started making moves on the real Goban, continually readjusting his mind's boards as the counter moves came in and reforming his strategy accordingly. From then on, Sai found that the former Meijin's moves weren't much quicker than his own, hopefully indicating that his moves were at least challenging.

It mortified him to think that he wasn't giving the grand master a worthy game, really that would be a very grave insult towards a 5 times title holder.

It was another 50 moves later that Sai realized that his moves may be thought provoking but they were not nearly good enough. As he played out the game in his head he counted a minimum loss of 10 points. He cursed himself for having been so ill prepared, and he cursed himself again for not starting that analysis sooner and he cursed himself for being blind.

His heart contracted at the thought of having lost by so many points. And he berated himself for ever thinking he could play an equal game with someone of Touya-san's stature. He was a blind fool with delusions of grandeur, just like Dama had implied. A fool!

Just to be safe Sai replayed the predicted end of the game again in his mind; and again came up with over 10 points down as the very best scenario.

He hung his head to hide the tears that had formed, but he wouldn't let himself out of admitting his failure so he sucked in a breath, bowed lower and said, 'I have lost.'

'I'm sorry,' he added, 'I should not have played without a handicap, I'm just not strong enough to give you a worthy game. I...,' here he swallowed, working up to say what felt as the truth, 'Maybe I'm not who I thought I was, maybe I'm not the SAI from NetGo...'

There, he'd said it. He hadn't known he was going to say that, but he realized as he said it that it was what he felt in his hart to be true. After all, he remembered only vague snippets from before, and while he believed in what the boy had told him, it was just too fantastical to possible be true, wasn't it?

No matter what else was in confusion, one thing was painfully clear: this game proved conclusively that Blind Mayō from the Harborstreet Men's Shelter was not ever going to be in the same league as Touya Meijin, 5 times title holder, or SAI from NetGo. And he really should have known better than to ever think he could be. Stupid, stupid fool!

Sai felt himself start to shake under the onslaught of his emotions and he couldn't stop either the tears or his sobs. The sudden shock of a large male hand gripping his left shoulder made him gulp and freeze. Touya-san's breathing now came from close in front of him indicating it was his hand on the blind man's shoulder. The hand shook his shoulder once and then gripped tighter, but not painfully so.

'Now, you listen to me,' the other man's voice boomed, 'I don't know who told you such non-sense, but I can tell you here and now that you _are_ the SAI I played on NetGo, there is no doubt about that!' With that the man pressed down one more time before letting go and making the faux leather of his seat creak as he sat back down.

'But...?' Sai stammered. But he had lost so spectacularly, so unworthy of SAI, how could the Meijin still think that?

'Oh there are differences,' Touya began, 'after some years there are bound to be. And Akira-kun tells me you've only started to play again last week, whereas I've been training non-stop for the past two years, so I guess you're a little behind now. And I can tell your sense of space has changed, is probably all those walks you took this last year! And it can't be easy to play blind like that, either.'

'But despite all that, I'd recognize SAI's style out of thousands and let me tell you; you are he.'

The Meijin sounded so sure that Sai was slowly starting to believe it. Still he couldn't resist asking, 'Really?' in a very small voice.

'Yes, really,' the man confirmed.

It was almost surreal. Here he was, an impossibility, a man born a thousand years ago, who had died and had become a ghost only to be alive again today, but with no real memory of all those events. Sai had believed what Hikaru had told him, honestly he had! But his own inability to recall any of it in anything more than snippets which could so easily have been figments of an over active imagination, had given him a deep seated doubt.

Now he found himself acknowledged by a man who had neither reason to either help or hinder him; the Meijin could play him with or without bringing up his past as SAI of NetGo. No, the Meijin had reassured him that even though he had lost so badly, he was indeed who he thought he was. Sai's relief was monumental, for losing his identity twice would have been a nasty blow indeed!

'Ichikawa, time for tea!' Touya boomed, adding towards Sai, 'I want to know what you were thinking here, around 12-15.' A distinct displacement of air hinted at a wave of the man's arm across the Goban. Sai realized he referred to a gambit he had tried to set up earlier but that had become defunct pretty fast when the master player had attacked him elsewhere.

'This is quite a new thing in your style, it needs work still, but I can see its possibilities,' the Meijin's steady voice continued.

'The idea was to connect the formation at 13-16 and the still empty space at 9-10, so that…'

And so they fell into a pleasantly long conversation on game strategies, only briefly interrupted by the arrival of tea and cake as lunch. It wasn't until very late that night, while laying his head on his pillow that the blind man realized that he hadn't had a chance to play Ogata, Hikaru or young Touya, even though they had all been at the club that day.

None of them had let any disappointment show, nor had any of them wavered in their enthusiasm about the first game played that day, even commending him on a game well played, and utterly playing down his defeat.

After dinner Touya had suggested a second game, having tentatively inquired if the blind man felt up to it so soon. Sai had still felt knackered after that first harrowing game, but he was too tempted to say 'no' to any invite to play from this man. And so he said yes, and got duly clobbered again; being no more prepared than he had been that morning and having to combat his growing exhaustion from that day and the days and weeks past.

So there hadn't been time to do any thinking that day until after bedtime. And lying in bed, being really too emotionally drained to fall asleep fast, Sai reflected on his new life, a flood of warmth permeated him; the unwavering support of his new friends shining like a star in his dark world and lighting his as yet empty Goban, that awaited the endless permutations of so many great games to come.

Yes, the future looked bright indeed!

oOOo

End of part 2.

xXxXx

_There will be an epilogue to this part as well, so stick around!_

_**Thanks to everybody who reviewed! 3 3 3** _

_I've answered all those that I could, so all those that were not anonymous and that did take personal messaging. Thanks again!_

**aoi65** _asked in the reviews if I was going to write this chapter from Touya sr.'s point-of-view. Since you've just read it_ _,_ _you already know I didn't._ _  
_ _In this story I set myself the task of writing one POV only and rigorously stuck to that resolution. Of course I seriously snookered myself by picking a blind character as my very first hero! Yes, very dumb. But hey, I did learn a lot from the experience._

_I do, however, feel free to write the epilogues in a much free-er style and POV, so expect to see some of those appear at the end of this trilogy._

' _Trilogy,' yes, you read that right. Sai & co. will be back in part 3: 'The Ever Winding Road.'_ _I've written about half of it already. And will most likely start upping after the epilogue to this has gone up. If I don't get cold feet, that is…_

_Author Alert me to get an automated message from FF whenever I add or update a story._

_If you want to be updated on HnG stories I'm not posting on FF but elsewhere, PM me and I'll put you on my list._

## *Chapter 20*: Chapter 20

**Epilogue**

_This epilogue was written in a dialogue style, with each new line representing a change in speaker._

(long pause) "14 – 6"

"13 – 5"

(long pause) "14 – 5"

"13 – 4"

"Sai, do you have to counter my move so quickly?" Hikaru whined.

"Sorry Hikaru," the former ghost said, his voice contrite.

(long pause) "14 – 4"

(medium pause) "15 – 4"

(longer pause) "15 – 3"

(short pause) "15 – 5"

(very long pause) "16 – 1"

(no pause at all) "16 – 2"

"Hey!"

"Sorry."

(long pause) "17 – 4"

(medium pause) "16 – 4"

(long pause) "18 – 4"

(shortish medium pause) "19 – 4"

(long pause) "12 – 4"

(shortish medium pause) "11 – 4"

"Geez, Sai, let up on me will ya? You're pounding me into the ground here!"

"Uh, sorry..."

(long pause) "11 – 3"

(medium pause) "11 – 2"

(very long pause) "So how am I supposed to defend against that? That's like, unfair!"

"Sorry."

"Sai, what's that you're doing under there anyway? Under the table?"

"Uh, well, nothing really..."

"Why you...! You're reading under there! You're sitting here with me playing Go and reading at the same time? I am not interesting enough for ya!"

"But Hikaru, of course you're interesting enough, it's just that the book is just getting to the exciting bit!"

"More exciting than Go? No way! Are you sick or something?"

"No, uh, I don't think so."

"Well, since I'm getting creamed here anyway, I think I'd better resign. I really don't know how you can play Go and read a book at the same time!"

"Well, I don't use my hands to play Go so they are free to read."

"That's no explanation; you do need your brain for both activities don't you?"

"I guess..."

"Man, you're just plain weird!"

"Sorry."

(sounds of Go stones being gathered and put in a /goke/)

"So what is that book about anyway?"

"Well, it's about a man who's not very nice really, and there are these ghosts, they try and fix him, so he'll be nice again!"

"This is a Japanese book?"

"Uh, no, I couldn't find a Japanese book with nice ghosts in it; they were all very scary and not at all nice! So the nice lady at the library recommended this one. It's English."

"It's in English?"

"Oh no, I don't read English! It's a translation. It's really quite good, it sets around an English festival called /Kurisumasu/. And it's very cold; there's lots of ice and snow. And the people are very poor, except for this one man who was not very nice but very rich. But he is very unhappy."

"Sounds a bit dreary to me."

"I guess. And I had hoped that the ghosts in the story would have been like me, so I could know more about my past, but they were never alive. They are more like /kami/ then the souls of departed people. They are certainly much wiser than I am."

"Nah, you were not too bad in the wisdom department."

"Oh thank you, Hikaru!"

"Think nothing of it, I aim to please!"

"You know, the story in this book, it may not be about me, but it really is a good story, even if I don't understand about /Kurisumasu/ and even if they are obsessed with food in it. Actually, I can understand their obsession; going hungry really is no fun."

"Oh man, you're depressing me!"

"Sorry."

"All this talk of cold and hunger is making me want to eat loads of hot Ramen, right now!"

"Right now? It's only 11 am.!"

"Yeah, Ramen sounds great right now, let's go!"

"Uh, okay."

xXxXx

_Note1: This little epilogue was fist posted out of order, so as to at least coincide with the Holiday season.  
Winter-time is never the best time for me, I'm afraid, so I was unable to get the few chapters before the epilogue up so the epilogue could have been up by Christmas. Upping it out of sequence was the best I could do at the time. Now it's all in its proper order, and I hope that those of you who read it for the first time right now, like it, even though it's not Christmas time anymore._

_Note 2: The epilogue from BL1 still stands._

_Note 3: As I've said at the end of chapter 19 Sai & co. will be back in BL part 3: 'The Ever Winding Road.' Author Alert me to get an automated notice of when I start uploading BL3.  
_

_Note 4: For the past year I've been trying to get somebody to Beta read for me, but I've had no luck, the services of my sister notwithstanding. She did a great job, but she's not a HnG fan, and she has her own life so I can't keep relying on her. So I think the time has come for me, however unwillingly, to go it alone, or else none of my fics will ever finish!  
That does mean I will be missing a level of quality control, with all that entails. But it is that's or nothing at all. And maybe I have learned enough to do without a Beta from now on..._

_**Again thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I've tried to answer every single review. Please give more review-luv!** _

**Author's Note:**

> On the erratic formatting; sorry, very long story.  
> Short version: just learn to live with it, I have.  
> PM me if you want the long version, but be warned, I'll start grouching. ;-)


End file.
